Developing Emotional Intelligence
One wonders whether this concept took its birth specifically because of the modern day trend where people are only bothered about themselves and don’t give a damn about what others are doing or was it given due importance because we have progressed into a higher intellectual level altogether and need to look further than mere mental capabilities ! Either way Emotional Intelligence Quotient is gaining a lot of popularity and importance now where higher studies and career options are concerned !Recent studies indicate that emotional intelligence influences behavior in a wide range of domains including school, community, family environment and the workplace. Given the fact that EQ has the potential to increase our understanding of how individuals behave and adapt to their social environment, it has now become an important topic for study.
What Exactly is Emotional Intelligence Quotient ?
EQ or Emotional intelligence Quotient is one’s ability to better attune oneself with inner feelings. Many people do not have emotional intelligence because they have a difficulty expressing what they feel or understanding their own feelings in the first place. This again does not reflect badly on their capacity nor does it imply that they are lacking in any way because it may be due to many factors like upbringing or a mental block, both of which can be easily overcome with some personal and clinical effort !What is important is to identify and rectify it at early stages.
According to the studies conducted by these eminent psycho analysts , the conventional intelligence Quotient which is popularly known as IQ, is far too narrow and deals only with one aspect of an individual’s personality or mental make up. But, there are wider areas within our self that needs to be tapped to make sure that we bring out our best to ensure success in what we do ! Success requires not just intelligent mind or Intelligence Quotient , which has been the yardstick for measuring intelligence, however ignoring many essential behavioral and character patterns in an individual.
EQ or Emotional Intelligence Quotient as I earlier discussed is relatively recent behavioral pattern. The concept came into prominence with Daniel Goleman's 1995 Book called 'Emotional Intelligence'. It is during the 1970’s and later years that eminent psychologists like Howard Gardner, John Jack Mayer and a few others wrote extensively about the importance of emotions and its role in shaping our personality and intelligence ! They conducted several studies all of which showed that a fine tuned EQ brings out more efficiency and performance from an individual.
How Does It Help?
The question is how Does it Help individuals more than IQ ?
Emotional Intelligence Quotient is fast becoming an important consideration in all aspects of an organization. Earlier , the stress was only on the mental ability of a person ( IQ) whereas now all other aspects are given equal importance . Thereby EQ is finding a place and importance in fields like Human resources planning, job profiling, recruitment, interviewing and selection, management development, customer relations , customer service, etc. It is also heartening to know that EQ can be developed and nurtured so that a person who was seen as lacking in some areas now has the scope to develop them unlike in IQ which is largely hereditary and can only be developed and enhanced to a certain extent during childhood .
In the past far too much emphasis was being given on certain aspects of intelligence such as logical reasoning , understanding analogies, verbal skills etc which had to do with ones mental faculty. However, Researchers were puzzled by certain cases where , even when they had everything going for them they were unable to give out their best . This led to the conclusion - while possession of a certain level of IQ could help achieve a significant degree of academic performance and professional and personal success, there was something missing in the equation.
It was also noted that many people who were super brilliant with fabulous IQ scores were doing poorly in life, unable to handle relationships and generally not very happy when it came to family life . There are scores of such examples in the history of mankind. According to researchers they were wasting their potential by thinking, behaving and communicating in a way that hindered their chances to succeed simply because they were thinking with their head and trying to find theoretical solutions whereas the requirement was something far more simpler and basic. The missing link here was the EQ which had not been tapped or developed in these highly skilled individuals , who with all their brilliance were not successful in other spheres of life .
These researches have also made educationists aware of the importance of developing EQ in the early stages as the child enters school and begins interacting and socialising. Teachers and parents now realise that it is becoming increasingly important to develop a child’s EQ , at the school level itself , as it is now becoming increasingly relevant while selecting candidates for specialised courses and hiring work force . Most leading companies are looking for more than mental capabilities and brilliance in academics while hiring people and they are increasingly looking at the emotional empathy that a person has developed ,while conducting a job interview and selecting candidates...
