The Natural Selections: Dar-view-nism
The Natural Selections: Dar-view-nism – 29/11/09
Preface
My doctor has advised me not to spend time watching TV as my eyes have become weak and I am not allowed to sit in front of the PC for a long time as I suffer from Degenerative Disc disease. Yet that didn’t stop me from watching Roadies and throwing some Dar-view-nism on it!
Yes, even Darwin has some Roadies spirit, which makes me wonder if I should try for Roadies 8… hmm… ;)
Introduction
Last week we had seen Delhi and Bangalore auditions.
While Delhi auditions simply got a boilerplate response, Bangalore didn’t quite live up to the expectations with only one Roadie being selected from the whole city!
Expectations from Mumbai were high and so was my mood (No I wasn’t drunk!) as I was finally successful in toilet training my doggy
So I happily wrapped myself around a blanket and sat on my sofa with a chilled can of Mountain Dew on my hand and some chips by my side.
Why Mountain dew? Kyunki ‘Dar’ kea aage ‘win’ hai :p
Chapter I – The city that never sleeps
MTV Roadies has reached Aamchi Mumbai – The final city for audition.
The craze of Roadies is no less here as we saw tons of mast mumbaikars turn up for the auditions.
Today we saw Aayushman hosting the show instead of Bani.
GDs started as usual with the moderators letting loose a bunch of animals who would compete in shrieking and shouting so that they survive the first phase of selection.
It went quite good without having to cage any of the animals for misbehaving and a handful of them were short listed for the PI round.
My doctor has advised me not to spend time watching TV as my eyes have become weak and I am not allowed to sit in front of the PC for a long time as I suffer from Degenerative Disc disease. Yet that didn’t stop me from watching Roadies and throwing some Dar-view-nism on it!
Yes, even Darwin has some Roadies spirit, which makes me wonder if I should try for Roadies 8… hmm… ;)
Introduction
Last week we had seen Delhi and Bangalore auditions.
While Delhi auditions simply got a boilerplate response, Bangalore didn’t quite live up to the expectations with only one Roadie being selected from the whole city!
Expectations from Mumbai were high and so was my mood (No I wasn’t drunk!) as I was finally successful in toilet training my doggy
So I happily wrapped myself around a blanket and sat on my sofa with a chilled can of Mountain Dew on my hand and some chips by my side.
Why Mountain dew? Kyunki ‘Dar’ kea aage ‘win’ hai :p
Chapter I – The city that never sleeps
MTV Roadies has reached Aamchi Mumbai – The final city for audition.
The craze of Roadies is no less here as we saw tons of mast mumbaikars turn up for the auditions.
Today we saw Aayushman hosting the show instead of Bani.
GDs started as usual with the moderators letting loose a bunch of animals who would compete in shrieking and shouting so that they survive the first phase of selection.
It went quite good without having to cage any of the animals for misbehaving and a handful of them were short listed for the PI round.
Chapter II – Baazi-mar-li
Enters Charlie, 1st contestant of the PI round. She is interested in acting and displayed her skills by acting like the ghastly Kangna Ranaut of Raaz 2.
She did a pretty good job, but I believe I have acted way better than her in Paa
She got emotional when asked about the death of her mom and we saw a rare emotional scene in the PI room.
Characteristics: Confident, charming, good looking, has a nice personality.
===
Chapter III – The Angry Beast
The next person to enter the PI room was Meghna.
Meghna aspires to be a fashion photographer and is afraid of stupidity as she has been a victim of one such act by herself when she had got drunk with one full bottle of Tequila and kissed a girl.
She also tells the judges that she’s a professional kick boxer, so they put her to the Mogambo test.
I would request MTV not to show Mr. Mogambo again as my doggy gets scared of him and starts chewing my beard out of tension :|
She tries really hard and manages to do some justice to the task.
Her stare was enough to scare Cyrus
Characteristics: Short tempered, strong and kind of weird. Belongs to a rare species of Humans. I find her cute.
===
Day and night I have been waiting waiting. Are u asking for a beating?
Under your love I am fainting fainting (So am I watching this ad :|)
===
Chapter IV – The Banyan Man
When this man entered the room, I had thought that he was one of the Tarzans I had met in the jungles of Congo.
His name is Vikas and he is a Gym trainer by profession.
