There is always a method in any madness.  In our present madness to make as much money as possible, we often do not pay any attention to the more finer and basic things of life -- our emotions and feelings and the same of others -- in particular, those who are below us in terms of economic security and money that they have at any point in time.

It is such learning and such relationships that can help us to cement our life, lead a more balanced life, and look at life from several perspectives, while developing human relations as part of our day to day life.  All this when we are still  in the rat race and run in the rat race for one single opportunity or objective -- making as much money for ourselves in as short a time as possible.

How can we go about doing this, and doing it meaningfully?

Firstly, we need to understand that those who are richer than us are  normally -- with a number of exceptions, of course -- very less likely to make great friends with us or relate to us and our needs in the very same wavelength that we would like them to.  This is because they would get absolutely nothing from us, and their only objective would be to earn more money than what they have now.  Since we might not be contributing to that in any way, they would rather not bother to develop even a small working relationship with us.

I work for a living, at this point in time, in Coimbatore, the second largest city of Tamil Nadu.  It is a growing metro of sorts and it is growing by leaps and bounds.  Even areas that are some thirty kilometers away from the heart of the city are experiencing massive growth.

The Management institute that I work for as a teacher, is some eighteen kilometers from the heart of the city.  The exact location is not very well developed.  Housing plots have been sold, but no houses have come up.  However, the surrounding areas that are near a famous deemed University, in a place called Ettimadai, some one and a half kilometer from the college, are very well developed and it is likely that many new housing colonies will come up in the next five years, even near the college that I work for.

However, the present situation offers a good ground for developing human relationships and what I call as small joys.  There is a small tea shop en route to the main stop on the Palaghat highway, some one kilometer from my college.  The old lady, whose name is Muniamma, belongs to this very same place, and has lived for all of the forty years of her life, in a small tiled house.  She seems to have rebuilt it, and her one daughter along with her grandchildren, live as a joint family in the same house.  Muniamma is widowed, but her spirit is something that has to be seen to be believed.  She runs the tea shop and helps her daughter run the small restaurant from her house.

They would conservatively make a small profit of over around two hundred rupees from the food they sell from this small house.  Muniamma tells me that her shop had given her enough to see her daughters married. 

The other two daughters visit her off and on, and they in some other localities, but not very far away from the city.  She would pour hot tea into my flask, and then ask for  just five rupees.  In fact, though the tea is almost just hot water, there is nothing to complain about, as she actually gives me two cups for the price of one. 

She calls me "vaddhiyar" (which means teacher in Tamil), and respects me a lot.  She would hand over the daily Tamil newspaper and literally force me to sit and read it for at least five minutes every day.  Even if I miss going to her shop one day, I feel sad and empty. 

A seventy years old lady, shows what it is to develop basic human relationships.  Unlike fights in Chennai, at every tap supplying drinking water, to my surprise, at the tap near her house, some twenty odd women gather and take water to their nearby houses in plastic cans and even buckets.  Every single lady respects her, and though most seem to belong one community, there is no ill feeling whatsoever.

Coimbatore city in general is famous for very kind and considerate people.  They would respect even small children, as young as ten years, and call them "Vaanga",. (please come!) This is the equivalent of what we call as Aap in Hindi. 

Ditto at Ettimadai.  I find even elders who gather at the shop share small things in their lives -- about chit funds, how one neighbor has got a good match for his daughter, how the local bus has gone 'inside" and would come back in ten minutes and so on. 

The caring and sharing is so natural, there is no fighting at all, and no politics.  The elders point out that land is cheaper here, and I should compulsorily invest in land here.  They point out that the pace of development is a bit dull due to the recession, but when things are normal, there will be huge development here. 

Even a casual conversation leads to many good moods, leads to new friends and to new happiness.  Not a single day passes without some joke or the other.  The morning walk, almost every day, takes me to many other good things -- even those who are friends for just ten days offer to buy whatever I want when they visit the main city of Coimbatore, every day.

There are children chasing butterflies, there are people who iron clothes for a living, sit in their small petty shops selling all the small things that we buy everyday, there are small traders who approach them for refills of various items  --the friendliness is striking.

So, secondly, one has to really understand people -- the way they are, they way they live, and their humble strategies for pulling on.  In fact, one can even learn from them.  For example, Muniamma had a home remedy for my severe cold -- this cured me in less than forty hours when many antibiotics could not. 

Thirdly, there should never be any commercial intent in our relationships with them.  The small joys come naturally, and their affection for our welfare will take care of our happiness.  Appearing unduly commercial in our dealings and relationships will simply spoil everything.

Fourthly, the humble people, in my opinion, help us see life from a larger perspective and make us realize that there is more to life, than just money.  Many of these humble people do not have air conditioning or even fans in their houses.  They intelligently make it up -- they light up a small fire of dry neem leaves and the mosquitoes are nowhere to be seen.  They pull out their cots and then comfortably sleep in the open, very near their houses.  The night temperatures drop considerably in Coimbatore city, since it is situated above sea level.  Ettimadai is just twenty kilometers from the Kerala border and the beauty of the Western Ghats is itself, such a big treat to watch.  One can comfortably go for long walks in this beautiful place and just enjoy the atmosphere.

Fifthly, joys are very much within us.  When we develop small relationships with humble people, more often than not, the basic human relationships of caring and sharing come into focus, and when we are educated, the respect becomes automatic.  The limitless joys have to be experienced to be felt.

Sixthly, we become better human beings, and the muck in our heads comes down, at least to some extent.  We can battle commercial relationships at office and office politics, far better than ever before.

Hence, in it is my case that seeking relationships and friendships with very humble people, is something that we all need to do.  I am quite sure that many other readers would have also seen the beauty of such friendship, at some point in time.  The joys are real, they are not commercial, which makes it all the more enjoyable.

• Written by ABSIVAKUMAR.
• In category General.
• 9 years ago.

Hot Hits: 1060

Like it on Facebook, Tweet it or share this article on other bookmarking websites.