Do We Need Role Models In The Cyber Age ?
Why do we need role models?
Who do we look up to ?
There was a time many years ago when youngsters and students looked upto people who made a name for themselves in either educational fields, arts or were great leaders or singers or even great actors.Times were different and people were different and there was no exposure where every little detail about the person they were admiring was known to them.They saw their admirable qualities and felt that they too would steer their life the way their role models had done. It was probably the mystique that was surrounding their private lives, that gave them a larger than life image glossing over any negative qualities they may have had. It is not the case now and we all know how the lives of celebrities, politicians, industrialists and for that everyone who mater has become an open book with every minute detail being given undue importance and coverage by the media.
So who do we have now who is worthy of this adulation ? Mother Teresa, Shahrukh Khan, Mukesh Ambani, Katrina Kaif, Aishwarya Rai, Manmohan Singh, Obama?..Frankly, do we need any of these role models now? The importance of a role model is undergoing some rapid changes and also to my mind their capacity to inspire has run dry !
Here I am giving a questionnaire that was put to high school students in a school debate and the response shows the shifting preferences or rather the lack of it !
Q -Who is your role model ?
A - What or Who is that ?
Q - Someone who you would like to look up to ?
A - Like who ?
Q - Like for example Mother Teresa, Obama, Anil Ambani, Michael Jackson, Mukesh Ambani, Osho Rajneesh, Manmohan Singh, Ayn Rand, Shahrukh khan, Katrina Kaif, Karl Marx, Bill Gates, Imran Khan, Satya Sai Baba , The pope ...any one from this list ?
A – No - no one from the list
Q - Anyone else of your choice ?
A - No I don’t need a role model
This negative response was received from more than 80% of the students and those who did choose role models went for either pop singers or actors! However, the majority of the students preferred to do without any role models. They felt that there was no point in emulating anyone.
Let us analyse this and see whether it is a change or a shift in their preferences a new avatar probably !
Different Avatars
Role models have been with us since time immemorial. People needed real life heroes to look up to place their faith in and also derive inspiration from which basically stems from insecurities and a lack of self confidence in many! But it also can be adoration based on ideologies like when someone looks up to a literary figure for the contribution he or she has made.
However, most of the time they have manifested themselves as objects of religious reverence like Sathya Sai Baba, Ayatollah Khomeini or other such religious leaders. People have also hero worshiped some for their acumen – people like Bill gates, JRD Tata, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and so on. Film stars too had their fair share or may be more than their fair share of worship and adulation bestowed on them. They became the role models for aspiring star struck fans. Men and women in the fields of art and letters find themselves either becoming mentors or being put on a pedestal by wannabes.
I was reading somewhere an amusing comment made by an eminent sociologist about role models which I am quoting here - "The role model is someone whose warts get glossed over and whose positive traits are highlighted. Deep within all of us, is the need to have someone to look up to. We emulate role models hoping that we, too, will strike it big like them " . This sums up the real need for a role model since, it is more an extension of our own ambitions and desires that make us look up to people who , we think have made it to the top !
A role model would be keenly observed, studied and subjected to severe scrutiny so that the missing key, the magic mantra to success could be found. People overlooked all other qualities except what they felt was admirable and created a larger than life persona who embodied everything good with no faults! It was in fact an imaginary figure that they had created in their minds firmly shutting out any realistic failings or shortcomings that the person may have. Even now some people get angry when someone speaks of Gandhiji's failings at a human level as a husband and father.
Benefits of having a Role model and a Mentor
It has been considered that having a role model is good for the person's all round growth. In emulating someone who has succeeded in life, you refine yourself and define your life adopting a good value base.
It strengthens a person’s value system, making him or her look upon life with vigor, optimism and enthusiasm because there is a goal to be fulfilled. These are all very positive qualities that help in the growth of a person. Many a times, the role model ends up being the unwitting inspiration for a greater career move, a promotion, attitude change – both at a personal and professional level. According to behavioral psychologists when the role model becomes the mentor the benefits reaped are even greater.
We see many entry level young people adopt a successful senior as a role model and then look up to them making them their mentor. From the older senior person they learn more than just the job requirements, they learn to tackle tough issues and are able to climb the ladder of success easily thereby helping their career and themselves.
The role of a mentor though shadowy is nonetheless equally influential. The mentor is someone whose opinions are valued, followed and admired for what he or she represents. The mentor in turn helps the junior cope with stress both at work place and at a personal level since he realises that unless a person has a happy and stress free personal equation with his family he will not be able to deliver. So, when you have a mentor to lean back on your own life becomes that much more easier and stress free !
It strengthens a person’s value system, making him or her look upon life with vigor, optimism and enthusiasm because there is a goal to be fulfilled. These are all very positive qualities that help in the growth of a person. Many a times, the role model ends up being the unwitting inspiration for a greater career move, a promotion, attitude change – both at a personal and professional level. According to behavioral psychologists when the role model becomes the mentor the benefits reaped are even greater.
The Fading Luster
We come back to the present now since what I discussed above was what used to happen during the good old days. As of now the days of Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Pablo Neruda and other eminent personalities seems to be over, instead improbable entities from the silver screen, pop singers and the ramp have replaced them. Over the years, barring the religious role models most other objects of worship have faded in luster.
According to psychologists this is because of a combination of a hectic life style , a single minded absorption in achieving one’s goals and also because of a cynical attitude that has crept into many youngsters. Another very relevant fact according to me is that the youngsters are not quite as impressionable as they were say 2 or 3 decades ago. They are an aware lot with very definite ideas and opinions of their own where role models have little place or impact.
