A state of hesitation, doubt and fear.

For those who are at the threshold of 20s, it’s that phase of life, where uncertainty rules the roost. It’s the stage, where confusion hovers around the minds of this lot. This lot is not aware about what lies ahead of them. They are like people who grope for the things in the darkness. They cannot decide what’s good for them. They neither care for Peer suggestions.

The other day, I happened to meet a group of youngsters who are all in the age group of  20 years or about to reach their 20s. During my interaction, I asked each one of them questions like, what they were doing or what they are contemplating to do in their life ahead.

I could see that unmistakable expression of ‘Boredom’ in their faces. Most of them preferred to stay silent. Then, I changed the color of my questions. I asked a plethora of questions about ‘Movies’. Immediately, the response was spontaneous and overwhelming. Almost all wanted to speak and express their opinions on Movies.

I was sad. I asked myself, why a talk about what one want to do met with a cold response. Why the subject of one’s future plans and ambitions was looked down? Should such discussions be the most exciting?

Then it hasn’t taken much time to get an answer for my questions.

Lack of direction.

Lack of direction leaves a crippling effect on an individual. Many advise from their point of view. But your point of view is different. Lack of direction has a profound impact on those who lack their own point of view. They look in that direction that was pointed by some. The very next moment they shift their view to another direction pointed by yet some other. In this regard society is the biggest culprit. It creates an impression that life is a magical machine. Just drop your degree in the slot. Immediately from the other end of the machine you will get a ‘Lucrative Job.’

This is the wrong impression created by the society in the minds of the youngsters. Being led by this impression youngsters think, its enough to add a degree in the subject in which they were good at in the high school. They will be building their dreams around their subject in which they are good at.

Did it ever occur to them, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." 

When you are going to make progress? 

Progress and real improvements do not come,if you are rigid. You should be flexible enough to opt for different choices and options. Only this flexibility enables you to get different results. Stagnation will never appear. It all amounts to the fact that being flexible you are equipping yourself with not a single weapon but with many weapons to face the life.

Other reasons for being in a state of confusion during your 20s.

Your inability to take advantage of opportunities in your 20s.

During 20s and earlier, many allow the opportunities fizzle out. You live in a state of complacency. You will be under the influence of the thought, ‘I’m in the right path. I took up the subject in which I’m good at as my Major in my degree. No fears. My future will be good.’ 

This is the fatal mistake many youngsters commit. You took up a subject in which you are good at. So far so good. But are you passionate about it? Having a high goal is not enough. You should be able to get your goals with distinction.

Recognizing your truest Self.

Most of the students who are in their 20s, say proudly, ‘I’m doing what My parents want me to do.’ Or. ‘I’m doing what I’m good at doing.’ 

Every one of us is born with a mission. To put it simply, we are born to do a specific job with all the infrastructure necessary to perform what we are supposed to do. This is the most important factor one has to address and to follow it with passion. Follow  it with such a grip and grit that you never feel tired of it.

You have two options.

The first option is to live your own life in all its totality.

The second option is to follow the diktats of the world’s hypocrite demands.

What do you want to chase?

Imagine, you inherited a huge fortune from a distant uncle. The features of your life in the days to follow depend on the decision you take after inheriting huge fortune from your uncle. Because, as I said at the outset that you are presently in your 20s. And you will be in a fix to decide what to do and what not to do. There are many chances of opting for an easy life. Now that you are the owner of Millions, you will easily fall in to the trap of leading a carefree life. 

Answer my question.

You may ask, why I’m insisting on your answer. Your response will point out towards what type of life you are going to settle in in the remaining part of your life. Depending on your answer I can fore tell if your life is going to be a blissful life or turbulent life. Also I can foretell if your life is going to be a joyous life or miserable life.

Remember mere possession of cartful of money is not an assurance for a carefree and joyous life. Money can buy everything but happiness. 

Have a look at this famous quote attributed to unknown source.

  • money can buy you a bed but not sleep.
  • money can buy you a clock but not time.
  • money can buy you a book but not knowledge. 
  • money can buy you a position but not respect.
  • money can buy you medicine but not health. money can buy you blood but not life 
  •  money can buy you sex - but not love.”

Putting the money in a wise way.

I’m not saying money is a dreadful evil. Just think if you don’t need to do any job, with what you are going to fill your days with? What you want to achieve?

Once a man after his death was given a choice to select Hell or heaven. The man asked the god, ‘Oh God, before I select Hell or heaven I would like to know what’s heaven and what is Hell from you.’The god replied, ‘Oh Mortal,  Heaven is all enjoyment and Happiness. No work at all.Hell is all punishments, tortures and work, work work from Dawn to Dusk.”

Then the man replied, ‘Oh God Almighty, please grant me Hell;’

The astonished god asked, ‘Why Hell?’

The man replied, ‘What’s a life without work, my God? Please grant me Hell.’

The above conversation may be a fiction, but it mirrors truth.

So, Find a way to convert  your passion in to a career or something that the Society benefits. There lies your happiness.

Don’t use the future to escape from the Present.

Thinking about future will certainly necessary and it’s helpful. But while thinking about future sacrificing the Present is undesirable. It means you are living in the future, without a base. This results in dreaming sans purpose. 

Imagine what do you do if you plan a holiday tour. A tour that’s going to take place in future needs some groundwork, like reservation for your journey, staying arrangements that suits your budget so on and so forth.  These arrangements which are to be done in the present are being neglected. 

“You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” – John Green.

A wise saying goes thus. ‘Don’t live to be happy. Be happy while living. ‘

Safety and security for you. 

No parent will plan a future life plan for their children sans security and Safety. But they may not be exactly in tune with the child’s dormant aspirations. This can be understood. All children may not exhibit or reveal their dormant skills in a full form so that the parent can take a clue and plan a future plan that suits the child’s inner spark.

