Are you preparing your child for the future?
Protecting your child is absolutely necessary. But to what extent?
Protection of child from evil influences is the foremost criteria in the realm of 'Parenting.'As long as the degree of protection is in limits, Parenting goes in a hassle free way. But parents who are over enthusiastic tend to protect their children excessively which lead to many disastrous results in the long run.
Over protection, where it leads to ?
Parents should know that there is another world which a child has to step in and walk over it sooner than later. Prime responsibility of a parent is to train up their children to face that world.
A pampered child becomes over dependent for ever.
Don't make your children as children who hide in the comfort zone, created by you. The child grows up with a wrong impression, through out his life he would get the same protection from his parents, which is impossible.Make them experience the discomforts of life. In order to mould a child of your expectations, he should see all phases of life.
" If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders."-Abigail Van Buren
A parent should know when to say a firm NO to the whims and fancies of a child. The child should not create in impression for himself that whatever he demands will be provided in a Jiffy.
Ideal parenting starts from the family
The place and surroundings, where the child lives will play a vital role in shaping the child. One of the reasons for juvenile delinquency is a broken family. A family, where fights between the parents are a daily affair, where the father comes with a half finished liquor bottle in his hand and sends his 12 year old son to the neighborhood shop to get a soda to mix with his whisky.
No wonder such a child who was brought up in a bad and immoral environment will become a juvenile delinquent.
Parents take the children for granted. Most of the parents are living with false beliefs that each child's fate is pre- destined and nothing can be changed.
Another cause for juvenile delinquency is that deep rooted belief in the saying, 'Spare the rod and spoil the child.'
Many people think punishment as the accepted norm to discipline an erring child. This belief is anything but true. Punishment should make the child realise the reason behind the punishment. That is, the child should know the reason for his punishment. This gives an opportunity to the child to make amends.
This makes the child more cautious and with the passage of time, the child Will never commit such mistakes. On the contrary, a child should never be punished for no fault of his. For example, we are familiar with incidents where a husband beats the child because his wife refused to do some thing. Due to this reason, the man directed his ire towards the child. The child cannot understand for what he was punished. Such wrong punishments, lead the child develop a feeling of hatred and vengeance towards the parents. And this leads to disrespect to all the elders. They even do not care to respect the teachers. The result of such wrongful punishments will prove counter productive.
Make them realise their worth.
Help the child build Self esteem. The best way to lay the road for self- esteem in a child is to make them realise their Worth and that way is to allow them a few liberties as they grow up. That is judge their needs and allow them to have their needs if they are reasonable. Here the point to be noted is 'to give an opportunity' to the child to do their work of their own accord.
For example, if the child expresses his desire to call his friends to the home for a get together, allow it. Don't dictate your choice over the choice of your child's.
Parents should know about the factors that contribute for making a future ready child. Most important factor is 'Self reliance.' Before a parent equips to make a child self-reliant. In order to make a child self-reliant, he or she should know that a child has a few characteristics that help the parent. The parents should take the advantage of them.
Children by nature love to play and work. They always look for an opportunity to do some work and make their presence felt. Parents should use this trait in the children both for their and chilldren's advantage.
Make them a part of your daily chores.
A child, by nature is enthusiastic. They are good mimics. They want to make their presence felt by lending their helping hand in their own humble way. This trait if utilised in the right way and context will yield fantastic results.
Ask your five year old boy to fetch the news paper from the neighborhood news kiosk. And see the glint in his eyes, while handing over the news paper to you. The glint reflects the feelings of the young mind that he too counts in the family. That he too contribute to the family chores.
Allow this feeling to grow. And reap the rich dividends.
If by any chance, the child commits a mistake, Don't punish. Teach.
Don't snub.
As it was said earlier that most of the parents take the children for granted. They think a child cannot think on his own, hence whatever the child expresses need not be taken in to consideration. There is no truth in such a belief. A parent should know that a child too can think but may not be in a position to express properly. Give a keen hearing towards what a child says.
Take the initiative.
If what you want is to make your child prepare for future, parents should have futuristic thoughts. That is the parents should know what are the habits to be injected in the formative years that stand in good stead after his growth in to adulthood and beyond.
There is no education system better than a home and there are no better teachers than the parents. Hence good habits are to be injected are to be injected during the formative years. For this the parents should take the initiative. They should start the campaign of injecting good habits in the child.
The most preferred way is not lecturing but to set an example. Remember that the children pick up things fast. Make them see t your good habits, That's all your mission is accomplished.
In a similar manner you can set an example in maintaining family harmony. That is, there should not be any deeds by the elders in the presence of the children which hurts the children. In short, there should not be any fights or skirmishes between husband and wife. There should not be any incidents that show the presence of hatred or vengeance.
It's during this stage, a child should learn all about positive thinking. Let your toddler know that falling down while trying to learn walking us not an abnormal thing. Don't rush immediately towards your fallen toddler to lift him. Instead signal with your head indicating to get up and try once again with a smile on your lips. Thus way that you are sending the message to the child that falling down is not bad and it should not be taken to the heart.
This also drives home the point that failures are a part of life and failures should be treated as Gurus.
No place for ridiculing.
Parents should give due respect to what a child says. Yes it may sound funny. But remember don't laugh it off. This may hurt the tender heart. Instead make the child understand where his suggestion went wrong. This makes the child more determined and persevering.
Don't give in to tantrums.
Tantrums.are a way of expression of a child to draw your attention. Whenever a child feels neglected, the child raises hue and cry. It throws tantrums. Cries loudly. Rolls on the ground and pulls violently his hair. Here, the parents should check if there are any real and genuine reasons behind those tantrums.
Some times it so happens that the child due to hunger or some other inconvenience may resort to tantrum throwing. This has to be discovered by the parents.
Some times, if a kid is not allowed to have a toy of his choice, the kid resorts to tantrum throwing.The best way to deal with such tantrums for the parent is not to pay heed to those tantrums.
But never bribe your child.
Some parents in order to avoid an ugly scene that arises due to the tantrums of the child in a shopping mall or in a cinema hall, will try to hush up the child offering a bribe like chocolate or a toy. This is a bad practice which proves to be counter productive in the long run.
Parenting is a challenging task. Its a tight rope walk. Parents are advised to exercise utmost caution. If the parents' desire is to see their child exemplary, parents are bound to follow the above said precautions. It's only then you can say to yourself proudly that you prepared your child for the future.
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