Becoming more tolerant of changing cultures and fashions
In just under twenty years, churidar, a very common dress worn by most Indian women has simply taken the entire South India by storm. No woman, young or old, or middle-aged, can escape this dress -- sari sales is coming down day after day.
Why should this happen? The counter question should be: why not?
It is now becoming increasingly clear that we need to accept fashions as they come. Simply resisting them, nor not allowing our children to adapt to such cultures can be very dangerous. It can ruin the entire motivation and morale of those concerned.
Along with fashions, we also need to be aware that cultures are changing too. For instance, it is now a culture, in most urban families to talk increasingly about the latest "sale" offers currently on in some place or the other. The older generation do not like this talk. They try to discourage the younger generation from spending too much time on these things.
This does not go down well with the younger generation. There is a big difference between culture and habits. When regular habits get repeated over and over again, as a regular behavioral pattern, the entire scenario changes, and the habits become culture of a particular class or group of people.
For instance, in the case of the old people ( a safe definition: anyone over 65 years of age) in urban areas, is wedding to television and to the horrible serials that are regularly shown, for well over twelve hours every day.
Any attempt to wean them away from such a cultural practice is just futile -- yes, they have nothing else to do, as their mobility becomes restricted because of age, and health problems.
So, if one particular point in culture is fine with them, why not accept something some common as a culture with the younger generation? The fact that the younger generation, even in semi-urban and rural areas where the reach of the internet is very wide,(and very good), are tech-savvy is a very good point of culture, that we should rather encourage. We cannot be slaves to something to the olden times.
Only if someone were to stick to some point of culture that he or she likes in particular, should that be respected. For instance, in certain Tamil Brahmin families, where the women are fairly orthodox, the women still wear the nine yards sari, and the men wear earrings, not only when they do pooja, but even outside. This is not considered odd, even today, but accepted as such. This needs to be respected, and such people can be allowed to stay the way they are.
The simplest way of accepting the change in culture and fashions is to allow the same to be accepted, as if it were just normal, so normal, as any other thing -- for example, we all accept increase in road traffic, as a given. It should be so natural.
However, there are limits to this. For instance, in traditional vegetarian families, anyone taking to non-vegetarianism, is not welcomed. This is just in order. The family heritage and culture should be preserved. We also need to appreciate the economics involved. If everyone where to become non-vegetarian, the cost of meat products, which is already very high, will simply go over the roof. The fact that over eighty per cent of Tamil Nadu and Telangana and Seemandhra is non-vegetarian, is a case in point. So is Kerala, with a similar percentage of non-vegetarians.
Parents have a vital role to play in trying to strike a balance. For instance, across castes and communities, it is a very common practice among young girls, who are unmarried,to wear some jewels, but also wear glass bangles during every marriage. This is just not on, among most girls, who simply refuse to obey their parents, saying that the so-called culture is "old-fashioned". This author was witness to a particular case, where the mother spent an entire hour, finally convincing the girl to wear some glass bangles.
The wearing of glass bangles is more than symbolic. It is supposed to confirm to an ancient practice. It is very common for someone from either of the parties to the marriage, to inquire about the girl, who would then get married to some boy from such families, after observing all the formalities.
So, we need to have a clear distinction between what is right and what is wrong, having due respect for individual sentiments, based on some ancient practice, or when the particular way of dressing is connected to anything that is religious.
This author is very much aware that India is becoming very much westernized. KFC and Domino pizza joints, for instance, dot the landscape of several small towns and big cities, throughout India. These businesses were never thought to be feasible just a few years back. Today, they are symbols of bold consumerism, and accepted as a big fashion.
While this is okay to some extent, too much of it, is already disturbing peace in many upper middle-class homes, where permissiveness is now the norm, not the exception. In fact, any attempt by the elders to interfere or advise the younger generation, is not welcomed and at all, and they are repeatedly mocked at, for their so-called "out-dated views'.
So where do we draw the line? The parents need to be big role models, and having a view that 'freedom' of any kind is welcome, is very dangerous indeed. Such "freedom" is often misused by children, who tend to go the wrong way, mostly under pear pressure.
Particularly very disturbing is the big trend towards use of drugs among college boys and even girls. Once they become addicted, the children are never ever able to come back to normalcy. This is neither a fashion or culture. It is outright bad, and the very strict action needs to be taken to tackle this menace.
In future, the spread of fashion, or evolution of new cultures will positively take place, as for instance, going back to some sort of spiritualism, among some sections of the IT crowd, who are worn out rather early, when they are just forty years old.
Drawing the line in matters of fashion and culture, is best left to the children and the parents involved. Having an open mind helps. Reasoning and patient counseling can be of big help too, particularly when the parents feel that the children are crossing the line, in a big way.
Let's face it: change in cultures and fashions are here to stay, forever. Coping with it, is a challenge, and a very interesting one at that.
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