Vikas shows his talent by performing some weird Yoga like moves. Never before have I seen Cyrus Broacha so concerned for any interviewee as he asks Vikas “Chaddi pehna na?”
Characteristics: Saddist, Strong and a performer for sure.
Enters Charlie, 1st contestant of the PI round. She is interested in acting and displayed her skills by acting like the ghastly Kangna Ranaut of Raaz 2.
She did a pretty good job, but I believe I have acted way better than her in Paa
She got emotional when asked about the death of her mom and we saw a rare emotional scene in the PI room.
Characteristics: Confident, charming, good looking, has a nice personality.
===
Chapter III – The Angry Beast
The next person to enter the PI room was Meghna.
Meghna aspires to be a fashion photographer and is afraid of stupidity as she has been a victim of one such act by herself when she had got drunk with one full bottle of Tequila and kissed a girl.
She also tells the judges that she’s a professional kick boxer, so they put her to the Mogambo test.
I would request MTV not to show Mr. Mogambo again as my doggy gets scared of him and starts chewing my beard out of tension :|
She tries really hard and manages to do some justice to the task.
Her stare was enough to scare Cyrus
Characteristics: Short tempered, strong and kind of weird. Belongs to a rare species of Humans. I find her cute.
===
Day and night I have been waiting waiting. Are u asking for a beating?
Under your love I am fainting fainting (So am I watching this ad :|)
===
Chapter IV – The Banyan Man
When this man entered the room, I had thought that he was one of the Tarzans I had met in the jungles of Congo.
His name is Vikas and he is a Gym trainer by profession.
Vikas shows his talent by performing some weird Yoga like moves. Never before have I seen Cyrus Broacha so concerned for any interviewee as he asks Vikas “Chaddi pehna na?”
Characteristics: Saddist, Strong and a performer for sure.
Chapter V – Kamyaab Singh
Mumbai auditions was turning exciting with every passing contestant and I was all eyes on my TV while eating some chips and taking a sip of Dew every now and then.
I guess my doggy managed to steal some chips as well as I could hear crunching sound when Amritpal Singh entered the PI room.
He is the son of a stuntman and wants to attain “Kamyaabi” in life.
His long lecture on Kamyaabi and Safalta made me fall from my sofa laughing
I could now realize how a person feels while listening to my lectures on Evolution
He tries doing some mimicry as well but makes me ROFL even more =))
Judges ask him to leave before he gives another Kamyaabi and Safalta lecture convincing them why they should select him.
Characteristics: A bit boring but one of a kind. I feel we should’ve seen more of him.
===
Chapter VI – Lights, Camera, Action!
Kenneth, was the name of the next mammal to be interview.
He says he is an aspiring Director and he can be a Roadie if given a chance to be on the show.
Judges try to know more about him but he only manages to give some lip service to the judges. When asked to perform he fails miserably and still he proudly boasts that he can wrestle a crocodile
Even my doggy barks less and bites more than him. And he can wag his tail as well
Characteristics: Stubborn, arrogant and boring. “All full of words” as said by Cyrus.
===
So let’s logon to circle2corner dot com!
I got my killer jeans and I know how to wear them! Aae dekho chand!!
Mumbai auditions was turning exciting with every passing contestant and I was all eyes on my TV while eating some chips and taking a sip of Dew every now and then.
I guess my doggy managed to steal some chips as well as I could hear crunching sound when Amritpal Singh entered the PI room.
He is the son of a stuntman and wants to attain “Kamyaabi” in life.
His long lecture on Kamyaabi and Safalta made me fall from my sofa laughing
I could now realize how a person feels while listening to my lectures on Evolution
He tries doing some mimicry as well but makes me ROFL even more =))
Judges ask him to leave before he gives another Kamyaabi and Safalta lecture convincing them why they should select him.
Characteristics: A bit boring but one of a kind. I feel we should’ve seen more of him.
===
Chapter VI – Lights, Camera, Action!
Kenneth, was the name of the next mammal to be interview.
He says he is an aspiring Director and he can be a Roadie if given a chance to be on the show.
Judges try to know more about him but he only manages to give some lip service to the judges. When asked to perform he fails miserably and still he proudly boasts that he can wrestle a crocodile
Even my doggy barks less and bites more than him. And he can wag his tail as well
Characteristics: Stubborn, arrogant and boring. “All full of words” as said by Cyrus.
===
So let’s logon to circle2corner dot com!
