Father's Role in the Personality Development of Daughter
God was busy in the creation process of man. He chose a figure with good height as man. “What type of father is this?” an angel asked in curiosity, “When you create infants as tiny creatures, which did you give 6 feet height to his father? If they have to play with their young ones, or want to kiss them, they need to bend down to bottom.” Hearing the doubt of angel, God smiled and replied, “Yes, you are right. But if I create father as short as his kid, then to whom should children look with expectations and security feelings?”
Yes, God is right. But now we live in a world where fathers become tinier than kids – both in thoughts as well as actions. When we open daily newspapers our minds get shocked seeing the dreadful news of child abuse by parents. Now kids have begun to start looking outside with expectations and security rather than parents and family members. That’s were hunters hidden with nets smitten in honey and sugar waiting for victims. When innocent kids fall in the lust of mobiles and sweets, both their minds and bodies get exploited in wrong means destroying their souls and happiness forever. Most strange fact is that such abuses may happen from child’s own home itself, particularly if she is a girl.
No need to feel nervous. Such incidents never happen in all homes, but such things are only associated with people of personality defects that can be noticed easily. Yet we can’t deny the fact that changes are occurring in society so fast and some news are getting space in newspaper columns frequently taking away sleeps and peace of many homes around eyes, with mothers’ restless eyes open always.
What are the duties of parents? What is the role of a father in the personality development of his children? What special treatment is needed for girls? In the nuclear families of present generation, do our girls get enough attention? Health drinks shown in ads, mobiles with latest technology or expensive toys and costumes – Parents of today, in their busy schedule give their kids such ‘toys’ to keep them happy. Can these expensive gifts provide a better tomorrow or mental development to your kid? Let us leave all those things and solely concentrate on the duties of father towards his daughter. It’s true, father is the most influential person of a daughter’s life and he plays a significant role in moulding her personality too. Let us see how it is possible.
Father’s daughter
Daughter is always father’s pet and son is mother’s. It’s common in almost all homes. Our ancestors say, ‘Mother gives birth to child, but father brings him up’. Yes, both love and punishments given by father plays a significant role in bonding father and child. In the childhood, nothing else is needed for kids except strong security feeling from father. For that sincere attempts are needed from father’s side. More than fulfilling things with the aid of money and power, what kids really want is things achieved through love, time and bond. More than advices, children learn from observations. So, lead a role model life so that your kids can observe you close and learn everything live than through words. Of course a father should be able to support his kid at the bad time instead of blaming him. More than everything a father should never be a miser in spending time for his kid.
Father’s attention is most needed by daughters than sons. To make daughters mentally strong to fight against newly emerged social evils, no other person can inspire her more than her father. It’s applicable both in the case of home as well as society where she lives. It’s 100% proved fact that the healthy relationship between a father and daughter plays a significant role in the future life of a girl. You can ask or observe any happy daughter or wife around you. She sees role model in her father and that’s the reason why majority of daughters want their future husbands resembling their father. Such a healthy relationship makes the daughter mentally healthy and strong too.
Father is her role model
First hero or Superman of a child’s life is definitely father. A protective person who fulfills all my needs, a magician with tricks to please me and loves me more than anyone else – the day since he begins to recognize his father every child thinks so. At first father may his/her superhero. Slowly that admiration grows and he becomes his/her role model. Slowly she begins to imitate her father and during the teens, she seeks a good friend in her father. It’s not a new generation friend, but a sincere friend with whom she can share everything, a lovely friend who listens patiently her words.
When she reaches youth, she begins to depend on her father for everything and seeks his advices and opinions for silly and major decisions. The father-daughter bond exists till the end of journey of life. These are the vital phases of a girl’s life. So it’s equally important to know if your daughter has gone through all these phases. Has she got enough care and friendship from her father in the way what she actually deserves? Then only it can be told that she has got enough guidance from her father in her personality development. It’s equally applicable in the case of both parents. Parents should be role models to kids. They should grow along with their kids. Then only they can influence the kids in good means.
