The frightening solitude
“I want to die before you.” She said looking into his eyes. He didn’t answer her. His silence said it all. His solitude frightened him more than anything else in the world. His children were big now and their own kids to look after. The old age had caught up with him like the layers of dust on a light bulb, which blocked the light coming out from that old bulb. He had lived his life. His children gave him almost everything except the love, which he had given them in abundance when they were young.
“What’s the matter? Can’t you sleep?” She asked, “ Do you have pain?” “No, I just can’t sleep.” He replied looking at her.“Are you worried about what I told you this evening?” She asked.“Yes..I’ve no one, but only you. Even if I loose you then what’s the point in living?” He asked.
She started talking to him, but he was lost in his own thoughts. She was his only person who kept him away from his solitude. She used to talk about many things, which meant nothing. But he just listened to her…her voice. She would ask in the middle of the night, whether he was awake? If he answered her then she would start talking endlessly, and he would give signs now and then to say that he was listening. This tiny room was their world. He realized in the consuming loneliness of this crowded house. She was his only sound. He was so dependent on her for almost everything in life. She brought him milk, food, newspaper, medicine and anything he wanted. Many times before he would ask for it. She understood him so well. She was the only wall between him and his frightening solitude. He also knew soon this wall may collapse and the solitude would swallow him like the waves of the greedy sea.he had infinite time to think about the memories of his life lived. But how long would he rewind and play the same cassette again and again in his mind.
“Tell me?” She asked.
“Yes?” He said.
“What would you do after I’m gone?” She asked.
“What do you scare me like this?” He asked, “ I can’t live even a moment without you in this world and you know it too well.”
“Ha, you’re still romantic.” She teased him.
“I will leave as soon as you leave.” He said.
“How? will you bribe death to take you along with me or what?” She asked.
“Wait and see, what I’ll do.” He replied.
Next day night, he showed her a small bottle and it contained some liquid.
“What is it?” She asked him curiously.
“Poison!” He said smiling at her.
“Poison? Why do we need it? We don’t have any rats to kill in our room, do we?” She said.
“Stupid. It’s not for rats! It’s for me!”
“For you?” She asked shocked.
“Yes, I’m going to empty it down my throat as soon as you leave your body,” He told her.“ Now, let me see where you’ll go leaving me alone.”
“Don’t you want to live?” She asked.
“Live? What for?” He said. “Can I hug you?”
“Come on, don’t be romantic…that too in this age,” She teased him. “ Now..close your eyes and go to sleep.”
“O.k.” He said with a sigh.
Next day morning, the two daughter-in-laws giggled as they walked towards their room. Then:-
“You know, I wonder why he still needs her at this age…why can’t he leave her alone..” Said the first daughter-in-law knocking on the door. There was no response.
“Let’s open it!” said the second daughter-in-law pushing the doors forward. They saw them laying in each others arms.
“See how romantic they are in this age.” Giggled the first daughter-in-law.
“Yes..what is that bottle?’ She said.
“Which bottle?” She asked.
“That bottle!” She said pointing her finger towards the empty bottle in the hand of the old lady.
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