Roughhousing, is essential for a Parent-Child bond.
Roughhousing with kids
What’s Roughhousing?
Roughhousing is violent playing without hurting. Example, sometimes Dads toss up the kids in to the air and catch them in mid air. Recent researches reveal Roughhousing or Horse play with kids will benefit the kids immensely. Anthony De Benedet in his book ‘Art of Roughhousing’ dealt in detail, how Roughhousing is beneficial both to parents and kids. De Benedet affirmatively says, Roughhousing makes the kid smart, intelligent and likeable. It also makes the kid physically fit and mentally strong.
Here at this juncture, I must tell about my own upbringing practices and beliefs prevailing in the neighbourhood.
The practice of “Tossing the children in to the air and catching them in mid air' is considered as a weird practice as it makes the child over excited and may create a shock or a condition of breathlessness in the children that ultimately lead to disastrous results. I was brought up in these conditions and applied the same conditions to my children.
Roughhousing has many benefits.
The first and foremost benefit is it makes the child resilient.
What’s Resiliency?
Resiliency is the ability to face adversities, setbacks, failures, disappointments. Simply put, the ability to bounce back. It teaches the kid how to stick to a job without giving up.
Resiliency is that virtue which makes the kid realize the worth of ‘Present.’
Resilience is a quality that not only makes one swim over the crisis, but also makes the person deal with day to day annoyances that cause hindrances in moving forward. He keeps his composure in balance both in good times and bad times. He never leaves his trait of equanimity in any condition.
Makes the child to adapt to quick changes.
In a moment he will be above you making you a horse and himself a proud rider. Very next moment he may be struggling between your legs trying desperately to loosen your iron grip. From this moment onwards he will be trying hard not only to come away from your grip. He will be looking for an opportunity to topple you. This is what he learns that no success is permanent and no failure is also permanent.
It’s worth noting the remarks of evolutionary Biologist Mark Beckoff. 'Owing to the unpredictable nature of Roughhousing, a Child’s rewiring of the brain takes place by enhancing the connections between the neurons in the cerebral cortex.
The child looks towards new strategies to gain an upper hand.
Roughhousing provokes the child. Because, a moment before, he was riding over his opponent. But the very next moment finds himself in the dumps. As a human being who tasted the elite position a moment ago, he craves to win back his position of glory relentlessly.
The child takes pain and distress in his own stride.
While working feverishly to gain upper hand over the opponent, the child naturally encounters some small abrasions or some mild inconveniences. But the child learns the invaluable lesson of life that, “There is no gain without pain.” The child also learns, it’s worth undergoing a few temporary inconveniences to gain happiness of greater magnitude.
Roughhousing brings out the smartness from within.
Who knows there is an Einstein within your kid. As we have seen above, Roughhousing makes the child resilient, the same resilience could be used as raw material for intelligence. As a result, the child’s attitude towards failures, setbacks and disappointments changes drastically. Failure is no more a failure to the kid. It’s an opportunity to think of a new way to success.
Child’s learning capabilities increase.
As a result of roughness in Roughhousing, the level of a chemical in the brain called brain-derived Neurotrophic factor ( BDNF) increases. And this very BDNF increases the Neuron growth in the brain responsible for memory. Along with memory, the logic increases and higher learning skills also increase. And what more a child needs for his stupendous academic success?
Parent’s fears are quelled.
Parents generally feel that Roughhousing makes the child imbibe all unwanted qualities. Researches made by the child specialists prove the opposite. Children indulging in Roughhousing activities are shaped as the kids with socially adept than those who do not indulge in Roughhousing.
The biggest benefit of Roughhousing is a child distinguishes between a play and actual aggression. So it clears the fears of the parents that Roughhousing makes their kids aggressive.
You wait for your turn
Roughhousing makes the child wait for his turn of being on the ‘Top’. He knows, how a win follows a failure. He also knows nothing, neither win nor failure stays for ever. Hence no use of beating the chest and wailing for the failure. Hence the life’s lesson,” Wait for your turn.” But it doesn’t mean he will sit and do nothing until he gets his turn. He knows he has to work for his win.
Differentiates between Right and Wrong.
If you and your kid are playing Roughhousing, and if you see your kid out of over enthusiasm indulges hitting below the belt, You take over and make the kid understand that its mere play and in trying to be a winner one should not indulge in Foul Play. Thus you are sowing the seed of discrimination which makes the kid more virtuous when he grows up.
Roughhousing makes the kid physically fit.
Roughhousing is an activity that warrants for Dad’s extreme fitness and agility. Your physical fitness and alacrity will stand as an example for your kids. They see you tossing them and holding them in the air or throwing them like a sack of potatoes on the bed. This makes them think about their own fitness in order to match with you. You will not know when our kids started are seriously sweating out on a physical work out.
And that most essential ‘Father – child’ Bond takes shape.
Roughhousing teaches the kids the hidden affection and love their father has towards them. While playing roughhousing the kid sees, how ferociously and fearfully their father raises the hand to hit them and how smoothly and soothingly his hand lands on their cheek. It clearly speaks of your softness towards the kids. It sends a message to the kids the un mistakable love of a father towards the kids. When you throw the kid into the air and catch them securely, the child builds strong trust over you and this invariably builds the much necessary “Father- Child bond’
Now time to speak about Dos and Don’ts
In fact there are no rules in Roughhousing. The spirit of Roughhousing centers around “On the spot improvisation.”So need to think seriously if you are adhering to the rules or flouting the rules. If at all any rules are there to be strictly adhered to, its relating to safety of the child. Over enthusiasm may lead to injuries to the participants especially kids. Keep in your mind all the safety aspects of the spot where the game is played. The spots where much of throwing and tossing takes place. Dads should not go for too much of adventurism.
Don’t forget about the girls.
Roughhousing is not just meant for boys only. Girls too can participate. Experts say, girls who play regular roughhousing will become more confident than the girls who don’t play roughhousing.
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