Five things not to say to your parents when your caught watching porn


1. I am sorry mom dad but i have grown up now (and get a tight slap)

2. We have sex education in school i m just researching on it ..

3. Daddy i found this CD in your cupboard.

4. OH!! so this is how i was born .

5. I Bought this CD from an old poor person , i was just trying to help him with some cash

 

5 things not to tell with SRK


1.Are you KRK?
2.Tum,Salman aur Aamir khan bhai ho na?
3.Karan Johar is your bf rite?
4.chalo khele Dus ka Dum.
5.hmmmmmmm * SRK STYLE*

 

Five things to remember while making FanTastic fiVe

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1) Choose the best topic as possible like 'Rakhi Sawant firse TV par royee aur yeh sunkar uski MAA-Jaya sawant ne Media par hi case kar diya' OR ' KRK kangaal ho gaya aur ab Jhopad-patti mein din guzar raha hai'.
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2) Never ever talk completely in English, Kafi log hain jinhe samajh nahi aayega, like Neeraj
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3) Pwning is important but don't forget to do it carefully otherwise it turns out to be Self-pwnage. For reference buzz ABHINAV
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4) Always try to be specific and extremely funny and get ready to know that nothing like that actually happened. Samajh aaya, kya kaha maine? Nahi? Second point dubaara pado
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5) Last but not least, always remember Baap baap hota aur beta beta. Ab panga liya hai, to nanga to tu bhi hoga
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PS:- Above was just a lame try, will try coming up with some good ones as well

Five things you should not say on TV while hosting a show with a VJ..


1.HI MOM , HELLO CHAMPA AUNTY!!.. YE MAIN HU!!!...MAIN!!

2.I can host this show better than he/she can.

3.Pretty soon i will be taking over this show.

4.Dont i look better than him/her.

5.(Tell the VJ) Hey can you get me a glass of water..

5 things which can be told to ur teachers when ur late


1]i had to help a sexy girl cross d road in traffic

2]i was on d way to college and a bike splashed mud on my clothes so had to go back.such an idiot he was

3]the bus driver was driving below 20:|speed.not my faulttttttt damitt

4]i was waiting for sunil and he suddenly got sick so i got late waiting for him

5]stomach painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
nn.aaahhhh

5 things nuh to say to KRK


1: Yaar teri gaaliyaan kaafi pooraani ho gayee ha..Kuch naya seekh k aaiyyo...

2: Raju Shrivastav Luks bettah dan yew...Smart hai vo tere se..

3: Kya aap SRK k Rishtedaar ho.??

4: Kaun se Chakki ka aata khaate ho bhai...??Ki inni acchi body bana li aapne..

5: Kkkkkkkkkk-RK...Autograph Plzzz...

5 things which can be told to ur teachers when ur

1.) Your mom asked me to Buy vegetables .

2.) My brother/sister got axident .

3.)Today, Guest came to my house.

4.)Aishwarya roy invited me for her party .

5.)Maa'm feverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!

5 things not to do at a temple/mosque/churches.

1. Wow look at that fat bastard.

2. Whoa! This pandit earns more than my father.

3. With a loud tone ; God why did you fcuk with me

4. Bhagwaan mujhe roadies mein entry dila de.

5. Prrrr......

5 things when you caught while peeing in public:

1. It saves water and helps in greenery!
2. Kya karu, control nahi hota! :D
3. Madam, idhar mat dekho mujhe sharam aati hai
4. Oh shit, I just did something shitty.
5. A I not in the pool?! :O

Five things which you never ever should do while on a date

1) Don't you ever put your finger in your nose. Even if you want to, wait for power cut.
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2) Don't you ever say to your date that you are interested in him/her even if he/she is seducing you enough. Remember, first impression is the last impression.  Ghar jaa kar, you are free to do anything
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3) Don't you ever try to drink soft drinks only. Bache date par nahi jaate yaar
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4) Don't you ever seek of glare at other boys or girls around. Click a photo of them quietly with your phone, and watch it later on.
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5) Last but not least, don't you ever use any of the public toilets as you can get in trouble. For reference, watch: F.A.Q about time travel.

