Why is the old-age home ever needed
Why do we need old-age homes? Are we treading too fast on modernity that our age old values are eroding much faster than we can imagine. Today world is evolving fast and with every new sunrise there is this new techonology invented that claims to make our life much easier. Earlier hardships used to be the commmon thing but today techonolgy has blessed people with such comforts that earlier generation could not have ever imagined. Earlier when someone needed to travel to another country, it used to be a big thing and he would be followed by thousands of advices and precautions. It used to be almost a week to a month long affair to reach another country, while today it is just a matter of boarding your flight and you reach your destination in couple of hours. So our life is much more easier in comparison to our ancestors. But has this technological progress made us more of in human and our values for which we stood for are now fogotten. If not, then why is it so that our elders have to get themselves registered in old-age homes.
why is it that more and more old-age homes are coming up, everyday you would find an advertisement in newspapers or on internet about opening of new old age home. Why is it that we, the children have failed in our duty to take care of our older generation? When we saw the first sunrise in our lives, we held the hands of those whom we call parents and elders. But why is it that when they are in their retiring years, they don't find us anywhere near to them.
Parents who taught us the worldly ways, who gave us home and shelter and made us learn the lesson of love and compassion are today facing difficulties inliving their lives with peace. Parents bring up their children in best possible ways and despite any troubles they undergo, they never show it to their children. In poverty stricken homes, parents go to work without lunch or go to sleep without dinner but would never let their child go empty stomach. Parents dedicate their youth and golden years of their lives for raising up their kids. But how heart aching is that to know, the same parents are considered added responsibility when tables turn and children grow up to become care takers of the house. Alternative residential homes are looked out for aged parents who don't bring additional income to home and also would be needed to look after. However big the house may be but there won't be a single room where the aging parent can spend last years of their lives.
What do you think what are the probable factors for this?
First and foremost is the generation gap
Generation gap is not a new phenomenon, it has been existing here in this world since ages. But earlier, out of respect and psychological conditioning, children did not revolt against the age old ideas of their parents. Either they would accept dominance of older generation with silence and would follow them or would find out alternative ways to fullfill their wishes without calling for wrath of elders. But today, kids when grow up are very well aware of their likes and dislikes and have clear cut picture in their mind of what they want and where they would not give up, no matter what. so basically,over dominance and stubborness of older generation is forcing this new generation to go against them and when things don't work out well between both the generations then the ugly picture of old-age homes emerges.
New Lifestyle
World has changed and mostly for good. But with changing world,one thing that has undergone a high amount of transition is our lifestyle. Today lifestyle of youth has changed a lot. So there are many age old values of living a perfect life which now does not stand true. Example- " Early to rise and early to sleep, makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise", this is something we all have been brought up on but now people work till late nights, people working in night shifts like in call centre and elsewhere, we can't expect them to get up and welcome the day with sunrise, practically this may not be feasible as well as advisable for health. So homes where elders live they can't stand this indiscipline and this leads to clash between both generations.We can even consider our eating habits that has met a huge change in last few years. Fast food and many other options are available today for consumption.
And though our elders are right that we should not be eating out and we should avoid junk food, it may not be possible to adhere to this sincerly. And this also may lead to clash when younger generation fails to understand that it is for their good that the elders are asking them to keep away from health deteriorating food habits.
Shortage of time
Earlier people had less comforts and less luxuries but had time to spend with their loved ones. India, being country of festivals, we celeberate eachfestival with great fervour and enthusiasm and it was considered time for family reunion. But today there is high demand on proffesional level and one cannot afford it to be laid back in his efforts. At work place if you are on leave for a day your work suffers and someone else does it for you, takes away the credit and walks away with cake called "promotion". So everyone today is busy with earning money and getting promotions, where does one have time forfamily?. And when during festivals people get holidays, they would want to pursue their hobby or would like to spend their vacations in some exotic destinations instead of spending it at home with everyone.
But younger generation should stop and give this a thought, at the end of day all that matters is a family. When we come back from hard day at work and find our family members waiting for us, that instantly fills our mind with joy, isn't it?.. And all this hard work we put ion is not just for our sake but for all those whom we love and what would be the meaning of all this sweat if you cannot spend few moments of the day with people who mean world to you.
And for elders of the family, has it not always been the older generation that is known as wiser generation? Then why do this wiser generation fail to understand that after hard work, it is a simple fun loving vacation is what your children deserve. Can you not be wise enough to know it and accept it?
Expectations, expectations and expectations
There is no end to human desire, more you do, more is expected from you. Both the generations have some unreasonable expectations from each other. Sometimes it is dfficult to meet expectations of either party and things turn to be sour.
Though it is not wrong to expect from your children but just because you did brought them up and made them what they are today does not give you the right to dictate their lives, you can't emotionally blackmail them by making them count your obligations on them everyday. How wrong it is to ask for yourcompensation for all you did for them and help them grow up to be successful and respected human being in society.
Similarly is it not the duty of younger generation to look after their elders? When they have given you their youth and have brought you up in a way where you have been able to carve out a niche for yourself in this world, is it not the right time now to show them how much you love them and care for their well being?
Time to introspect
However, it would be wrong to blame only the younger generation for this new concept of old-age home where finances is what all you need to check for yourparents, rest of all is taken care of by others who have no blood relation with them. Today,if the youngsters are craving for freedom and do not want anyadditional responsibility in their lives, older generation too seems to be adamant and is not ready to accept that changes are bound to occur with time.
Lastly, I think it is time for introspection.Did you treat your parents well enough for your son to treat you well?. Do you think as a son you met yourduties in a very satisfied manner?. If you are asked to rate yourself on being good to your parents, what would you say? Are you satisfied with your behaviour when you were young? If, answer to all this questions are not absolutely yes and even if one questions answers in negative format then how can you expect your son to behave so nicely when he hasn't seen it coming from you ever.
If you want to dictate the house, gone are the days when your son would take your orders lying down. And don't blame him for that because it is you, whotaught him to resist against any wrong pressures. All your life, your son has been growing up looking at you. You have been the role model for him, so forsure you need to introspect. If you think you are stubborn and you don't want to change your mind because whatever you think is correct than do you think your son would learn the meaning of being open-minded? When you exhibit stubborness, why do you feel, your son should not?
Let us all find a mid-way and sometimes do not hesitate to give up our wishes for a bigger good called "union of the family". Respect parents and give them the love, care and compassion they deserve else be prepared for the same treatement being metted out to us by our children. Choice is ours!
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