Glacier
"Why has she asked me to meet her now?"
I must have told it loudly the man sitting next to me in the crowded compartment started at me. I am too much immersed in my thoughts to give him an explanation.
I had almost forgotten her existence as she was living in my thoughts I had created a world of her's and mine.
It was three years back she had left me choosing a stable life over a life of dream and vision.
It was six years back that we had met.
Gagana dalli iruva tarajyothi neenathe…..
Ninagoskara bhoomiya mele kayuvaa nayana nananthe
Shapavendara yellaruu ninna omme nodalu katuradinda kayuvaa ee nayana galigee
Illa aduu punya venduuu kayatalle ittu eee nanna nayanagaluuu…eekshnada varegu
These were the first words I told her as soon as I saw her in the trekking camp I was 23 then a young dreamy graduate and she was my junior in college whom I had never spoken to (admired though) till now.
She didn’t understand it as it was in kannada a south Indian language. I thought for a second when something is expressed from the depth of heart it should be understood. But still then I translated it to her
You are the one who shines like a bright star in the sky
I am the eye waiting to see you on the earth
People told it is a curse to my eye to have to wait for you
I told it was boon and continued to wait…till this moment
She stared at me for a few seconds later walked away from me. After 2 days we were the best pair in the whole camp (we had come to save the glassier).
She used to often search for something in my eyes. Whenever we were talking or me giving a speech to the group she used to do it. I used to like it sometimes but most of the times I thought she wanted more from our relationship which I was never able to figure out till the day the camp was about to end.
We had never thought about society, marriage or children. Suddenly everything became important and she wanted me to meet her parents. I tried reiterating the common goal we had in life to make the world a better place to live. But she wanted our world to be the best place. We went back to city. Met each other’s parents. We could not be without each other so started living together sans marriage. This was the only topic we used to differ.
I was very busy with the N.G.O coordinating with government officers and social activists that I almost forgot about us. She kept on reminding but I kept on postponing. I never realized that that day would come where she just left the nest forever.
My eyes were searching again. I wrote to her several times but she never responded. I told her finally that she might think marriage is important for society’s sake but, I think we are already married and I will live with her thoughts.
I had no interest not time for another lady as I already had a lady. I lived my life for the next three years like that. I used to buy her favorite ice cream, jalebi with chatni, jasmine flowers, pay my bills regularly, keep the house clean, and eat only home made food. Each and every tiniest thing that she was particular about was done by me as if she was with me. I had almost forgotten that she was somewhere else. Till I got this letter with the lines…..
Gagana dalli iruva tarajyothi neenathe…..
Ninagoskara bhoomiya mele kayuvaa nayana nananthe
Shapavendara yellaruu ninna omme nodalu katuradinda kayuvaa ee nayana galigee
Illa aduu punya venduuu kayatalle ittu eee nanna nayanagaluuu…eekshnada varegu
I was angry. First because she left me. Second she was alone going through all the difficulties all by herself. More than anger I was eager to meet her. I was ready to marry her much against my ideologies…….
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