I got my killer jeans and I know how to wear them! Aae dekho chand!!
Chapter VII – Photo-electric!
Back from the break enters the next mammal named Ameya. He’s a commercial artist and wants to be a Roadie because he couldn’t join the Army for his short height and he wants to discover himself even more.
Judges gave him a chance to discover himself inside out by giving him a task of going outside wearing only a Loin cloth and asking people to take his snap with him giving the most sensuous pose he could.
He does the task quite well but leaves me craving for similar excitement.
I wanted to click a few snaps of mine but my doggy refused to hold the camera, forget about clicking the pics :|
Characteristics: Creative, smart, a rare find.
===
Chapter VIII – Jab miya biwi razi, to kya karega Qazi?!
Next we saw the first married female contestant giving a shot at the PI round of Roadies.
Her name is Shweta and she is a Wrestler by profession.
She dwells from a sports field and her weakness is that she cannot take abuses.
Judges call her husband in the PI room to check whether she can stay without him or not. He rest assures the judges that he has no problems of her wife being selected for the journey.
Now I am pretty much sure that next year you’ll see me in the auditions.
Impossible is nothing
Characteristics: Strong and sensible, not like another young contestant.
===
Walk and talk, walk and talk, walk and talk! Wild stone, the wild effect!
Delicious vanilla ice cream flavoured man force condoms
Back from the break enters the next mammal named Ameya. He’s a commercial artist and wants to be a Roadie because he couldn’t join the Army for his short height and he wants to discover himself even more.
Judges gave him a chance to discover himself inside out by giving him a task of going outside wearing only a Loin cloth and asking people to take his snap with him giving the most sensuous pose he could.
He does the task quite well but leaves me craving for similar excitement.
I wanted to click a few snaps of mine but my doggy refused to hold the camera, forget about clicking the pics :|
Characteristics: Creative, smart, a rare find.
===
Chapter VIII – Jab miya biwi razi, to kya karega Qazi?!
Next we saw the first married female contestant giving a shot at the PI round of Roadies.
Her name is Shweta and she is a Wrestler by profession.
She dwells from a sports field and her weakness is that she cannot take abuses.
Judges call her husband in the PI room to check whether she can stay without him or not. He rest assures the judges that he has no problems of her wife being selected for the journey.
Now I am pretty much sure that next year you’ll see me in the auditions.
Impossible is nothing
Characteristics: Strong and sensible, not like another young contestant.
===
Walk and talk, walk and talk, walk and talk! Wild stone, the wild effect!
Delicious vanilla ice cream flavoured man force condoms
Chapter IX – The lonely loner
I was done finishing my chips by now and I was exchanging my set of teeth, was attaching some sharp ones to chew on some grilled steak when in entered Gaurav, the next interviewee.
He is a boxer, and studies engineering but he has flunked his 3rd year exams – so he’s still studying
This mammal is a loner and avoids making many friends as he has been back stabbed by most of them. (I wonder how he’ll survive on Roadies).
He has a best friend named Neha who is also his backup wife in case no one agrees to marry him
Judges call Neha as a surprise guest and ask Gaurav to propose to her with a toy Lobster on his hand. Nikhil concludes that both are in Love with each other.
Characteristics: Carries a nice attitude, strong but lacks mental toughness.
===
Chapter X – Life on Road hee!!
Our last contestant for the day was Kanish – 1st marwari on TV, people call him celeb wherever he goes. He is sure that he will become a Roadie in 10 years time :p
This guy’s problem is that people forbid him from becoming an actor and he wants to be one by hook or by crook, and oh!
He wants to be a Roadie as well. He wants to be a Roadie by profession! Yeah!
He faces the camera and warns everyone not to come on his way, he feels bad! He feels pwned! Poor guy!
I throw some steak on him but it bounces back from the TV screen and my dog was quick enough to catch it on mid air.
Next, Nikhil does what I had wished to do with him; he lashes out at this guy and reminds him that even the Ape which I had studied in Lab had an ambition in life which was way more sensible and amusing than his ambitions.
He replies that he will become a Roadie next year :|
Nikhil bangs his hand on the table while I bang my head on my doggy wo in turn bangs his balls on me :|
Characteristics: Irritating, stubborn, clueless about life.
I was done finishing my chips by now and I was exchanging my set of teeth, was attaching some sharp ones to chew on some grilled steak when in entered Gaurav, the next interviewee.
