Value of adjustment
We should learn the value of adjustment
There is no second opinion about the fact that people tend to stress too fast due to life style of the present age. The life itself has become too fast to make almost every one feel the heat of it and becoming a victim of stress. You can hear every one or any one having some thing to say the problems they are having with their coworkers, relatives or even friends.
The situation seems to be getting out of hands up to extent that most people having such problems are almost on the verge of depressed state. What we do not understand at the beginning that a lack of proper care to find a solution for such small stresses, which take place due to lack of understanding initially. Therefore this is wise to not to ignore small problems, which are root causes of bigger problems to come and become critical.
Here are few examples - which are self-explanatory
I know a girl, who got married recently, say about five months back who was a very good mannered, cheerful and smart daughter before marriage in every sense. However, the atmosphere of her husband’s home is so very different from her own parent’s house that she felt tensed from the third day itself. You may find it small problem but for Rimy the girl in question this was too big. She was used to getting up at eight in the morning at her parents and here at in-laws’ every one was up by five in the morning.
This sounds such a small problem for us when we hear that a girl faces stress just because she could not manage to wake up at five in place of eight. True, she should have tried but she rather chooses to be some one ranting about it and making it a big problem. Even the food and life style that was different from her parents’ house stressed her a lot and she was making complaint about every thing with her husband. Later while her parents made her understand the realities, she did manage it perfectly well and leading a happy life now.
Let me share another case of a teenager who is a student of class twelfth, she cannot stand slightest resemblance of a joke at her cost although girls her age tend to cut many of such jokes while sitting in groups. She always finds it too hard to digest if her close friends make even a healthy comment on any of her weaknesses. She feels it so bad that she does not talk to them for days together and this takes a lot to make her normal again, which may some times last for weeks. She does not take a comment even from her teachers in normal sense. This is part of the life for most but a big tension for this particular girl.
Adjustment is the key
Most cases of maladjustment or lack of adjustment happens with women (I hope I am not asking for trouble if a lady editor is reading this) that too with young women who number up to 90% with stress problems due unable to handle adjustment with some thing or the other at any given point. Such youngsters try to find out some thing or other to make a point of issue to show their own importance. The unmarried girls are finding it tough to adjust with sisters or brothers and making very small points look very big, which otherwise can be solved easily.
If the young married women are finding it tough to adjust with other ladies in the family the matured, (although not all - another chance of a lady editor finding it offensive) finding adjustment problems with their husbands on different grounds. The problems that may look small at the beginning may convert into bigger later resulting in big issues and even reaching to a stage where separation or even suicide’s attempts are possible.
Whenever we discuss about depression and tension we usually find the lack of communication being the biggest reasons of adjustment problem, which could be solved easily with having an open discussion on the topic and going deeper on to the root cause of a particular problem. Discussion is the only solution as long as there is no ego problem in between the two parties at the loggerheads and willing to normalize the situation. There is no use elastifying the problem that is good for no one.
There are certain rules to follow
There is no use keeping an unsatisfied or uncooperative mood on all occasions.
There is no harm making compromises some times for the sake of family or friends that would help.
What is the harm in pointing out the particular problem and find a solution with a mutual dialogue?
As they say ‘catch the mother of evil’ that means the person with whom you find hard to adjust with talk in detail and put your point of views clearly, never forget to listen to them as well.
Avoid sarcastic comments. That will save you from deeper troubles.
I think this is better to avoid being hyperactive at the drop of a hat, try to give it a second thought. You shall have your chance to handle the situation in a better way.
This is always a better option to give a chance to someone to clear his stance that is irritating you with his behavior. He could make his position clear; this could be some thing not that irritating later.
Never stop communication that would only increase complications and close the doors of negotiations.
I agree that in most cases the other party is wrong but just in case- think about your own attitude. I am bit hesitant but we too are wrong in some of the cases.
I know these are simple points and almost every one knows about these ordinary methods. However, when it comes to implementing these in our life we always want some one else to take an initiative as if we are the perfect most and cannot commit a mistake in our life therefore, this is wise to act according to situation and save the situation.
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