Disciplining doesn't mean Physical Punishment

Parents all over knowingly or unknowingly pressurize their children to perform.They insist their children to rise and measure up to their expectations and aspirations. In this process, they ignore the child's ambitions, likes and dislikes.

  • This is how you should behave
  • This is how you should study
  • This is how you should talk with your elders, And the list of "How to" goes on and on for miles and miles together.
  • And who are the authors of these "How Tos?"
  • A rigid adult society.

There is nothing wrong if there is a code of conduct authored by elders, provided if these authors have seen  the norms with the perspective of a child before imposing the "Norms for an Ideal Child Growth."

Take the case of Shobha

Shobha keeps all the information about all the serials that come in TV. Her presence of mind should be seen to believe her amount of knowledge she acquired in the field of Movies especially when she plays 'Antyakshari'. Shobha appears so confident and composed in the above said fields.

When it comes to mathematics, the same confident and composed Shobha looks so panic struck. She appears like a child who lost her way. She picks up wrong books. She takes lot of time to  sharpen her pencil to attend her geometry homework. And suddenly we wonder where all her smartness has disappeared. She takes lot of time to finish off her homework which invariably are filled with errors and mistakes.

Its not that, Shobha always takes time to finish hewr homework. Her Homework will be finished in a flash whenever there is her favourite TV  program is about to be in the air.

Shobha never finishes her class assignments, which are supposed to be finished in the class room itself. She brings home her unfinished class work invariably every day. And due to this, her regular home work takes a back seat resulting in getting warning letters from her teachers.And all her warning letters through her parents speak of her inattentive behaviour.  Shobha's teachers are all 'Unanimous' in one aspeest. That she is talkative and she likes to talk more than anything. For this purpose Shobha constantly moves from one bench to another bench and creates interruptions in the other student's activities. It's not new for Shobha to have received punishments of 'sending out of class rooms' on many occasions.

What's the cause underneath?

Child psychologists are of the opinion, hat children like Shobha deliberately avoid anything that they don't like. That's why you see a marked difference between her activities she likes and the activities she hates. Now it's clear  because Shobha hates her academic activities, you see the 'DULL' part of Shobha. And the same Shoba exhibits her extraordinary brilliance in all her activities close to her heart.

Now, lets think for a moment that the parents of Shobha, had they detected her niche in her early childhood and allowed her any course or career that's close to her heart, we would have seen a Child prodigy.

Shobha was never observed for her inner talents and all that are against her likings are thrusted forcibly on her. As a a result her learning abilities were damaged.

 A child with learning disabilities may be facing problems in the areas of  Reading, listening and written comprehensions. The child may also have difficulty in oral expression. They lack efficiency in logic and reasoning.

What the child psychologists say?

Psychologists are affirmative about the fact that these children with learning disabilities do not have a low IQ. It's not all these children are neither handicapped nor hearing impaired. Some of the reasons attributed to learning difficulties are, heredity, problems at the time of mother's pregnancy and a very simple and unseen and unnoticed neurological impairments.

A few suggestions to parents

Observe the child

Learning disability will not occur overnight. It may have its origin somewhere in very early childhood. By observing keenly, its possible to detect the deficiencies quite early and  taking up the adequate measures, the rot can be stopped.

See the consistency of the problem

Examine if the learning disability is restricted to a single area or extending to more and more areas with time. If the areas in which the child has difficulties in learning as on today are history and geography, and the child shows learning deficiencies in History, Geography, Mathematics and Physics after an year, take it for granted, the child's learning disabilities are on the increase. And the parents should understand that it's not a welcome sign.

Don't confuse this as learning disability

Many children get confused with identifying 6 and 9. b and d. Parents should not take these normal childhood confusions  as learning disabilities. Of course, if the child continues to get confused even after the age of seven to eight years, the parent may seek the help of a child psychologist.

Is Dyslexia, a learning Disability?

No. The literal meaning of Dyslexia is 'Difficulty with words.' Children afflicted with Dyslexia have a problem in learning how to read specifically. So  the parents should know the subtle difference between these two.  All dyslexic children have learning disabilities, But all children with  learning disabilities are not dyslexic.

Not just weaknesses only, there are strengths too

Children with learning disabilities sure have difficulties in certain areas, but they have some strengths too. Each child has the ability to learn in a particular mode. Some children are good at grasping by seeing. They are known as Visual learners. Some assimilate the things by listening. They are known as Auditory learners. Those children who learn quickly by feeling, are known as  Tactile learners. And some children may need a combo of all the above methods.

Here is where the role of the parent comes to the fore. The parent has to use utmost patience and find out the most suitable system that suites their kid.

There are several methods of teaching like audio, video tapes, slides and charts which help in knowing the specific method a child can learn.

Success alone will ease the child's tension

A child can feel how its parents are trying their best to help it. In these conditions a child too will be eager to  show its positive response  to its parental hardships.

Under these conditions it's important to see the child somehow gets a victory, however small it may be. It may so happen if a child is  given smaller assignment, it may respond positively than with a larger assignments. This small insignificant success will boost the morale of the child and surely the child goes for bigger things. What all the parents are expected to do is to try different ways that ease the pressure and tension on the child.

It's a joint  responsibility

Child upbringing especially a child with learning disabilities should be taken care of equally by both Parents and teachers.

A case of Hyperactive child

Impulsive and inattentive.He starts thing. And he leves the thing with the same speed.He's easily distracted. Starts many jobs at a time and will not finish anything. He cnnot sit quiet even for a short duration of 10 minutes at a place. He is a habitual loser of things. Everyday he comes from the school with a complaint of losing something or other. He runs, climbs. slips dangerously. On lookers will be on the edge while watching him in action.  Its again the responsibility of  both the parents and teachers to cure this hyperactivity in children.

Emotionally disabled child

A death in the family causes untold damage to the minds of certain people including children. Since they have seen the death and its consequences from the close proximity, the children will  develop an obsessive fear of death. This makes them think any small ailment will cause death to them too. They live in this fear day in and day out. If its not recognized in the early stage by the parents, the child becomes a mental wreck, ultimately leading to an live as an emotionally disabled child.

Other than death for causing emotional disability in a child, there are other reasons. Sibling performance, a disturbed family condition like continuous parental differences and fights, language problems in a new place and the school due to shifting of family to name a  few.

Emotionally disabled child can be identified by these symptoms

The child is brilliant, but shows poor performance. The child remains absent from the school frequently.He neither shows interest in visiting places or playing with other children. Loses temper frequently and picks up quarrels. He shows aggressiveness.

Handle with care

Parent has to show extreme caution and patience. The best way to deal with emotionally disabled child is to come to an agreement with few conditions to be fulfilled. Simply put, the underlying principle of the agreement is "Fulfill these conditions- Enjoy Rewards."If you fail- face the penalty. Acknowledge, every good and accepted behaviour. Unaccepted behaviour attracts reprimands and punishments.

The contents of the agreement should be made clear to the child.

On the whole learning disabilities can be rectified with patience. Besides parents, teachers too should take responsibility in making the child normal.

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