He is a boxer, and studies engineering but he has flunked his 3rd year exams – so he’s still studying
This mammal is a loner and avoids making many friends as he has been back stabbed by most of them. (I wonder how he’ll survive on Roadies).
He has a best friend named Neha who is also his backup wife in case no one agrees to marry him
Judges call Neha as a surprise guest and ask Gaurav to propose to her with a toy Lobster on his hand. Nikhil concludes that both are in Love with each other.
Characteristics: Carries a nice attitude, strong but lacks mental toughness.
===
Chapter X – Life on Road hee!!
Our last contestant for the day was Kanish – 1st marwari on TV, people call him celeb wherever he goes. He is sure that he will become a Roadie in 10 years time :p
This guy’s problem is that people forbid him from becoming an actor and he wants to be one by hook or by crook, and oh!
He wants to be a Roadie as well. He wants to be a Roadie by profession! Yeah!
He faces the camera and warns everyone not to come on his way, he feels bad! He feels pwned! Poor guy!
I throw some steak on him but it bounces back from the TV screen and my dog was quick enough to catch it on mid air.
Next, Nikhil does what I had wished to do with him; he lashes out at this guy and reminds him that even the Ape which I had studied in Lab had an ambition in life which was way more sensible and amusing than his ambitions.
He replies that he will become a Roadie next year :|
Nikhil bangs his hand on the table while I bang my head on my doggy wo in turn bangs his balls on me :|
Characteristics: Irritating, stubborn, clueless about life.
Conclusion
These were the different species that turned up in Mumbai and seven of them were short listed for the next round
Following were the short listed Roadies from Mumbai:-
1. Charlie:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! Her personality worked on her favour.
2. Meghna:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! This wild beast would be interesting to watch. She reminds me of a cornered cat who would not give up without fighting.
3. Vikas:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! He’ll survive in the jungle even if left alone all by himself. No prizes for guessing he’ll do well in tasks as well.
4. Amritpal:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Not Selected! Was quite a boring person, didn’t see much of him except the boring Kamyaabi and Safalta speech.
5. Ameya:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! He dreams of adding the oomph factor in the journey
But it’ll be interesting to see how he uses his creativity for survival.
6. Shweta:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! Experiments are always welcome by Darwin. Lets see how a married woman survives among a bunch of Youth.
7. Gaurav:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Nay! We get to see a lot of people like him for auditions, there wasn’t anything in him which sets him apart from them. May be his sensitive nature worked in his favour
*I turned off my TV and saw that my doggy had peed on the floor*
JIMBO!!!!!!!!
These were the different species that turned up in Mumbai and seven of them were short listed for the next round
Following were the short listed Roadies from Mumbai:-
1. Charlie:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! Her personality worked on her favour.
2. Meghna:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! This wild beast would be interesting to watch. She reminds me of a cornered cat who would not give up without fighting.
3. Vikas:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! He’ll survive in the jungle even if left alone all by himself. No prizes for guessing he’ll do well in tasks as well.
4. Amritpal:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Not Selected! Was quite a boring person, didn’t see much of him except the boring Kamyaabi and Safalta speech.
5. Ameya:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! He dreams of adding the oomph factor in the journey
But it’ll be interesting to see how he uses his creativity for survival.
6. Shweta:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Selected! Experiments are always welcome by Darwin. Lets see how a married woman survives among a bunch of Youth.
7. Gaurav:-
Judges say: Selected!
Darwin says: Nay! We get to see a lot of people like him for auditions, there wasn’t anything in him which sets him apart from them. May be his sensitive nature worked in his favour
*I turned off my TV and saw that my doggy had peed on the floor*
JIMBO!!!!!!!!
That’s it for today! Mumbai surprisingly gave us a lot of good Roadies this year and the auditions were quite enjoyable.
Having to see more of Cyrus Broacha was a big treat for us!
Next week we’ll get to see the Ride with Rannvijay round! Hoping for some hard core action!
Till then this is Darwin signing off keep reading Dar-view-nism! (Yes, those ads were sponsored )
Having to see more of Cyrus Broacha was a big treat for us!
Next week we’ll get to see the Ride with Rannvijay round! Hoping for some hard core action!
Till then this is Darwin signing off keep reading Dar-view-nism! (Yes, those ads were sponsored )
-Darwin \m/
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