Over Indulgent Parents
Parental over indulgence has become a matter of major concern in these days when both parents work. Parents seem to show their love in a materialistic manner today more than ever before. Giving their children everything they fancy has become a norm now. Parents do not seem to give a thought to whether the child needs it or not.
Overindulgence is often defined as giving more than needed which results in hindering the learning and exploring experiences of a child.
Being a parent myself, I have never given my children whatever they ask for or what ever is the fad at the moment. I only let them have what they need for that age and situation. I have a son who is fourteen. All his friends have fancy cellphones, but not mine. I am glad that his school does not encourage him carrying one too. He goes to school in a van and come back in it. The school has phones for emergency calling. I do not see the need for him to have one. My argument is he will have it when he needs it. Lets not put stuff into their hands and make them dependent on them or misuse them.
Many parents think giving their child everything is love. I am sorry to say that it is not love, but it is what psychologist call over indulgence. Children never learn to use their mind if they have things to occupy them all the time. I know of parents who complain about their teenagers texting all the time on the phone. The problem is not with the phone but with parenting. We have not set the ground rules for the usage of phones nor have we inculcated in the child a certain discipline. If giving everything was love; then love could be bought easily and it would have no value. Love is to equip the child for the future, make him/her a responsible, human being who values people and things in life.
Over indulgence is not giving things alone, its is also over doing things for the child. Indian parents seem to have a knack of doing this, they polish the child's shoes, feed a child who doesn't need any help to eat, doing the child's work etc. All these things hinder the child's psychological and social growth to a large extent.
Having no clear rules or disciplines is another form of over indulgence. I have heard parents says, 'Its okay, he is small' to excuse a child's behavior. This shows the lack of disciplining on the part of the parents. Children needs rules to help them learn acceptable behavior. This sets the foundations for a child's social interactions as he/she grows up.
While indulgence may seem like love, it hinders the child's growth and development. It makes the child highly dependent, selfish and unmanageable as he/she grows up. It is the duty of parents to help children grow into responsible, free and mature human beings. Love your children, don't give them stuff they don't need.
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