I know of many youngsters who simply don’t even want a role model - they know where they are, what they want and how to get there. According to them admiring a star or pop singer does not mean following their lifestyle - like one youngster told me “ If you are busy trying to live life like your role model you lose sight of yourself since we know that we have the potential and it is just a matter of realising it and giving expression to it “.
Often it so happens that a role model turns out to have feet of clay and the admiring youngsters cannot take the fall from grace. They either turn a blind eye believing that their role model is above reproach, since they feel the desperate need to go on believing. But in time realisation dawns and they become cynical painting all with the same black paint.
Either way, the image of role model as hero/heroine has suffered in the recent times. Who is fit to be a genuine role model today? The other day I was going through an interview given by Bill Gates who is a giant today because of his contributions and personality, where he says that no one is hated more than him with so many anti-Gates websites, than him. Can we think of anyone who we feel is worthy of emulating? Hillary Clinton – she has too many chinks! Any of our Politicians? the youngsters would run a mile than emulate anyone of them.
Many youngsters even go as far as saying to their parents when they show some great personality ‘You show someone with our own tastes and someone worthy of being a role model worthy of emulation and we will emulate them. But frankly can any parent come up with one who is worthy of emulation? here first of all parents need to find someone who their children would accept and also find someone who they themselves approve ! This is an impossible task as far as today’s scenario is concerned.
Redefining the role
Redefining the role Psychoanalysts and behavioral experts feel that not having a role model is not a bad idea since one needs to consider the social conditions as well. It is something that came naturally a few decades away and now it comes naturally not to have one. No doubt role models can be wonderful people for us to learn from and enhance our lives. Unfortunately most of us want someone who is so perfect in our eyes that we can blindly depend on him or her. The flip side here is that when our whole lives will be dedicated in unquestioning adulation and emulation of that one person, we run the risk of sacrificing our own unique ability to think for ourselves. The question will be where to draw the line ?
There are some cases where the individual on a pedestal is unworthy of such adulation of being a role model. Impressionable young people hero worship models, film stars, rich industrialists just because they are good looking and stylish and fight 50 people at the same time on screen and are immensely rich . Now one wonders whether these are qualities to be emulated and how far does it benefit the youngster in his or her own overall personality development ? Not much thought is given beyond the external qualities. A role model adopted for such frivolous reasons obviously van do precious little for anyone, in fact in my opinion may cause more damage to the all round development of youngster’s personality.
Blind adoration is dangerous in that it could lead a person to think – why do I need to solve my problem by myself when I have a person telling me directly or indirectly what to do and how to act !
The Flip Side of having a role model
Having a role model is a twin-edged sword. The moment your object of adoration gives you the cold shoulder or is unable to simply unable to comply with whatever you demand of this person, the adoration can easily turn to disappointment and later hate. The image of the role model now needs to be destroyed wholly and devastatingly, this is what happens in some cases !
That is how admirers and fans turn stalkers and senders of hate mail. Sometimes this negative feeling can go to any extent turning the person into a criminal. When the person hates the role model and is bent on destroying the role model he or she is also destroying their own self since they become imbalanced and irrational in their thinking. Whereas previously their entire life was devoted to admiration and imitation, now their entire life and being feeds on smoldering hate.
This fall from grace could be for reasons ranging from trivial to the serious. An adored writer could for some reason be a little short or rude with one of his adoring fans and admiration can easily turn into hate , similar case with film stars who may be brisk or negligent with an admirer. In an office a much adored officer might speak highly of a colleague you don’t like and overlook you for a promotion ! These are all the many reasons how adoration can easily turn into hate. Then again the role model may turn out to be a cheat or a person who leads a despicable double life and the idol bites the dust !
An impressionable mind adopting a role model is not always for better. Perceived and imaginary virtues are often heaped on the person, raising him or her to a deity status. If the role model is a restrained cal person the emulator too would adapt some of those qualities, however, if the role model is seen as an aggressive person the emulator may adopt an unnatural even uncharacteristic veneer of aggression. We see many such instances when youngsters begin to adore some persons with a criminal bent up of mind finally becoming criminals themselves. Whereas the older people being adored may be able to handle their own personal traits the emulator may not be able to do so especially if he or she is young , impressionable and immature.
More importantly the emulator keeps comparing himself or herself to the role model and obviously suffers in the grading ! This leads to putting oneself down mentally, which in turn leads to a weakened sense of confidence in oneself. This becomes a major disadvantage in life. I have seen many such cases where a vicious circle is formed, one that does not help the emulator at all.
Conclusions
One needs to be balanced in life. The blinkered view, whereby one shuts out the world to the exclusion of all but the role model, is another detrimental factor. The pronouncement of the role model is greeted with devout belief and reverence. According to psychoanalysts who have made several studies on the subject - It is a clear division of ‘US’ ( The role model and the emulator or the adoring fan as the case may be ) against ‘THEM’ ( which is the rest of the world). Such a narrow point of view cannot benefit the young mind in any way. In fact it can only harm the person since he or she begins to live in an unnatural world where reality doesn't seem to have much impact until something drastic happens. Any such experience the individual might have will leave a very negative impact on his or her thinking in almost all their future actions in life! They might become cynics who don't easily trust people.
Ultimately, the general consensus among the experts seems to be that having a role model is a mixed blessing! We can benefit from emulating a worthy individual, but it is important to distance ourselves adequately and objectively from that very individual. The influence should be a boon and never a bane.
( image - personal)
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