The little life
'Should I' or 'Not', the self assessing question, an ,argument which presents an antagonist with two or more alternatives, but is equally conclusive against him which he chooses. This is a dictionary framed definition of dilemma, I just call it the war of thoughts. To our knowledge, dilemma is not only a vexatious alternative or predicament , it is letting oneself stand at the edge of a disquiet state that stands straight at the mid of two direction and makes it difficult to determine what course to pursue, to the human brain. It is more than a natural circumstance or condition of being at any given time, well most of the human Mind engaged in human activity has a tough time overcoming this complex state.it is an act of nature, created in a way that obnoxiously repeats itself time and again. It emboldens the situation, brings the individual to a place where on he can think to move forward. Dilemma, is just a thought that begins at the tip of any decision and further leads to overthinking in the mature grey part, with the least intention to halt until reached the extreme end, fronting a crisis , which has no reason to stop or untire the thought process. It could be effective when a person holds himself back from minutes of case scenarios failing to come up with an answer, lies in dilemma before commencing the act.
It might occur to you why am I talking about dilemma, everybody is just a part and victim of the idea. Well though it looks easy, sounds easy, its complication range slayed. This socially infectious state of things, uncertainty dominating its way out has been a rough side to all our lives some day or the other.
I would just like to put forward how this little word that sometimes people fail to recognize hold the maximum importance.
I am talking about that lady, you seem to know from everywhere. A little rare in a country like ours but definitely exists. Yes,I am talking about that woman who likes to earn for herself, believes in equality, lives an independent life with high faring boundaries. The one who has never really been cared of and grew up in no time with all those poverty around, unresolved parents around. Yes that lot. Let me name her 'she' , which would probably make her feel a little dear and owned.
She was around thirty with a job she fought everyday to secure, a rented house , a broken heart and some friends who signed off as soon as she left her office building. And so I forgot to mention, the new little aspect of her life she just got to this morning. As usual, she got dressed, checked her hair, did her bed and was about to leave when she just felt her head hit hard and before she realised she had flooded the place with her vomit. She took that day off. And eventually found her pregnancy test came out positive. She was struck with a blow and a sudden numbness she failed to realize the feeling she was overthrown with. She sat, felt clueless and kept her mind to her thought on what to do next.
She was on the way to become a mother. She was left muddled, was she supposed to let him know? Would that make him come back? Probably no. He isn't leaving his wife anytime soon and every time she picked her cell up, dialed his number, she teared her cheeks. She just needed somebody to say out loud what would be her next step. She keeps thinking about all the pros and cons, the net results darkens. She fights her inner questions but couldn't figure out a way.
Premarital intercourse in a country like India, a little beyond our thoughts. She has grown up watching 'Kya kehna' but never did she know she would land up in 'Priya's' role. It looked so comforting and well settled in the big screen then why was it such a hazy picture that blocked her head! Being gravid at any age, was a social sin. It wasn't her say, but she knew the facts. She grew weak on her knees, she needed a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on to. She wanted to depend. She was scared, maybe she wasn't really strong to fight her worries. To bear the consequence of her immaturity and the intimacy she shared with her boss boomeranged right on her head. Living in a place where the people care, they intrude in others business like a birthright. How can this be an unfavourable situation? Having conceived a new life was a boon not a bane, it is that purest form of creation which is authentic and pellucid to its core. But the irony lies here, had she been married, entered her socially allotted role, she could run in the house with grace and a smile but it just overturwhen she was denied her socially allotted role. Who was to be blamed?
Here starts the inequality she scorned, she had been trapped to what she detested her whole life. This is a time when our little word plays the role. She has to now go through a double Mind situation. She would be abhored by her family who could have been her root support, rejected by the society and finally forced herself to believe, she has no grip to hold on to. She is disillusioned and coming to a conclusion makes her go through a series of embarrassment, guilt, and disgrace to herself. She believes her purpose of living ends right here and then she lands on the footing where her inner conscience tells her to dishonour the breeding child. For any woman at any instance to be able to hold a child is considered blessing, born with good luck and the dishonouring of which is an inevitable sin. It equals to taking ones own life. Where does she stand? Abort the pumping heart in her womb? Just to make her chances of surviving bright or take the challenge to be a mother, bring up the soul, go against the world, stand rootless on her own.
She has to fight her own dilemmas and eventually everyone does. It is just a matter of moment that complicates or untangles her life. It is with the belief she was born she needs to walk with, put a foot forward, take a decision that she can respect in the long run, breathe freely with no place of regrets.
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