We have had hundreds of movies where the hero goes around singing songs and trying to impress the heroine as if he had no other job to do.  The hero would be unemployed, and would be eating out of his father's precious income, but he would have  all the time in the world to sing songs, imagine the worst of situations wherein he would bravely save his girl from groups of bad guys, and do all that is possible to win her heart.

Somewhere down the line, the girl will fall flat for it.  All the time, for almost half the movie time, the hero would be always say to his friends that what goes on in the mind of the girl, is a big mystery.  The more beautiful the girl is, the more complex this "what goes on in her mind" mystery.  So, would go the story line.

But what is the reality?  Even if she were so beautiful ( most heroines are), they are ordinary human beings after all.  Research has revealed that girls in general, do not trust males so easy.  There are so many stereo types of men that have been handed to over the years.

Most of these are ,very unfortunately,  true.  The average Indian male, for instance, wants his wife to earn lesser than him, or to occupy positions in offices or organizations that are at least two steps below his  own.  While most are not adverse to their parents demanding dowry, most of them do flirt with other women, in office and outside.  All this, when expecting their own wives to be most sincere and faithful types.  Even casual conversations with neighbors, is mistaken.

Much of what the girls get to see in men, are thoughts and ideas, firmly implanted in the minds of young girls.  It does not matter whether they are rich, or poor, or have a good complexion or not.  They may be beautiful or not, but what they have in mind, about men, are the converse and exact opposite of what they see in society.

They  trust men who love them, they are very comfortable seeing their husbands as real hero men and someone who is smart in terms of taking care of all their needs. Women who live in big cities and metros, now are so demanding and would start thinking and appreciating those who help them in household chores. 

Women, in general, do not impose their will, on their husbands, but if they listen to their views, they are more than happy.  In reality, unmarried girls trust unmarried boys who literally have these qualities.  This is exactly why marriages that are a mix of love and arranged marriages are very successful.  For instance, if the boy and girl are neighbors, and the girl gets to closely interact with the boy, the girl has a first hand experience of what the boy is all about.  If the wavelengths match, the parents are more than happy.  The wedding becomes a very good one, for the girl and boy know each other so well. 

When these are all realities, the "mystery" component shown in movies of all languages, is a hugely wasteful exercise.  This makes some girls more egoistic and makes the more beautiful of them to behave in irrational ways.  Some of them, but not all, tend to have such tendencies.  Since men are very weak, they fall a prey, the girl gets to interact with more than one man and gets a lot of financial benefits, from the men.  At least two of the boys start imagining the best, and literally thinking that the girl is their life partner.  When they learn that she pins her hope on someone other than them, very undesirable consequences occur.

What our film makers need to understand is that they are creating issues out of non issues.  Mountains out of molehills.  They need to understand that emotions and feelings are natural, and are largely shaped by what they see in society.

A girl's mind is no exception.  Let us not try to glamorize it, Let us not try to poison the young minds of men, who always think of love, whatever that may mean.

Let us be more pragmatic and try to promote harmonious relationships among men and women.  Let the movies show mature relationships of caring and sharing.  Let them show emotions and feelings that are more aligned to reality, to real life situations, in a very natural manner.

Already, the dancing around trees, the advent of the dangerous villains who create fear in the minds of the heroines day in and day out, is bad enough.  Showing a very exaggerated version of reality is already a problem.  Let us get back to realistic movies.

For examples, one  will find plenty of them in real life.  In fact, the mega serials in most Indian languages have actually filled up this void. What is shown on television is more close to reality, and in terms of what normally goes on in the mind of an unmarried girl, is shown in a very realistic manner. 

The television serials are sometimes very bad when they show the negative side of women, as sort of "dadas" who have paid men, who would not hesitate to even commit murders.  However, there are some television serials that are quite good.

Indian society is at cross roads.  The transformation to an industrial society, is still on.  We have managed huge development, most of which is cornered by the rich and the powerful.

As such, we have a lot more serious issues to ponder and debate.  We need to initiate social action on many issues and go the next level, in terms of peace and prosperity.  This author firmly believes that non-issues like the "mystery" in the minds of unmarried young girls, needs to be set aside. 

Our films should transform society to the extent possible.  They ought to be vehicles of social change.  The big mystery, then, is no mystery at all.  Once we understand the true meaning of emotions and feelings that can flow freely, we will not be obsessed with silly issues.  The society can then prosper better than ever before.  


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