How to make a Marriage last forever
Marriage
according to Hindu custom marriage is merging of two lives with a purpose to perform jointly Four duties. They are Dharma (duty), Artha (Possessions), Kama ( Physical desires) and Moksha (Salvation). In a nut shell for every human being it is necessary to perform 4 most important duties during their life tme. And performing of duty is possible only by a male and female. With this concept in view The word Marriage has taken birth. The Sanskrit word for Marriage is Vivaha. Vivaha means a very special dedication.
Marriage in the modern lingo is defined as, "Two lives united in to one legally and declared as Man and Wife."
Nowhere one sees the definition of Marriage, so vividly explained and the aims and objectives of marriage so clearly depicted.There is sacredness, holiness, respect and reverence embedded in the Hindu Marriage system. Owing to this reason any sort of violations in the Hindu marriage system is considered as a sacrilege. For the same reason, one will find less number of divorces in this system.
Why one needs marriage
According to Hindu Mythology, everybody carries 3 debts on his shoulder right from the birth. This is binding on every Hindu. So, in order to pay back these debts, one has to get married.
The three Debts
Whatever knowledge one acquires from the seers (Rishi) has to be passed on to the next generations.That's why, this debt is known as Rishi Runam. Rishi means Seers or wise men. Runam means debt.Hence this debt is known as "Rishi Runam"
Panch Bhutas means 5 elements. All humans are indebted to the 5 elements namely we are indebted to the Sun for giving us the light.Agni for giving us fire,Vayu for wind and Varun for rain through which, we get water and the earth for giving us food.So its implied that all human beings are bound to pay the debt to Pancha Bhutas. This debt is known as Deva Runam .Here Deva means Gods
Pithru Runam means debt to our parents. Our parents gave us birth and a happy life to us. So in order to pay back the debt to our parents its necessary to marry.
We have seen why marriage is necessary for us according to Hindu system.Everyone of us will long for a happy married life. Unfortunately many are not that fortunate to enjoy the marital bliss due to lack of awareness and ego problems. And owing to this malady, many marriages are breaking or on the verge of breaking.
What are those secrets of married people who are enjoying the bounty of blissful married life?
A clear Picture
Prior to marriage, they form a clear pictuure of each. They have an undistorted picture of their aspirations and expectations. They also discuss in depth about the feasibility of their respective expectations. In other words they will not leave any scope for ambiguity which may lead to complcated issues in future.
Individuality at any cost
Prior to marriage, you were independent. You alwas used to refer anything connected with you as, 'My likes, My dislikes, my views, mypreferences, 'depicting and declaring loudly about your own individuality.
After marriage, without your knowledge a tiny tint of 'Dependability' creeps into yout lives. Now the erstwhile 'MY' becomes 'US'. But its not a problem for cuccessful couples.They see to it that both your individualities are kept safely in their individual slots without clashing with each other.
No conflicts, only Harmony
Successful couples do not believe in induging in disputes on trivialities. Because they are aware the pivot on which a Blissful marriage rests is a sturdy stand of , "No conflicts.". They do believe that there is a way to resolve any problem. Its here the successful couples score over their unsuccessful counterparts.
They negotiate, discuss, exchange views to arrive at a solution that ensures an atmosphere of Harmony and Peace. They don't believe in " Winners and Losers". They believe in "Win -Win" concept, where in both are winners.
Core Values at the top
Marriage brings people close. So close, they forget all about that Etiquette that used to be there before marriage. But its not so in the case of successful couples. Small things are not forgotten when they are out. They serve each other. They help each other. They lesten intently each other. Thus, they ensure both of them in the limelight.
Romance always in the air.
The intensity of love and togetherness will slowdown not because of losing interest on each other after some time. The foremost cause that diminishes the intensity is Child Birth. But the successful couple will not allow this happen. They keep alive their light of lust. There won't be any sexual drought. If at all, if that happens, they compensate with flirting, touching, hugging and even with looks that can start a fire. Above all they update their mutual sex needs with religious regularity.
Growing together, the top agenda.
With the passage of time, changes are bound to happen. Those ideals before th marriage will take back seat. New priorities will come and sit in the front seat. Such scenario may lead to friction and turbulance in the family. But the successful couple will not become prey to these changes. They know under what conditions people are forced to accept unpredictale changes. They adfjust to their partner's new ways. Such changes in either of them will be accepted wholeheartedly without any friction.
They don't take the Mrriage for granted
Once the marriage takes place many couples have a false sense of complacency. They think any amount of lapses in their married life will not shake the foundations of marriage. This belief is far from truth. Successful couples will not think so. They will not give any chance for complacency take charge over them.
They often review their journey. Look back and see if their married life is going in accordance with their aspirations and ambitions they dreamed before their marriage. If they are up to their satisfaction, they think of introducing new ways to further their happiness. If they are not, they implement remedial measures.
The real beneficiaries
Those who understand the meaning and value of Marriage or Wedlock or Alliance will never deviate from the very basics of marriage. Our Peers set the norms for a marriage.
The Hindu Marriage traditions are universal
The most important factor in a Hindu marriage is Fire, one of the Five elements. Here the fire plays an important role in acting as a witness to the greatest event in a human's life. Hindus believe that the Fire or Homam as the mediator between the human and the God. Owing to this reason , the couple walk around the sacred fire Seven Steps or Sapta Padi taking an oath they stay together with deermination and commitment during happy moments of life as well as sad moments. They take an oath that they stay together and strive for the welfare of the family standing as a firm support to each other braving the storms and calamities.
This very commitment is the main cause for the solidity and strength of a marriage . Such marriages create great families. The offsprings that come out of this wedlock will become the trail blazers and Path finders. They are the inspiration to the society.
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