Home is where the heart is

They say, there is no educational institution like home. No teachers like parents. So true. As Samuel Smiles puts it, " Home is the first and most important school of character.It's there that every human being receives his best moral training or his worst, for it's there that he imbibes those principles of conduct which endure through manhood and cease only with life.

From the above quote, its evident the place of a home and parents are extremely crucial in the process of  "Upbringing of a child." A child can shape into an ideal citizen or a juvenile delinquent depending on the Home, the institution and Parents, the teachers. Children with tolerance, pleasing manners and affectionate attitude can easily be identified. One can straight away say they were brought up in a home where parental attitude is congenial for an ideal and healthy growth of a child. Children who hail from a home that favours the growth of ideal children are o only successful, but possess intellectual skills.

On the other hand, children who hail from homes unfavourable for child growth are intolerant, without intellectual qualities and impulsive.

From this one can understand the role of a home and the parents who run the home.The quality of the home depends on the characteristics of the parents.  Their child upbringing practices. The background from which they came, Their beliefs, traditions , personal beliefs and prejudices and their effects contribute a lot in the quality of the child who comes out of such homes.

Simply put Parenting is a skill like any other skill. It's not necessary that only a blessed few are eligible to master this skill. It has got nothing to do with the education or social status. A person from a humble background can be a better parent than a person who hails from a rich and sophisticated background.

It's also to be learnt that the best of the ideal home conditions and knowledgeable parents are not an assurance of ideal children. This is due to the reason the parents's unassertive implementation of the parental curriculum. Parents who are both assertive and supportive will reap the best of the benefits.

Now we have seen what are the conditions necessary for an ideal child upbringing. Ideal conditions are not those which are inherent in a select few homes. They can be created even in a humble home.

At the very outset, I said, Home is where the heart is. Now let's discuss in detail. What makes a house a hearty abode. Why a house will get that eligibility and how?

What's an ideal Abode?

In my opinion the first and foremost criteria for an ideal abode is where parents love each other.In the words of Frederic W. Robertson

Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guard and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where the expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.

Parental interest should be visible in every pore of the house so that the child will never feel isolated and neglected. Even a small achievement of the kid is viewed and celebrated as an event that motivates the child to handle complex jobs with ease and elan.Such homes are ideal homes.

See the case of Lata, the eldest of three children of a highly educated and working parents. Lata's mother Uma and father Raj gopal are working as executives in a bank Both Lata and her husband, never fail to attend the needs of their children despite their busy schedules. They planned their home activities in such an impeccable way that children never feel the absence of their parents in any day to day activities.

Whenever there is an opportunity for a get together of all the family members, Parents and children go all out to grab such opportunity and make it a memorable event. The overall effect of all the endeavors of the family members is a happy home.

This is the  ideal abode, a breeding ground for every thing that's good under the Sun. And this is the home that produces champions.

What is not an ideal home

A home, where there is strife of one kind or other,where there is no harmony and love in the parents, where the families are broken, there is not en an iota of chance for child development. Where parents have out dated notions about child upbringing like strict discipline involving severe punishments, a child cannot bloom. Such homes are not ideal homes.

Have a look at the examples drawn from different cross sections of the society.

Venkat

Venkat, 13 is the only son of Subba Rao and Suseela. Venkat is the youngest. Above him , he has seven sisters. Subba Rao's out dated belief that nthere is no salvation for him with out having a son. Owing to this reason, he relentlessly tried for a son. But he could succeed only after seven daughters. Due to this reason Venkat was given a special status in the family. He was pampered. He has become inconsiderate and self- centered. Venkat's parents fulfill all the demands of venkat. In no time, Venkat became an addict of drugs and alcohol and became a notorious wagon breaker. By the time he reached 19 years, Venkat has earnedf a place in the 'most wanted list" of the police.

Vivek

Vivek's mother Lakshmi is of the firm opinion that, all other children are in the neighbour hood are unclean with dirty habits. So she ensures Vivek is well protected from dawn to dusk. She forced on him dozens of DON'ts. Consequent to this Vivek has become a lifeless doll that plays according to his mother's whims and fancies. Vivek was so over protected that he has become practically 'Spineless.' For every thing he does, he gets a prior approval from his mother Lakshmi

Vardhan

Vardhan is the son of a bureaucrat Subrahmanyam,  who is a strict discipinarian. And his wife Sundari shudders even at the shadow of her husband. Subrahmanyam made a wonfderful plan (That's what he thinks) for Vardhan that ensured a bright career to his only son. While drafting a career plan for his son Vardhan, he never took the views of Vardhan for whom, the plan was drawn. Because Subrahmanyam is quite affirmative about Vardhan's mind set, which according to Subrahmanyam is blank. That's why Subrahmanyam thought it's not necessary to inform or consult Vardhan.

What all the above stories tell about Homes and Families?

 Home is not just a structure made of bricks and mortar. They are the smallest units of the society intended to build a society where the future citizens are made. where the parents act as the role models to their children injecting self confidence and self reliance to enable them to live independently without becoming a burden to the society.

Finally I conclude with the famous quote of George Santayana

The Family is one of Nature's Masterpieces. Bright dreams of its members and ark realities of life compete with each other to colour this Masterpiece. Family is a microcosm embracing intricate interpersonal relationships. The maintenance of dynamic equilibrium betweens the ambitions, dfemands and commandfs of the parents and the capabilities, strivings and performance of the children is a must for the sustenance of this little world.


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