Five songs you should sing to your girlfriend if you want to breakup with her.


1.Jabhi koi Ladki dekhu , mera dil deewana bole

2.aadmi hu aadmi se pyaar karta hu

3.mann ka radio bajne de zara

4.Main hu Don , Main hu don

5.Meri shirt bhi sexy , meri pant bhi sexy...

5 movies you should not watch with your parents


1.Hawas

2.Julie

3.Red Swastik

4.Sheesha

5.Rain

5 thingz nuh 2 say to Vibeck Oberoi

5 things not to say at time of Campus Placements..


Salman ka cell no. hai aapke Phonebook mein...??

Kyun ho gaya na k baad fir kuch hua kya...??

Saathiya nd Shootout k beech mein kitni filme ki thi aapne..I mean Hit filme..??

Y dun yew go fr Numerology...Make it V-Wack oberoi..Kya pata kuch ho jaye..

Sunaa hai Wanted Movie k liye aapko select kiya tha pehle...Buh den reject bhi ho gayee..Is it True.??


5 things not to say at time of Campus Placements.


1) About me -- I belong to highly educated family.  Including me!

2) Strengths -- I love cracking Jokes! dis Interview is Joke for me!

3) Weaknesses -- I cant hide my strengths !  , n I love My boss!

4) What salary do you expect, we are offering you 10,000 -- please ADD one more ZERO.

5) Interest - Social Networking am good in that !  Specially MTV Orkut Official community!


get lostttttttttttttttttttttt! lol

5 Things to happen with KRK coz of BB3


* Directors of KRK's movies will be putting foreign models in their movies so that they can get KRK to work for free.

* Big Boss-Drohi to release next year, featuring the exploitation of rich people in big boss.

* And now he is out so he can give amitabh a role in Desh drohi 2

* Will make sure no one sees him going into his rented flat in Lokhandwala.

* Will be cleaning all the clothes he has taken to big boss.

1. As he has no other clothes left. Coz thats all wht he has.

2. No money to buy new ones alt (big Boss kahan jeete )

5 Things u should not say to a Twilight Fan


1)Edward Cullen is GAY

2)Is Rosalie a Weasley?

3)I thought you had to be "Bitten" to be a WEREWOLF

4)Is cedric Diggory Edward Cullen? I thot Cho chang liked him

5)How come the cullens dont drink True Blood?

5 ways to flirt with a girl

1. Kya tum mere hone wale baccho ki maa banogi?

2. Kya tum apni chita ko aag lagane ka haq mujhe dogi?

3. You know, i gotta feeling, that yours parents may choose me as your partner in arrange marriage.

4. I have started calling your sister as my sister-in-law.

5. Hey you know how to use a condom, cause i am researching on aids.

5 things not to tell with your wife


1. Mujhe Divorce chahiye!

2. Tum apni Maa Ke ghar kab jaa rahi ho?

3. Padosan Shanti bahooth khoob surat hain na?

4. Mein iska baap hoon kya?

5. Tum kaun ho?

Five things which I hate to be asked.

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1) When I am sitting in a Multiplex, watching a movie and suddenly someone sitting next to me asks, DID YOU SEE THAT? :| Like, I am there just to sit in AC hall to watch roof and walls :|
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2) When you are standing in a bus queue and someone asks you, HAS THE BUS ARRIVE YET? :| Main to yahan to time pass ke liye khada hua hun na jo sirf bus ko aate jaate dekhta hai :|
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3) When ever I wakes up and some random person asks me, YOU WOKE UP? :| Nahi, bhai neend mein chal raha hun main to :|
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4) When I reach some destination and people asks, YOU ARRIVED? :| WTF? mera bhoot khada hia kya tere saamne? Dikhta nahi tujhe? :|
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5) Last but not least, when I am chatting with someone and the other person asks, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Main bike chala raha hun, tu baithega peeche? :|
Cheers !!!
Cont....; )

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