An Interview with Road Digger
Nowadays, everywhere you can see roads are getting dug up for better improvements and better utilization of roads, this is what common people like u and me feel. Let us see the other side of what we feel. Following is the interview or you may say, a conversation that took place between a interviewer and road digger. It goes somewhat like this...
Que 1: Why are all roads being dug up?
Ans: Well, there are two reasons for that. First is , we want people to feel that their tax money is being well spent. and secondly, we want people to get stuck in traffic jams for 22 hours, instead of 14 hours.
Getting to hear this from road digger, Interviewer got stupefied.
Que 2: Why do you want people to get stuck into traffic jams for a longer time?
Ans: We want them to spend quality time with their drivers or co-passengers, if they are travelling by bus. We have been receiving complaints from people that their stop comes just when they are getting to know the person sitting next to them.
Another question underwent like this
Que 3: What about people who drive their own cars?
Ans: They can play snake on their cell phones or catch up on their reading. As you know, no one reads anymore, we have become a nation of couch tomatoes.
Que 4: Potatoes..... you mean.
Ans: Yes Potatoes, I always get confused. Anyway, the point is , we've stopped reading. In fact, if you look at the recent UN report on India, 94% of people think Donald Rumsfeld is a cocktail.
Que 5: why not build more libraries or parks instead?
Ans: We did think about it, but decided on digging roads instead because its cheaper. Its also more fun. Sometimes we leave manhole open and watch people fall in it. As somebody falls into manhole, it becomes BREAKING NEWS on most of the news channels.
Que 6: Isn't it against law, to read while you are on the wheel?
Ans: Yes, it is, but we are talking to the concerned authorities to overturn the law, which will allow people to read and drive at the same time.
Que 7: Won't that cause accidents?
Ans: Yes
Que 8: So the roads are not dug up to fix a water pipe, a cable line or lay a new road?
Ans: Hahahaha.... ofcourse not. We tell the workers to pretend they're fixing a water pipe or act like are laying a new road. If you've noticed, the road looks far worse after the digging is over. That should tell you something.
Que 9: How do you decide which roads to dig?
Ans: It's simple. We pick those roads which are in perfectly good condition.
Que 10: Is there a particular month which is best for digging roads?
Ans: Yes. December is the best month because it's the beginning of winter and people tend to get lonely in buses during winter.
Que 11: Some people might argue that building flyovers goes against what you're trying to achieve.
Ans: They're wrong. If you've noticed, we always build flyovers where they are not needed.
Que 12: Lastly, are there any books you recommend for reading when one is stuck in a traffic jam?
Ans: Yes, I recommend my omnibus, which contains my last three books. 'The Comprehensive Guide to Road Digging', ' History of the Shovel' and 'How to live with Diabetes'.
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