Happiness -- what exactly is it?
Hundreds of thousands of people, keeping on searching for happiness. Their search either takes them to the Himalayas or to Varanasi or to to the extreme end of India, that is, Rameswaram, or simply go on working like bulls for upwards of sixteen hours per day. The people in the latter group often take pride in saying, "I have enough of money". But ask them if they are happy and they would reply " I really do not know".
The first category of people are not really happy either. They would say " i went to that place to wash off my sins" and add, " I am somewhat happy now". A few days later, they would say they are unhappy.
The bitter truth of life is that there is nothing called big happiness or big sorrow.
Happiness is just a frame of mind. You can choose to be happy by amassing wealth, as many do. You would spend it, you would enjoy a costly holiday in India, or even abroad. But the happiness would go, the moment you are back into the rat race.
For, the very concept of happiness matters and differs from person to person. What is happiness to one is not to another.
Yet, as in many other things and areas, we can learn from others, here too.
I have met several hundreds of people, who were very happy for a very long time, they said so, and even behaved as ones who openly exhibited that happiness.
There is one particular family I know of, in Coimbatore city. They take pride in whatever they do. They share all their joys with others. They are always ready to help others. In fact, both the husband and wife have done commendable work in some environmental campaign or the other. They often go to the orphanages and take their teenage children who also help out.
When I quiz members of the family, they readily point out that happiness lies in doing work for others. They do not have any voluntary agency. They do not claim any credit for their success. But they keep on carrying out some work or the other.
For those who know them very closely ( this author included), they never hesitate to ask them to stay on for any number of days, and provide food, all the three times of the day, with a tremendous amount of affection. This is not the usual affection that is so artificial, often seen in many urban cities.
Coimbatore itself is an emerging metro city in its own right. However, this couple stand out for all that is good in human nature. Am often given to understand that there are many others like them.
So, how can one define their concept of happiness?. It is a simple concept of making others happy, to the maximum extent possible. In fact, even local politicians respect them, and dare not to cross their way, given the fact that the entire neighborhood knows them very well. The gentleman is a local hero, but would never ever claim any fame, or boast about the work he does.
There are some other students in colleges, who strike out on their own. This author knows a group of students who regularly clean up the world-famous Marina Beach in Chennai. Every single local person in the vicinity of the beach, knows their work. They also join them in doing their bit. This group of boys and girls, do not make any publicity for themselves. But they are very happy they have done something.
To many rich people, happiness just means giving away parts of their wealth to the needy and the poor. In fact, that is true happiness for them. They often claim that only by the grace of God, they are where they are. So, why not give away at least something to the poor? In fact, most of such people, give new clothes on occasions like Diwali to prison inmates, to the old age people in old age homes and so on.
So, in the ultimate analysis, the concept of happiness is what we define as happiness.
There are some ground rules here too.
The first ground rule is very very important. This rule is very simple indeed: money cannot buy you any happiness at all. Money can buy you money things, you will feel happy for some time, and live all the luxury, but money is not happiness. Having more and more money is actually a pain.
The second ground rule is that irrespective of whatever you are, and whatever you are doing, do what makes you happy. Many advocate youngsters to follow their hearts to make their profession. As if to take a leaf out of a very famous Hindi movie, they point out that one can become a photographer, if one wishes to.
This author would not recommend such hobbies for a living. For, one does need to earn fairly substantial amounts of money, though there are limits to this madness. However, if one is IT savvy for example, he or she can take up jobs, quickly earn the cushion needed to satisfy their needs for the next fifteen years, and then venture out to take up their hobbies as a full time passion. That is, to follow their inner craving.
The third ground rule is that no is no such thing as "happiness, at all times". Life does have its own quota of pluses and minuses. There are many people who think that bad times will just vanish.
They will not. Bad times do occur. Jobs may be lost. Some one in the family may fall very sick. We should always be ready to shoulder the associated responsibilities to see through such difficult times. There is always a way out, and it is possible to sort out such things. However, to be happy to the maximum extent possible in even such situations, would demand courage and determination.
The fourth ground rule is that you should never chase happiness, particularly the kind that others are after. For, it is up to you to define what you mean by happiness. If perhaps doing service to others brings you happiness, do it. If making maximum money brings you happiness, do it, at least for some years.
The fifth ground rule, is that we also need to give importance to happiness of our life partners. There are many wives who want maximum money, and would simply push their husbands to work very hard. If you are such a husband, try to satisfy your wife to the maximum extent possible. Simply neglecting her would be a sure recipe for disaster. However, if you can make your wife take someone's advise, do it. For, she could then understand that real happiness is not through money alone.
Happiness, in conclusion, is just a frame of mind. It is highly person-specific. It should only be that way, forever.
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