Open the doors of communication
In most families, open communication between mother and children happens while father is almost absent in conversations. In many cases, if father is rude children fear father and they seek mother’s help for fulfilling their needs. For a healthy relationship between father and daughter, the most vital factor needed is open communication. The bond of their relationship truly depends on the time spent by father with his daughter during her childhood. Incidents may be small or big, happy or unpleasant – memories of such moments she shared with her father stay alive in her heart and soul forever.
A child should be able to communicate freely with father for his preliminary requisites. It’s not possible to achieve such a relationship in a day or two. It’s a gradually developed cycle, as a part of building up of a strong relationship between father and daughter. Such a process should be started from younger childhood and gradually develop it as a blossoming flower from a bud. ‘Talking’ and ‘Listening’ are those two attributes that keep doors of communication wide open. If parents are able to listen to fantasies of kids, slowly they will develop better communication with parents. Ask daily about friends, school and interesting happenings that took place in schools. Encourage them to express their likes and dislikes. Sit with them for a while and take his ‘mind and beliefs’ in your hands. If your kid is able to believe you, he will surely develop better bonding with you.
As per experts’ opinion, those girls who are able to maintain better communication with their fathers will surely achieve success in married life and such girls will be able to communicate with their spouses in a better way. Make this bonding as early as possible in her childhood so that her future will also be successful manifold.
No discrimination between son and daughter
“You are a girl. So keep discipline…… Never do that…. You should behave this way….” mothers always imply such restrictions on daughters. In families such restrictions are imposed on girls only and not on boys. Though girls desire to respond the circumstances make them quite. They even feel that it’s right, as those lessons are given by their own mother. But those hidden internal clashes often get exposed before her father. Parents would always remind themselves that no discrimination should be done between girls and boys and they should be treated and given concessions equally. Father can easily cultivate positive thoughts in daughter’s mind that both boy and girl are equal.
Be a good listener
When a woman hears another woman’s problem, she may not be able to give suggestions quickly. While the problem is presented she may hear it patiently and comfort her friend too. But if it’s man, he will be able to provide some solutions as well. So, when a daughter at a younger age approaches her father with silly problems, he should be able to hear it patiently and provide his suggestions as well. If so she will never go in search of another person to discuss her problems.
Girl – Boy relationship should be healthy
The first male with whom a girl creates a bond is of course her father. So this relationship influences her most than any other male relationship. According to her, her father is the representative of whole mankind. He is the symbol of male category for her. So, whenever she becomes close to a male person in her life, first comparison she makes is of course, with her father. So, the father-daughter relationship is the key factor to determine many future relationships of her life.
If behaviour of father is bad, she make assumptions that whole males are so. This thought may deeply influence her dealings with male friends, society as well as married family life in future. Many studies have already proved that those girls who are able to create positive relationship with father will be self confident and they are able to adjust with their husbands in future too. Very often, girls closely watch how her father behaves and mingles with persons of opposite sex. Thus she learns many things through her father’s behaviour and dealings with ladies.
Encouragement and support
Though a child gets support from mother, things won’t run if he/she gets ‘No’ nod from father. To discover and encourage talents of daughters, support of father is a vital factor. When father supports her she feels self confident. For example, if she is interested in painting, the best surprise gift the father can give her is a canvas or a set of colour pencils. By this way, he is encouraging and nourishing her talents.
Now also in many corners of the world, many families still exist who give less preference to girl’s education. For many people she is only an object for a marriage and a servant to do household activities. Many parents often think that marriage is the ultimate destination of their daughter, nothing else. Very often, decisions of her further studies and job selection are purely done by her husband and his family. If father thinks that decision of her studies and job are to be done by her husband only, she may feel distant from her father as well as the whole male dominated society. Instead father should be able to make the strong decision that education should be given the first preference and let her stand in society in her own legs with full confidence. This single decision can make your daughter feel respect towards you.
Be a little patient
Many parents say ‘No’ all of a sudden. Instead they should be able to explain to their kids why they are not able to do so. If possible, you can postpone that task for a short while, asking them to wait for a while. Never shout at them, instead deal the situations calmly. If it’s your habit to shout at them always, only you lose the opportunity to talk to them with calm and patience afterwards.
