Keep your marrige intact
Complications in married life
Monty and Rita are both working as software engineers in big multinational companies at senior management posts with high salary and living standard. They are married for almost two years after seeing each other for more than eight months with outings almost every day after working hours. However, their relations codes seem to be changing a little since the virus of usual social networking has entered in to their life. The main issue of their strained relation is nothing else but the passwords of their different online accounts. Rita is suspicious about Monty’s affairs and wants all his passwords.
Actually Rita is not satisfied the way Monty is treating her the way he used to treat her until recently, which made Rita suspicious as she wanted Monty to share every detail of his life as he used to share it before and after marriage for an year or so. Monty says that the workload has changed the situation and since he is getting lesser time because he has been promoted and given added responsibilities, he is not having enough time to share small details with Rita, which, Rita is finding otherwise and that prompted her to ask about passwords of Monty’s Facebook and Orkut etc.
This has become a common story
I know there is nothing serious and Monty is having no affair that he should hide from Rita. Nevertheless, the main problem that has become common to make couples worried and resulting in strained relations and even separations, is the use of prolonged use of social networking sites. They open their laptops as soon as they find a few minutes to spare in place of spending some quality time with each other.
Rita is not comfortable with Monty’s casual approach the way he is not sharing his password wit Rita. Rita even accused him on his face that he was having an affair with some one else. Monty tried to laugh her out taking it casually but Rita was keen to now his password in any case to see his accounts for herself. Monty wasn’t feeling sharing his passwords although he had nothing to hide but he thought he had his own life and right of privacy.
I am one who has a firm trust in sharing secrets of partners without any hitch. I know passwords of my wife’s accounts and she knows mine although we never interfere or open each other accounts unless there is a serious need or with permission while unavoidable due to circumstances. Some times, we must open each other’s account to share some information with each other’s friends who are known to us but not in our common list.
These are small things on the face value but matter much in the end; these small shares increase our confidence level. Although this is not reasonable but many people check emails and other networking accounts of their partners just to make sure that there is nothing wrong. Some of them find it out that their spouses are cross checking them because accounts settings can show you the visitors on your accounts. This may lead to big and complicated quarrel and strained relations in almost twenty-five percent cases due to misunderstanding from either side.
Marriage is all about trust
What I feel is that marriage is a trust where you have to have faith on your partner without a question unless proved otherwise. If every small thing would make you suspicious and lead to quarrel then this relation won’t last long and ultimately push you to separation. You may regret later but then it would be too late, because this is your own baby whom you brought to this word.
Actually, our marriage is a wonderful forte that is based on the foundation of our trust and if trust is missing from the relation, there is no way the dream palace we are staying in happily would remain intact. There is no need of asking passwords unless your partner is willing to share them with you as per his/her own choice. If any of them have a secret to keep, let them do it. If you trust your partner, this would make no big difference even if you find it out. My take is on present and future, past is not my way. I want to remain faithful forever and have my full trust in my partner. Therefore passwords make no differences.
Married life is different
Marriage is all about confidence and trust in each other and nothing can shake it. Marriage is like perfect bonding, adhesive that keeps relations glued to perfection. If you ever find that glue being diluted or trust giving way to doubts your life would never be same therefore make sure that you do trust your partner for every small thing that is taking place around. There are many housewives who are well educated and techno savvy and they know how to use modern gadgets and online sites to keep connected. Trust me they know how to handle online bullies as well.
They mostly use these sites to keep in touch with relatives, friends and to know the world better. They are curious to learn about newer going-on in different fields. It is true about their male counterparts as well; they are busy with their friends, male or female from their college time to previous companies. This does not mean that if they contacted with their old classmates or ex-coworkers, they did any thing wrong. There is nothing to worry about such small matters.
Transparency is all right
I know transparency is a wonderful ingredient of married life but up to a limit. Some times you may hit your partner’s feeling hard being to transparent. Suppose you had a relation before marriage and you want to share it with your spouse that is perfectly all right, d it, by all means. However do you really need to go in graphic details of how you spent those magic moments while you two were alone for a few hours in a room? I am more than sure that sharing those moments would lead you to define trouble beyond your imaginations. That is your past, keep it locked. Look forward.
You can share your present with your spouse without any hitch as far as your comfort level allows you to but I don’t think mere passwords are that big of criteria that would strain your relations. Every one needs his or her space and privacy and only when we become too possessive such things may take place. What I feel that more we become possessive more pain it gives therefore, this is must to have some breathing space. This is best to know each other best without going too deep; there is so much to share apart your passwords. As the saying goes ‘leave them to themselves despite going deep in each other’. That is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world about knowing every thing despite knowing nothing that gives you pain.
We can stay like friends
Oh that is wonderful a friend in your spouse, we share most of our secrets with our true friends but no passwords please. We can treat our spouses like our friends with whom we share a lot. Although husbands and wives do not fall in the same category as the friends do after a certain limit but as far passwords are concerned we can always keep them to ourselves unless not must.
You see this is such a fast life that is making our life so complicated with so many other problems those have no end. We always find a new problem taking shape before we are through with the previous one. There is another simple way to sort out problems in between husband and wife. A simple communication can straighten most matters without complications taking deeper roots. Communication definitely enhances your comfort level and every thing becomes so smooth.
Sit together and sort it out
The best way to sort out the problems in between husband and wife is to sit together and share your views, I am sure you would reach to a definite conclusion for yourself without much of a problem. If you have been doing so lately, you must have found it out that there was nothing easier than this while solving a problem. Moreover, yes, the technology may help you in this as well; try to communicate with your spouse on phone, Facebook or SkyP if you are too busy in your work places.
If there is love in between you two and if you are going to share every little detail with each other there is no way small problems like those that passwords are going to be any problems in between you two. Lear to keep your marriage going well because this is one relation that would make you happy whole of your life Most of the pairs today are too tensed on smaller things without thinking about the consequences of their misdoings, which can be sorted out with very little efforts.
Just give it another thought; if you would find such small matters so big then how are you going to enjoy bigger things in your life? How are you going to keep the promise that you did while tide the sacred knout. Although this is your personal choice but what I feel is that if your spouse wants your password, give it there is nothing to worry as long as you have confidence in each other. That is one of the smallest beginnings of a big relation, a very sweet one.
Please Note- Names are changed and any similarities would be per chance only.
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