Our Actions and Our Emotions
It is a known fact that all our actions are systematically controlled by our emotions . Human beings cannot do any action without giving it at least some thought and this is what forms the basis for EQ, since EQ is all about understanding yourself, your goals, your responses and your behavioral patterns. I feel that it is in fact a process of self analysis, where you are constantly looking into yourself to see how you are faring with regard to your relationships . It is also our capacity to understand other people who we deal with and their feelings.
We see many brilliant scientists made fun of by others at their lack of understanding where every day things are concerned. Although earlier this was considered to be the done thing for the highly intelligent people to do, now it is thought to be their poor communicative skills that is at the root of this type of behavior . So, it is all the more important to develop an all rounded personality instead of making our future citizens just intelligent , goal oriented and motivated to achieve their best !
How to Develop EQ or Emotional Intelligence ?
Since EQ is still a relatively new concept a lot more research needs to be done probing human mind and emotions and how best to utilise them ! As of now psycho analysts and researchers have put together a few concepts that help in developing the EQ. I will briefly deal with them one by one..
Knowing our Emotions - First and foremost as individuals we need to have a grip on our emotions which is not always possible.This is needs to be cultivated right from childhood. Children throwing tantrums should be made to realise that such behavior does not help them. Losing temper and flying off the handle each time things do not go their way does not help a person , instead trying to analyse the situation and see where things went wrong and taking proper steps may give positive results . Once we know our weak points and strengths we can always work on them , which will help us in the long run to become better individuals.
Managing our own emotions - Once you learn your weak points and strong points you also need to learn how best to use it your advantage . This does not mean that you start manipulating your emotions or other people's emotions - rather trying to use it in a positive manner so that we are able to better our relationships and manage our emotions better with people within our family, at our work place and those we deal with on a daily basis. A successful career combined with the ability to manage your emotions and relationships better, definitely makes you a happier person.
Motivating ourselves – Motivation is an important and integral part of remaining positive in life. If we have to do our best we need to set goals and motivate ourselves and achieve he targets that we set for ourselves . This is a continuous ongoing process in life and when we understand this very essential concept in life we remain positive and thereby become better people to deal with. Motivation need not always be something that is connected with money and popularity alone, it could be something very basic like losing weight, reading some good books or saving for a holiday. Every little thing has a place in life !
Having the ability to Recognise and understand other people's emotions – This ability is what makes a person stand out from the rest. It takes a lot more than just interaction to study and get to know people. We need to put ourselves in their place before reacting to any situation, only then can we truly recognise and empathise with others feelings and emotions.
Managing other people’s emotions – This happens at times when we face a situation within the family or at workplace when we are required to carefully deal with difficult people. Unless you are diplomatic and also very understanding and sensitive about issues concerning others it is not easy to manage other peoples emotions especially when it is negative. In work places, this is a necessary requirement, especially when you aspire to reach the top position and have to manage people working under you.
We can conclude that it is very important to teach youngsters to be responsible about their actions and also develop a healthy respect for others actions instead of being one sided, critical or judgmental. A well developed Emotional Intelligent Quotient also focuses on positive aspects and how to turn one's emotional intelligence to one's advantage . It also focuses on building constructive thinking pattern , which facilitates the person to reach ones goal. This includes setting realistic goals, motivating oneself and also having effective leadership qualities !
To be successful in life it is important to have awareness, sensitivity to other people's feelings and one's surroundings , effective control and management of one's own emotions and those of other people as well. All of these qualities help us during crisis and adverse situations in life. At an individual level EQ relates to academic achievement, work performance, one's ability to communicate effectively, solve everyday problems, build meaningful interpersonal relationships, and the ability to make the right decisions. This may sound like a difficult task but once you understand the concept it makes sense and you will also realise that it is the right way of doing things.
First and foremost while attaining emotional intelligence you are also becoming emotionally literate. You are not only learning and know what you’re feeling and what’s causing it rather than blaming other people or certain situations for all your misfortunes. It is ultimately taking responsibility for your actions which has to be taught right from childhood !
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