Where art thou, Happiness?
Quest for happiness began when the life began on earth. Though quest for happiness is as old as life on earth, no one could
come up with a definitive answer for the question, “Where is happiness?” And no one could come up with a definitive answer for the question, ' What makes one happy.'
For some happiness is available in the house, for some It appears Happiness is everywhere. Now the million dollar question is
If happiness is everywhere why all the people on earth are not happy.
Why misery to some and Mirth to some?
Why pathos to some and pleasure to some?
Why sobs to some and why cheers to some?
If a fat bank balance can shower tons of happiness, why Michel Jackson has become a drug addict? A strong belief prevailing in society is that happiness lies in mundane accomplishments, links with highly placed higher echelon in the society. But the fact is humans have an insatiable thirst for, The Next Thing.
What’s Next thing
The moment a desire is fulfilled, we cast our eyes on another desire. If your desire to have a beautiful wife is fulfilled, a new desire crops up. Now this time to possess a beautiful home. Then possessions of different kinds. This way the chase goes on and on.
Several studies proved time and again that winning a lottery may cause an initial tide of happiness rise up to the sky, But over a period of time, the happiness descends down and the size of happiness wanes.
In a similar way a loss in limb or a permanent disability or a paraplegic condition will not cause an everlasting unhappiness.
Then what brings an everlasting happiness?
I have a plethora of experiences registered in my mind pertaining to the link between Happiness and compassion. In addition to this, several studies conducted in the international and national level convinced me that there is no joy bigger than the ‘Joy of giving.’
The term ‘Giving’ need not be always in the form of materialistic things. It may be the joy derived from giving your time. It may be the joy derived out of giving love. It may be the joy derived out of saying, ‘well done’ to a person who is pursuing success desperately. It may be the joy derived out of giving your full attention to a person who wants to share his grief with you.
What the scientific community says
We all know that when we eat our favourite dessert or when we receive money or when we hug our loved ones we experience pleasure. We feel ecstatic. We feel as if we are on cloud nine.
Where from this pleasure comes to us?
There are ‘Pleasure centers in our brain. These centers are activated during our activities like eating a sumptuous meal, seeing a breath taking painting of Ravi varma or Renoir or seeing your favorite athlete breaking a world record.
Neuroscientist Jordan Grafman proved through his brain imaging studies that the same pleasure centers are activated when we help a blind man cross a busy road.
Michael Norton, professor, Harvard business school subjected two groups of people by giving them some money. One group was asked to spend the amount on themselves and the other on others. At the end of the experiment it was found the group that spent the sum on others was found to be more happier than the other group that spent the money on themselves.
Just test this with your kid. Ask your child to give a cookie to your kid’s friend and observe them. You cannot miss that glow in the face of your kid who is a giver. According to the study conducted by Elizabeth Dunn and her colleagues says the joy derived out of giving is strikingly visible even in children.
Compassion is a many faceted Virtue
As I said at the outset of the article that compassion has a link with Happiness. This virtue has many other plusses to its credit,
Compassion broadens our outlook
Unhappiness and the connected miseries like stress, depression, shock and instability will make us think about ourselves. Its natural. When you are immensely stressed, you cannot think of any other person. At this juncture, you think of yourself. That means all your focus is directed to self. Suppose for a moment somehow you are able to turn your attention towards someone else’s problems. This is where compassion makes an entry in to the scenario. The hitherto state of self-focus will be shifted to the other person. You feel energized.
A sudden shriek of your neighbor will make you set aside all your woes and worries and makes you look towards the wall that’s separating the two flats.
What’s that force that made you look towards your neighbor’s flat? It’s compassion
Compassion makes you a head turner.
When I donated blood for an unknown person’s kid, the only thing that was in my mind was compassion. The boy was in a critical condition. The boy’s own uncle refused to give blood out of fear. After knowing the matter through a friend I offered myself as a blood donor. The boy’s life was saved after blood transfusion. An about to be extinguished life breathed again.
People gave me a heroic welcome. I have become the cynosure of all eyes. I'm elated. I’m a human being. Like all other humans I love to be loved. I love to be recognized. Compassion fulfilled my desire.
We all know how Gandhiji was revered and respected. What made him such a popular figure not only in his country but entire world. His compassion towards his fellow humans in general and Indians in particular made him return to India and fight for the cause of aggrieved. This also made him denounce his lawyer’s career for which, he has gone all the way to South Africa.
Motilal Nehru, father of Jawaharlal Nehru left behind his lucrative lawyer career. What made him throw away a luxurious life and plunge in to independence struggle ? Compassion
It becomes a big list of those great people who found happiness in compassion. They gave away everything to find happiness. Ask them whenever you feel lost and struggling to find happiness to soothe your soul.
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