Separation or divorce of parents and its effect on child.
Marriage is a happy moment to a couple as it helps to come closer for the rest of life. A man and a woman take oath to remain and to live for each other. They dream for future and work for the next generation. But dreams may break. Due to some problem or misunderstanding, a couple may want separation or divorce. Causes may be many, I am not going to find out that but want to say if it happens before the birth of any child, may be good. To a child it is very unfortunate to see or feel the separation of their parents. To a child it can be very stressful or sad and sometime confusing. They may feel angry also due to this act of their parents.
Some needs of a child
As a child he/she needs both and wants to remain all together with parents. A child knows the importance of father and mother in life. They want a beautiful and sweet home where they can live peacefully with parents with love and affection. Children love to learn everything from parents in childhood.
So try to fulfill the needs of child. If separation or divorce is unavoidable then please maintain some guidelines.
Maintain a working relationship with wife. Give sufficient time to kids and help them in their daily activities. Keep in mind that behave like such so that your child does not feel stress and sad. Your co-operation will make him/her happy, as in childhood he/she may not able to understand everything.
Then select a time to tell the truth
When the child will be able to understand everything then tell the true fact. You both may be asked some questions by the children, but talk with patience. Tell the actual fact and don’t blame anybody for separation. Give all information and future plan and give him/her word to love forever. Be respectful to your spouse and your child will understand everything and will not give blame to parents.
To a kid the separation of parents may be a great loss. She/he may feel that he/she have lost something. Here there are some duties as you both are parents. Listen to him/her and encourage them to be a good child like others. Share their feelings, so that they never fall in frustration. Help them in their daily activities and fulfill their all necessities. Help them to be honest and acknowledge this feelings if any.
Some probable causes of divorce
Financial- Most couple can not explain the financial situation before marriage, but after marriage it comes in front. Then the relationship may fall and they want divorce. Many also cover the position willingly before marriage. This should not be happened.
Lack of sexual relationship- sexual problem may be another cause of divorce. In India sexual relation is done after marriage and if the couple is not satisfied after marriage, they may go for separation and many times they find a new partner.
Family problem- Many times family problem may be a cause. The lack of understanding and the war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be other causes of separation and divorce.
Above these there are hundred of causes like torturing, status problem or any affairs from teenage etc. So many times if the opinion and commitment change after marriage then also divorce takes place.
Some tips to avoid divorce
- Be honest- Be honest to each other. Don’t make any wrong presentation of self before marriage. Some times before marriage a boy or a girl said and gave wrong information to be more attractive, but when the truth comes in front then there is a chance to break the relationship. Lie can not be hidden forever.
- Respect to each other- It is a most important thing to maintain any relationship in society. One should not make fun of others in any situation.
- Be careful to each other- Take care of each other. Acknowledge each others positive attitudes and if anybody falls in any problem, try to solve jointly.
- Don’t quarrel- Sometimes if one gets angry, don’t make quarrel and don’t try to establish your own word. Be calm and sit together later to discuss the matter. Solution may come through talking not by making quarrel.
- Give some times to each other- Give some times to each other at least once in a day (if possible). In some family, couple both do jobs in outside. They may remain busy in whole day. But after returning home share few moments with each other.
- Think about yours child’s future- This is another important matter which should be kept in mind. Take care about yours child’s future. Father and mother are the most closest to a child. They may get confused seeing you both after separation.
I have already said that divorce and separation is not expected to anyone but some times it happens when there is no another way of understanding. If the couple remain honest to each other and respect their position then such circumstances will never come. Divorce or separation is not happened in one day. After some misunderstanding it may happen. Nobody thought about separation previously
I pray to God that such bad matter never come in anybodies life. Have a nice married life to all married couple.
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