Broiler children or broiler chicken?
When son didn’t get a high rank in the exams, his father told, “No problem. He can laugh while seeing jokes. That’s enough.” The great actor who told so about his son is none other the most versatile celebrity of Malayalam cine world, Srinivasan. Though he doesn’t own a glamorous face or good physique he conquered millions of Keralites through his versatile acting skills, powerful stories and screenplays, natural humour and unique direction of movies. The son is none other than Vineeth Srinivasan – a good actor, singer and director of modern times. So, it’s not at all important to get high ranks in exams than to develop a natural talent of his own.
Many parents find ‘money schemes’ or ‘bank fixed deposits’ in their kids and their future. They are considered similar to a land or gold investment that gives returns after years. They want their kid to study well and a white collar job as early as possible. Society ranks people on the basis of their salary and designations than their real talents and job satisfaction. That’s the reason why modern parents are forced to grow their kids like broiler chicken, without making them aware of the difficulties of life.
In foreign countries, kids are grown in luxurious comforts and given extra affection than what they actually need. Such kids can’t do even simple things without getting help and advice from elders. They can be scolded or given punishments as per law. Psychologists use the term ‘Broiler Children’ for defining such kids.
Water is sprinkled over broiler chicken frequently to keep them alive. Similarly without getting protection from others broiler children can’t withstand difficult situations of life.
‘Too much boiling can spill the milk’ – wise men say. Similarly giving them everything extra than what required can often act as de-catalysts for their natural growth and nourishment.
Kids should never face any difficulties in life – Every parent argue so
“I was brought up through a lot of difficulties. Due to financial troubles my parents were not able to give everything that I want. So, my kids should never grow up in such a way” – saying so, parents often give extra-comfort to their kids and gives them everything that they want in a fraction of seconds. As a result, kid may fail even in simple tests of life if he misses even simple things in life. If kids are not given proper sunshine they fade easily under hot sun.
What Buddha’s life teaches us
Prince Siddhartha was grown up by his parents like a beautiful bird in a closed golden cage. They kept him away from all sorrows of the world including death and diseases. Siddhartha never saw anyone in tears and didn’t know what the real miseries of life are –hunger, pain, anger, poverty, anger, injustice, cruelty etc. He lived in a beautiful world filled with all comforts of the world and one day he happened to see a death procession. For the first time he saw old age, death and tears. After that he lost his peace forever and left his kingdom in search of peace and truth.
Now parents bring up their kids like prince Siddhartha. But they never become Buddha. The reformation caused in Siddhartha’s mind gave light and wisdom to the world. but our kids collapse themselves when they see a death procession and the expectations of parents sink in deep seas of sorrows forever.
How to bring up kids?
Parents are always confused with this question. If they expect income from their kids in future, they can be classified into three groups according to psychologists.
Authoritarian parenting (Hitler parenting) – Here, parents make their kids obey their orders as if they are in some military camp. When kids mingle with kids ignoring the mental pressure and its condition, it gives opposite results often.
Democratic type – It’s a healthier method of bringing up kids. Such parents never see kids as future investments and they never impose over-expectations on them. When kids are being brought up with feasible dreams, they are able to shine as stars according to their tastes and talents.
Lazy-fair parenting – Either over-expectations or too careless about their kids! Majority of such parents belong to the guardian group of ‘broiler children’. It’s very dangerous to bring up kids this way.
Encourage their talents
Normally kids get advices how to improve their talents. In addition to it, parents should able to notice their talents and good habits and appreciate those good things also. It we closely watch kids’ learning skills most of them are just average students.
When kids are extra fed and given less exercises they become obese like broiler chicken. It results in lose of their natural energy and defense power. Obese kids go through deep stress and health related problems and gradually they loss self-confidence in mingling with others.
Such kids may later go through indifferences and less adjustments in married life resulting in divorces. Physically, mentally and emotionally train your kids to face problems in these three levels. Otherwise they lose their self dependency ability and always depend on other even for silly things.
Are you pampering your kid too much?
Broiler chicken are nothing short than just objects with ‘mass and life’. They never do any physical or mental activity except eating and sleeping. Do you want your kid to be brought up this way? Through better parenting it’s possible to bring him up as a ‘natural kid’ than a ‘broiler chick’. Just go through these points.
Never over-feed your kid
Never give him food according to your tastes. Instead feed him according to the capacity of his stomach and body. Broiler chicken are always being fed and kept inside a cage without giving any physical activity. If your kid is also brought up this way, he will grow fat and invite many diseases too.
Nature teaches a lot of lessons
Broiler chicken is not given freedom to move everywhere freely. It’s not different from the kids of present generation. Open your doors and windows and allow him to mingle with nature. Let him learn things from nature and develop a bond with it. Allow him to take fresh air and enjoy the beauty of greenery around. If so he will gain natural energy from nature that can improve his physical and mental development a lot. Never put him in iron cages at an age when his mind desires to fly high in deep blue skies of curiosity and knowledge.
Show less anxiety about his future
Earlier each family contains 8-10 kids. But parents were less anxious. They got full freedom too, to mingle with nature, friends and society. Now it’s an era of atomic families with one or two kids. As a result parents become more anxious about their kids. They worry even for silly things. When they express such feelings in front of their kids it affects the natural movements and behaviour of kids. At the age of 6 months when the kid starts crawling, parents put him in walkers putting ban to his natural movements. Thus kids loss their self-dependency and natural growth at an age of 6 months.
Never suppress his natural energy at a younger age
Personality development starts from the fetal stage and when he is born, his parents determine his each and every action suppressing all paths that give him physical and mental energy through natural methods. It happens from his early childhood itself. If makes kids ‘mood off’ suddenly and they may get mentally tired easily. Very often such childish acts can lead to many natural dangers in future.
Social relations are essential
Good friends, mingling with society as a social being, behaving with love and humbleness with others – are the most essential elements of social intelligence and parents often keep their kids away from them. Thus kids go far away from social life and he misses many valuable lessons that can be learnt easily from society, relationships and people. Those things are not taught at school as they give importance to academic activities and exam results. A kid who travels everyday in car feels difficult to travel in a private bus. I have just quoted a simple example. Also he feels difficulty in mingling with people of society and making new social relationships. He may feel reluctant even in attending a marriage or birthday function. He prefers to spend his leisure time in a closed room or in front of computer and social networking sites instead of mingling with society. By this way he fails to learn those bad paths that exist in society. Through mingling he can learn both good and bad and can easily identify what’s wrong. Closing himself from society closes those doors of knowledge and experiences.
He may face difficulties in solving problems
Conditions may get worse when he has to face some difficult situations of life. Since he spends maximum time around one or two persons, their thoughts and behaviour can deeply influence kid’s characteristics too. They may feel difficulties in sharing his agonies, worries, problems and even happiness with someone else. Thus extra pressure can take him to a worst situation in life.
Such kids have no emotional equilibrium
As I have told earlier, since kids are brought up as broiler chicken they lack emotions and logical reasoning. The can’t easily identify basic human relations – love, mercy, helping mentality etc and its absence can take him to a lonely island isolated from everyone. Since he never helps others he won’t seek others’ help too. Society means, living together in a friendly atmosphere with give and take policy.
While talking to kids
Over anxiety of parents pushes kids to extra-tension world. Love your kids and take care of everything. But such carings should never act as burdens. If you question kids as if they are convicts, they stop answering even simple questions. But if you do the same procedure with love and affection kids won’t hide anything from you. Also, give him enough time to tell what he carries in his mind. Never arrive at a conclusion before hearing him fully. Take enough time to say ‘NO’. Otherwise he will move far away from you easily.
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