Small recreations
Quality time for kids only increases the bond between parent and child. When your daughter is happy, a father should be with her. He should feel and express his happiness too. Parenting is complete only when parents are able to enjoy time with kids in small recreations along with completing their necessities. If parents are able to play with kids, through plays it’s possible to cultivate many positive and healthy habits in kids.
If father enters kitchen to prepare a special dish for his kid and she accompanies him, it provide some special moments for her. He can also tell small stories or incidents connecting to it. The happiness they share each other will definitely be the best than ordering a pizza at home. Similarly parents can also join their kids while they are engaged in some household activities. Ironing dress, keeping room tidy, arranging books, gardening and shoe polishing are a few such tasks that kids can also accompany the parents. By this way, they start learning new habits and discipline in life. It helps them from becoming idle too.
Cultivate response mechanism in kids
If a daughter is deficit of father’s encouragement, she may fail to respond in many bad situations. She might be in the feeling that she is only a slave and helpless person and nothing else. When she comes home and complaint about eve teasing, parents should be able to respond to the situation instead of hiding it. Such responses from parent side can deeply influence her personality development and self confidence.
Yet certain controls are needed
When she is young, she sleeps with her parents. But as time travels forward she reaches teenage and youth. So when she reaches the second stage of her life, give her a separate room. Though the relationship between father and daughter is healthy, certain precautions can be taken. Such a step gives many advantages to daughters too. First one, it gives less chances for her exploitation. Secondly it’s a practice to cultivate self-dependent feeling in her. Also it’s necessary to bring a discipline in the relation between father and daughter.
No fighting at home
Another great thing a father can do to his daughter is to love his wife sincerely. When the husband-wife relationship is strong, less probability prevail in the family for frequent clashes between the spouses. If a man is too harsh to his wife, his dealings can deeply influence his daughter’s mind and her future married life. If her parents stay together supporting each other, they give new lessons to their daughter. Also, such abuses can deeply influence the mental development of your daughter. If she witnesses the open fights between her parents every day, she may not weave good dreams about her marriage and married life. She may even assume that marriage can never give you happiness. Such thoughts can seriously affect her life in future. So father should be able to behave well and give respect to persons of opposite sex in his home, at least thinking about his daughter.
Drinking habits are bad
Drinking habits of father can influence son and daughter in two different ways. Boys may fall into bad relations and start bad habits too. If it’s the case of daughters, severe personal internal conflict is the end result. Her mind may experience tensions and deep distress. Children of such drink addicted fathers may have behavioral defects, tendency to break laws and mental status of quick outbursts in the distant future.
No… She is your daughter
All fathers are not bad. Yet when such columns frequently appear in newspaper pages, every mother doubts so. In such incidents case study is vital. If we closely watch such cases, we can notice two striking points. The first one is the absence of cultivation of a healthy relationship between father and daughter. Second fact is the absence of basic values of life! When both these facts join together hands in hands, fathers often forget to realize that ‘she is my daughter’. Third fact is – defects in character and mental development. If a person is a victim of such mental problems, you should go into his past to know if he has gone through such exploitations in past or childhood. Fourth factor is over doze of liquor. Less significant factors like illiteracy also comes in the list. A father should prepare his mind to see his daughter as daughter. Our society itself gives you a lot of lessons from which you can learn easily.
Conclusion
So, we have reached the end note of this discussion. In brief I have explained how a father can play the most significant role in the personality development of a daughter. Very often we read a lot of articles where it’s told that it’s mother’s responsibility to bring up kids and give them valuable lessons of life. The responsibility of a daughter is solely regarded as the duty of mother in our society. Definitely not! The truth is that kids are deeply influenced by the behaviour of their father than mother and if fathers are not able to cultivate good lessons in their kids, they are really missing some important things of life. A child’s development phase is never complete if he doesn’t get equal treatment from both his parents. It’s the duty of every parent to the society too.
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