Change yourself not your roomy

These are usually is small conflicts between the friends those becomes the reasons of breakup, and that is especially true in cases of roommates. We can always find those reasons and try to resolve them because there is no guarantee that the next friend whom you chose to be your room partner may not have some thing that irritates you more than what your current roomy is doing. Therefore, this is advisable to rectify the problems easily tackled. 

Actually, there are a few simple solutions to rectify such conflicts arising in between the friends especially roommates. First and more important is to understand the reasons of conflict and then to develop the ability to cope up to find a proper solution. If any of the friends, who is having a problem with another one posses such qualities then sorting out the conflict is not a big deal. 

This is due to not knowing each other well  

Yes, the reasons of conflicts in between the roomies are mostly due to not knowing each other and their mentality properly. They do not understand or totally misunderstand the needs of each other to come to terms. One of them maybe too shy or the other too extrovert could well be the reasons of the problem.

There is a simple solution to this problem that while the tension exists, there is no way you can reach to a conclusion, better try it out to talk I out in detail while the situation is in normal mode. That would certainly provide you with a positive result. The proper distribution of work is the main cause of problems most of the times.

The main conflict begins while one of the roomy is too demanding and wants the other partner to do almost every pending job right from cooking to tidy-up. That certainly sounds the danger alarm because this is not proper work distribution. The partners either must talk it out before hand and reach to a proper work chart or do their own work without expecting the other partner to do it for you.  

The best way to save a conflict is to make a list of jobs, distribute the work properly without a hitch, and stick to it strictly. See to it that the workload shared is equally and properly and the time available to partners is suitable. Suppose a partner allotted a job while that is his time out, would not be suitable. This is better to inform the partner in advance if some thing goes wrong and the work allotted to a particular partner would not be possible to carry out. That would save both of them from many problems.

Lack of coping ability

As I said earlier that if, one of the partners has coping ability the problem can be controlled easily but in case both of the partners lack it then there is no way but to learn it according to situation. This would be better to read the behavior of your partner and try to re-adjust with that. You shall have to compromise a little but remember the compromise should be up to a certain level only. Compromises beyond a limit or at the cost of your own respect are not advisable.

Never share personal matters beyond a certain point

Some people do not hesitate to share personal matters with any one anywhere. What I feel this is not a good habit because you never know when the other one does share them with others or misuse those matters. That is one habit that may create a misunderstanding if not intercepted properly therefore give your partner some time to before sharing emotions or personal information.

Now you have two options

First, you should see if the problem is not at your end, you could check it with reversing the roles. Keep yourself in his place and him at yours. Try to make a checklist and see who is at the receiving end. Just listen to your own heart and find out what does your morale sense tells you! Listening skills are important in such cases, if your partner scores better than you do while it comes to listening patiently, you should consider that he gives importance to what you have to say. Listening skills are clear indications of guilty or not guilty.

Second, you should not compromise with any one who is not ready to change despite your all out efforts or uses your belongings without even your permission. If your partner not sharing the expenses in a proper manner but using the common items without problem whatsoever. 

Moreover, the worst of them all if your partner checks your personal items without your consent and even use them. The one who brings his friends and relatives often in the room to stay is not worth staying with as a roomy. I would not like to stay with any one who has no cooperative nature and does not stand together in my time of distress.


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