People, memory and strange ways to behave online-offline
My memories and me
I am good at recognizing voices over the phone but my memory does not cooperate with me in recalling names if I have not met a person for sometime. It makes big difference when people give me a smile in public places or even call me by name but I have to limit my address with a “Bhai Saheb” or “Bhabiji” I don’t think I am alone who feels odd in a situation like this but there are many who pass through such a situation. I feel embarrassed whenever someone smiles and waive a hand with calling me with my name and I try to search my memory to recall his name. I have no way left but to say ‘Hi, how are you' or 'I think all is well’
The worst situation arises when trying to recall someone I cal him with wrong name. I have called many times people with altogether different names leaving them in most astonished situations. Let me recite one of the incidents that left me in an awkward situation.
‘How are you Suni ‘
‘I am fine Mr. Sharma, how are you doing today?’
Now the face of person I addressed tells me that I have done a blunder, calling him by a wrong name. Now look at how the conversation goes on-
‘No Suni, I am no Sharma but Verma, probably you missed my name’
‘Oh yes, I am sorry, how is everything! How is Bhabiji?’
‘Bhabiji, but my wife died a few years back, you are probably not getting me right. I have no woman in my household whom you can call Bhabiji’
How to deal with Pappus
This makes more problems for me and I try to find a place where I could hide myself. Although, as I said I am good at voices on the phone but some people believe on gassing games. They do trust on my memory more than I do my own self. As far I am concerned, I always tell my name first thing whenever I call someone and greet him properly. I consider it as perfect way of manners in place. In most cases, I can tell a person as soon as I hear a ‘hello’ from a person but some people with their mannerism can fool me too. I am giving you an example of a conversation here-
‘Hi, what is going on, what are you doing in the evening today?’
‘I beg your pardon but I did not recall you’ as this was the case, I did not recognize the person.
‘Oh, it’s me’
‘But, I am really unable to recollect you sir’ I still did not recognize him.
‘Strange, you are not getting me?’
Now, this conversation began to annoy me a bit, ‘Sir, are you speaking from sets of KBC, and your voice is on audio clip that I am supposed to recognize or fail the test?’
‘Nice joke brother, I am Pappu speaking’ pet came the reply.
Now, I was at the end of my wits and confused to the core ‘Pappu, which Pappu, I have many Pappus in my family, in fact every fourth person is known as a Pappu here and some of the Pappus have become fathers of four Pappus themselves and still cal them Pappus’
However, the problem was solved when he decided to tell finally that he was my distant cousin, speaking from Bangalore, was expected to come to Delhi for a week. He was looking for a place to stay with his family to utilize his Leave Traveling allowance. And to top it a he obtained my phone number from another cousin who had came and stayed with me only last year, for sight seeing purpose of course. After all, I was living in capital of India with a cozy house allotted by my company.
I generally find it best to keep talking without calling people by name if I fail to recognize their voices, a standard strategy that keeps me safe from later embarrassments. Like I keep asking about their health related topics, family members, education of children, weather in their cities, rain, traffic situation until I am not sure about the identity of the person on the other end. If I succeed, it makes thing fine although I am again no good at such gassing games and my success rate is not that good. As I said earlier, I am good at recognizing people’s voices immediately or otherwise I have very little chance to do so.
Let me give you another example of misplaced identity, in a particular case I asked the person who did not tell his name but said hello and when I asked ‘who is speaking please’ the person on the other end became annoyed.
‘You mean you did not recognize me, what is the use of talking to you if you did not recognize my voice?’ That was the height of it; I think they took me for registered astrologers because I was working for a communication company therefore all the data, they thought should be there in my memory.
I tried it once
Let me admit that once I also tried the same strategy, when I did not tell my name to called party to see if everyone else was capable or it was expected of me only who missed proper identification of friends. I had a particular reason to phone one of my friends, who had just met with an accident and had his leg broken. I asked the lady, who picked the phone ‘Hello Bhabiji, how is Bhai Saheb, I am so sorry for the sad news’
‘What sad news?’ A confused answer came from the lady on the other side.
‘I mean, how is he, how did he fell from the stairs to break his leg?’
I think the number I dialed was wrong, and that made the lady furious ‘who the hell are you, where have you called, I think it’s you who needs to have a broken leg.
I hung up before more good wishes came from the other side of the line.
End of the story
That made me even more cautious to have properly introduced before starting a conversation on the phone. Talking to strangers in an intimate way may cost us dearly especially while the other party is a woman.
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