The Art Of Managing with People
One, who is adept at managing with people, will become the most successful man. It’s an undeniable fact that man’s life is linked with a host of different kinds of people. Hence, if one is careful and cautious about the human relations and the nuances involved, man becomes strong and the strength thus acquired becomes a powerful fuel that drives the man to the pinnacles of glory.
Criticism is dangerous spark of fire
While dealing with people we should bear in mind that, people around us have emotions. They too undergo emotional ups and downs. Nobody is above the emotional fluctuations. People rejoice when they are happy. People are grieved when they are unhappy. If people are criticized, it causes unhappiness in them, even if they are your own kith and kin.
We need to exercise restraint before we think of criticizing people. Without any bias we should try to understand without any haste. Especially we should be very careful with children. Undue criticism will lead to negative attitude which ultimately lead to stubbornness in the children. Stubbornness will prove disastrous in the long run.
The adage, “By showing respect to the children people exhibit their greatness”, is worth remembering.
Without criticizing ruthlessly, we can express our feelings in a soft manner. For example, instead of condemning with harsh and painful words, one can say, “See if it can be said in a different manner.” I think , it can be expressed in this way also.”
If you want others to like you.
It’s a fact that everybody wants to be recognized, everybody wants to be praised. One can see the deep desire to be recognized in every human being. It’s the same desire that made our predecessors to go for many inventions due to which we are enjoying a blissful and luxurious life today. Praise their good qualities and give a pat on their shoulder wholeheartedly. Your praise should be sincere. You may not gain any materialistic reward by this. But, you are not losing anything by complementing the other person either. Rather you will gain the love and confidence of the other person.
Applicable everywhere.
Complimenting others will heap rich rewards in every place and in every walk of life. Complement your child for a good job done
and see the spark in the eyes of your child.
Complement your assistant in the office and see for yourself, how your productivity graph shoots up. In return, your assistant
finds new ways to satisfy you, by thinking of innovative methods. The same thing applies to the children to your family members.
In a nutshell, a single complement will boost the Happiness levels as well as the creative levels in any human being.
A word of caution
One has to exercise utmost caution to identify a person who really deserves a comment. A complement on an undeserving person will prove counterproductive. The person on whom you showered an undue complement will use it in a negative way. Or
he may become complacent which results in far more destructive consequences.
You need not worry about your enemy. But be careful about a person who praises you.
The very essence of success lies in the fact, that you are not the only person with an attitude of your own. Others too will have their own attitude.
Wisdom lies in understanding other’s attitude. And respecting their attitude. And this is the secret of success.
Show your interest in others, if you want Others should show interest in you.
This is as simple as that. Just give and take. Suppose, you are talking with a person for the first time. Take care not to bombard your own merits and your own virtues on the new friend. Set aside your own interests for some time. Instead show lot of interest n your just found friend.. Your keenness will generate lot of interest in your friend. And that friend will be anxious to know about your own interests.
Know that this type of interest generated between two people will evolve in to a long time relationship.
Maintain a journal
Maintaining a journal is one of the key tools, every aspiring achiever should possess.
Pick up a few friends; name and note down their personal data like Birthdays or any special events linked with them. Wish them on those particular important dates.
This lays a strong foundation for a sturdy relationship.
Sweetest thing in the world.
Dale Carnegie says, "Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any
language."
Imagine, while you are walking on the road, you hear someone calling you by your name. The first feeling that takes place in your mind is one of astonishment. You will be wondering, who on earth is calling you in this far off place. And the second feeling will be an overwhelming joy.
This is certainly a clue to develop the art of ’Managing with the people.’
Did you ever mark, how people react, if they are addressed by their names? Psychologists say, people like anyone who calls them by name. They say such act will create an invisible link of affection between the two persons involved. And it’s also true how people will be offended, if their name is wrongly spelt.
Sir Winston Churchill, refused to reply an official letter, simply because his name was wrongly spelled. . It says, to what extent, people are enamored with their names.
Remember to remember the names of those who are closely associated with you in the office or in the neighborhood.
President Roosevelt was well known for remembering the names of the people around him.
Your speech weaves a magic spell.
The Art of managing with the people and the art of speaking are closely related. Speech experts say by using proper modulations in the voice any tense situation can be diluted with wonderful results. Here is an example.
My friend’s fury reached its peak when he has seen his 5 year old boy returned from the school crying with a bleeding injury on the boy’s forehead. He took out his bike and reached the school where the junior was studying. He met the class teacher of his son and started arguing at the top of his voice, blaming squarely the school management’s negligence due to which, his son sustained injuries.
Hearing the noisy arguments of the teachers and my friend, the principal entered and after knowing the situation, invited my
friend and the teachers to his room. And in a cool soothing voice said, “Sorry gentleman for whatever happened, and I assure
you on behalf of my school and staff that such things will not repeat in future.”
Suddenly, the heat in the room cooled down. My friend himself felt, that he was a bit rash. He offered apologies for creating a bad scene.
What do you think is the reason behind this sudden transformation?
The principal’s timely action of using a soothing voice instead of harsh argumentative voice saved the situation. It’s also clear that any rough and ugly situation can be brought back to normalcy with an appropriate speech sprinkled with melodious modulations.
Be away from Arguments.
Every human thinks that his/ her point of view is right and others are wrong. This mentality forms the basis for arguments. The best argument is that which seems like a harmless explanation. Its mere foolishness on the part of people who argue that looks like a fierce fight.
I know an incident where in a customer brought a broken toy to a shop where he purchased and demanded a replacement. I was there in the shop. The way in which the customer entered the shop indicated that a big fight was in the offing. But to the utter astonishment of all the people including me, the owner said, “ Oh, its ok. Please leave the toy here and leave your phone number. We send the toy to the manufacturers and ask them for a compensation or a replacement as the case may be. Care to have some coffee?”
A screen of silence has fallen over the scenario. The customer was left with nothing to utter even a word against the shop owner. I could not but appreciate the timely tactics of the shop owner who prevented an ugly incident. This is exactly what
everybody is supposed to do.
A Cynosure of all eyes.
Now you must have observed, the art of managing with the people involves Patience, not expertise. Remember one who knows
the secret of Managing with the people can command the respect of all.
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