As a child, I was always bullied,

picked on,

comfort trampled on the ground,

well I admit that I was the softest softie

on the planet,

De-graft Afful Jr. was always

a prey of fear

 

Most of my fear came

from over-imagination,

reading horror books

 

As good as I was,

I had this strange, grim fascination

for evil, especially...

REVENGE

 

Well, for a weakling like me,

in areas of self-confidence

and bravery, this was the only

way to get back people

 

It fascinated me to know

that someone couldn't be taken for granted

once he fought back,

this is a grave darkness I have

long hidden in me

 

In high school, it increased

because I was bullied the more,

so I decided to teach my seniors

a lesson in the boarding house,

by getting back at them in various ways

 

My father was one of the people

who taught me this,

I didn't see this as unforgiveness

but he told me that,

sometimes, if we're too good to people,

many people do ANYTHING they

want to us and get away with it

 

In my mind, I was like

"WHAT!"

"Destroy me and go scot free?"

These were my exact words,

so my father told me to show

them how it feels to be taken for granted,

to give them a taste of their own venom,

by revenge

 

This is what I have used to defend

myself in the past years,

to admit, it felt extremely good

to get revenge,

but after I had made them pay,

my whole being would feel extremely odd

and I would feel sorry for getting

back at them

 

Because of this vengeful flaw in

me, I always do not plan to take

people for granted,

well, like I said, everytime I had taken revenge,

I felt really sorry inside,

and I could feel God frowning profusely,

I couldn't see it,

but I could feel his anger,

 

because De-graft Afful Jr.,

is a good guy,

but sometimes, his unforgiveness

makes him a demon

 

Well, I must say, to me,

it is not easy at all,

to forgive,

not at all

but somehow I must learn to forgive,

because Jesus did it for us,

with his blood

somehow,

some way, I must learn to forgive

 

Too much hatred in my heart,

the bully in first grade,

the bully in junior high school,

the time he told me to lick his feet,

it was dehumanizing,

these are all reason why my self-confidence

was demolished

 

An old man told me sometime ago,

that I was like my father,

well, in that sense, somehow...yes

 

somehow, some way...

I must find a way to forgive,

because right after vengeance,

I feel very sorry within...

this is the darkest side

of De-graft Afful Jr.

 

Like I said, sometimes

I thought it wise to be wicked,

so that I wouldn't be taken for granted

or regarded as weak,

well this even makes me weaker

than any weakling in this world,

the inability to forgive,

we all have dark side,

but this is my dark side,

the darkest side of my being,

the dark side of De-graft Afful Jr.

                                                     By Kakraba Afful

 


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