Higher education for daughters

It's indeed a troubling question, a question of hot debate regarding social issues and women empowerment

It's about my neighbour. She is a graduate, 20 years old, and very childish in nature. She belongs to a middle class family, financially not sound. She has one younger sister. Her father in his late 40s suffers from Parkinson's disease for the past 10 years. Yet he is doing wielding job at home. Her mother is unemployed. The girl is very ambitious, she wants to secure a job, go to higher studies, while her family and relatives pressurize her to get married and settle. She knows it well, getting into a family life means almost a full stop to studies, which she doesn't want. She also wants to secure a good job and financially support her family (no boys in the family). Also she is not at all mentally prepared for a marriage, and looks like a girl of 15 or so, in appearance or behaviour. Though her parents are not against her wish, relatives mentally torture her and try to brainwash her saying about her father's condition. Her father's left hand is not working properly, yet he is fully active with his work with the help of an assistant. The matches she is currently getting are with 10thpass, plus two plus, graduation pass, working as accountant etc.

It's not a single incident. Many daughters need to leave their dreams for the sake of her family. What's your take? Should she settle with marriage, or take risk and study further? Very often girls are helpless. I support her to complete PG first, prepare for tests side by side and think about marriage after 2 years.

In Thrissur, I have noticed that most girls (if not into government sector jobs) get married while doing graduation or PG. Most girls marry off before they reach 24, while in Thiruvananthapuram great preference is given to girls' education and job. Getting married at the age of 27 or 30 is not a big deal. I too get married at the age of 26 and a half. 

 

Written by Category: Marriage 3 years ago
Sandhya Rani
Asked

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Personally I feel that a boy and girl should marry only when they are ready to face the responsibility of starting a new life together. The more you listen to other people and start giving importance to their opinion,  the more they try to trample you so best not to bother and do what is right for you  and your family. In this case it is all the more reason for the girl to seek a job since she will be able to look after herself, help her parents and also become more responsible and mature.. marriage at this stage should be the last priority.

usha manohar
Answered
Sandhya Rani Well said!!!! But certain things still exist in Indian society. Whatever developments we make, we still prefer to say, for a girl marriage is first priority, though she deserves good education, it's not at all necessary she should seek a job and become financially stable or help her old parents. Still parents see girls as a responsibility, and if she is married off, they got rid of the burden. Indian society still need to travel a lot!!! - Sandhya Rani - 3 years ago
usha manohar It entirely depends on the individual as to how they handle the society and unless parents don't change their mindset they cannot expect the society to be any different .. - usha manohar - 3 years ago
Sandhya Rani Yes, you are right - Sandhya Rani - 3 years ago

Like Usha said,  I too feel that one should get married only when one is mentally prepared to take the responsibilities of a married life. Only then ll the ciuples make effort to make their marriage a success. 

In this case, the daughter is right to want to continue her studies. Since the parents understand her wish, they should support her decision when the relatives are pressurising her.

jabeen
Answered

I fully support your views. And I am also of the opinion that if a  a girl thinks of supporting her family despite her handicap is a not a sacrilege. In this connection, I must say,that, the views of Tiruvunantapuram people's views on a girl getting married lately is noble. Additionally, late marriage is not uncommon.

Hence, my take on this is, the girl should go ahead.

rambabu
Answered

Mostly, in a situation like this child has a fear to go against his parents and, after all, they are parents who have always thought for the betterment of their own child. So child had only to do, is to share their own opinion with their parents and make him understand what they are trying to say. And if any child is good/best at his studies than their is no risk to go further for study instead of doing marriage and if he/she is not good at studies then also marriage not at all last choice. 

Aditya tripathi
Answered

Marriage is a big decision and can not be taken under pressure or compulsions. One should marry only when one is ready for it and finds right kind of person to marry. A hasty decision might unsettle and ruin the life, put it out of track. The so called settlement after marriage might be a misunderstood term. One can only feel settled when one feels justified with the decision taken. Problems always keep coming and going. They should not affect a decision like marriage. One cannot invite a bigger problem to settle another one that he or she is living with

Arunima Singh
Answered

Yes girls should go for higher education because one educated girl is equal to five educated boys. Whether they opt for a job or become a home maker, They with the help  of their knowledge become the driving force to reach their goals. 

Sreematrana
Answered

Life goes on and this day and age it is good to get a higher education and be qualified for better opportunities. Marriage is important too and it important to plan it accordingly.

Sheetal Kumar N
Answered

Education is important as it is the best way for a girl to sustain her own need 

roza mansoori
Answered

First, ask the girl for her interest to get the next studies. Generally, a girl must do computer learning i.e. DCA, BCA as she can get job easily in the office with a good salary and career opportunities. After getting a good job then go to start married life.

Dinesh Sood
Answered

I think we should focus on both education and marriage. After education and success in life one should think about marriage and when you are mentally prepare for marriage then go for planning.

Marriage should not be compulsion it should be ones choice.

Nidhi Rajput
Answered

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