Many parents, owing to many conditions  like taking the children for granted, having a mindset of treating children as children even after they attain teenage. This trait in parents will lead them nowhere.

Now it’s time for you to take charge.

In such conditions when you feel that things are not happening in the way you expected, initiate a cordial interaction with your parents. Listen to them and make them listen to you. Remember that It’s not new to have differences with one’s parents. This is a healthy sign that points out to the fact that you are coming of age.

What type of friends you have?

Are your friends with whom you move contribute to your development? Or distract you to divert from your goals?

This is the most important factor youngsters ignore. At this age of yours, when there is uncertainty and confusion and lack of direction rule the roost, it’s of utmost importance to distinguish the factors related to your Development boosters and Development  suppressors.

In this respect friends have an important role in boosting or suppressing your development. Association with good company will boosts your chances to grow up. The association of good friends will lead you like a Mariner’s compass in to right direction.

If you discuss about a good book and the finer aspects of it with your pals, you are in the right company.

If you spend hours embezzling the precious time bestowed on you with the hope you would utilize in a productive way by the god, by indulging in TV viewing, playing computer games or sticking to the Face Book with your close friends, you are in the bad company.

Remember to move in to a company of those friends who are already there where you wanted to go, longed and dreamed to reach. 

Remember also to be in the company of those who encourage you to fulfill your dreams and give way to you, not block your way.

All ladders are not worth ascending.

Ladders are meant for ascending. So far so good. But did you ever think that the ladder before you takes you to the place you want to reach?

This happens in this age group that is at the cross roads of life. Wisdom lies in choosing the right ladder that takes you to the place which you cherished. Nobody will bring you ladder. Help yourself.

Be ravenous.

When it comes to development of self, it’s advised to be ravenous. Being content with what one achieved and put an end to reach the extreme fringes of excellence is nothing but a foolish act. It’s a hindrance to your progress. And sooner than later, you find you are overtaken by all and sundry. Here what’s needed is ‘A killer instinct’. 

If you succeeded in scaling the peak of a highest mountain in your neighborhood, go in search of another mountain’s peak that was higher than the peak which you had already scaled. Celebrate what you have accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed. 

School is not the only place to learn.

Many youngsters who are at the cross roads of their life, will think, learning comes to an end after schooling is over. After obtaining a Master’s degree. This is a fallacy.

Life is the greatest and eternal source for learning. The best part of it is, it offers knowledge according to your growth in age. Read books written by great authors. They are one of the greatest source of learning. Books written by the great authors are the encapsulated knowledge of those creators who experienced the real conditions of life and gave to the posterity. Books are much cheaper than the training schools and institutions. They are at your disposal, ready with their knowledge.

The secret is doing with passion. Putting all the resources at your disposal together. This single minded dedication to acquire knowledge will take you to the places.

Don’t be in a hurry.

Everything has time to happen. Everything happens in its own time. you can’t rush  in making a thing happen if it’s not it’s time. Can you make a green mango ripen in a day? Can you make a babe come out of its mother’s womb before its schedule of full nine months?

Youngsters often expect instant results. Owing to their urgency, things tend to work in an unproductive way, ultimately leading to failures. Youngsters unable to bear such setbacks give up. If you are really interested in making the things happen, give your best and allow it to happen taking its own time.

One can only see clearly

When one is going slowly

Quick motion creates a life-blur.-Terri Guillemets.

Nothing is forever.

When one is in teens, there is every likelihood  of forming wrong beliefs which on the long run prove to be severe impediments to Progress and development. Many youngsters are carried away by the wrong conception that, excellence attained in a field is going to give them a cutting edge above all for a life time. It’s far from truth. 

We have been seeing how yesterday’s record in a sports event that was hailed as ‘Unbeatable’ has broken today.

When Roger Banister  intended to set a record in running one mile under 4 minutes, all sports experts and Pundits laughed at him. They said, ‘It’s humanly impossible to run a mile in a time less than 4 minutes.

But Sir Roger Gilbert Bannister did not leave. He believed that Nothing is forever and everything has to change even if it’s a record in running the mile below 4 minutes. He ran. He proved that ‘Nothing is forever. Today running a mile under 4 minutes has become a common achievement.

Now think, had Roger Banister did not try to run the mile race, we would have lost a world class sportsman.Youngsters should bear in their minds that they should not take the things for granted. They should be on the lookout for latest things and get updated constantly to be in the reckoning.

Count your Blessings.

Youth, when they are at the cross roads take a route which they feel the route they took serves their purpose to advance in their life. Unfortunately, most of these decisions prove to be wrong decisions. This wrong decision is the result of inability to know their own niche and sharpening them to their advantage. Generally, at this stage of life, youth underestimate their own inherent talents with which they were born. Rather, they direct all their endeavors to emulate other’s traits. This is nothing but height of ignorance.

Everyone of us is blessed with qualities and traits which are unique to ourselves. Wisdom lies in knowing your own niche and following it with passion

Don’t hesitate to start.

We are aware of the adage ‘Even a thousand miles journey begins with a single step.’ It says in no uncertain terms what one is required to  do to proceed on to achieve one’s cherished goals. Even for quenching your thirst, one has to go to the water container and fetch the water in a glass. It’s implied that if you don’t  take the required steps you cannot quench your thirst.

Many of the youngsters hesitate to take this most important step of taking the initiative and indulge in waiting. Thus losing the precious time. Taking the initiative , irrespective of the outcome alone is the way to realize one’s dreams.

Fear of failure, laziness are two of the reasons for one’s failure. Come what may shed off fear and proceed further. This is the panacea for success.


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