Love or lust – Is it possible to identify?
How many incidents are we hearing and reading in newspaper daily? Class mates ran away from school and till now, no information about them! Girl ran away from home was gang raped by her lover and friends! Girl of 15 years old ran away with her class mate or a shopkeeper of neighbourhood! It’s sure, such incidents are most occurring in the age of teens – below 20, the most reckless age of a person whole through the life, the time when he or she is standing at the doorstep leading towards youthful life. That age is simply like a beautiful dream and kids want to fly like a colourful butterfly free of tensions. They assume that everything around them is nothing short of a beautiful dream and they think that all are real. That’s the reason why teenagers may get into any bad habit or love relation easily. They may start a relationship easily and may break it easier. But in some cases, they begin to think that it’s real and they may leave everything in sake of that single relationship – their loving parents, studies, career and everything. When they recognize it, it may be too late.
Why kids believe a stranger suddenly?
It may occur in just a fraction of second – a new relationship! Is it love or is it just a lust? How many kids are really thinking it twice before falling into a relationship? Sudden attraction may end simply as external beauty and way of talk is given first preference. If he or she is able to get over it, it’s ok. But very often, they may lose concentration in studies and may even assume parents to be their enemies. How many incidents are we hearing – a boy committed suicide due to love failure, lovers committed suicide as parents didn’t approve their relationship, depressions of teens etc.
Teen age is an age of attraction and a period of new experiences. That’s the reason why they often fail to recognize if it’s just a lust or love. Very often, they never notice the hidden traps behind such relationships. They just fall like flies attracted by the beauty of fire. But it’s also true that some love relations are really sincere too.
It’s difficult to identify if it’s lust or love
Only time can find the real answer. That’s the truth. Sometimes, the most sincere relationships may start with simple reasons while it’s also possible that complex relations may end assuming it to be ‘just lust’. That’s why I told, it’s not easy to identify it.
Many persons give the name ‘frailty’ to love. Those persons belong to the category, ‘I don’t believe in love’. Those persons who believe in love may easily fall in lust too. Only remedy is to give enough time to love to prove that it’s right. Otherwise forget it as a beautiful dream. Never carry forward it to your future.
What’s the role of parents here?
Parents are of two types – those who are friendly and those who treat their kids bad if they happen to hear about love affair of their kid. For such parents notice – it’s true, no parent wants their kid to fall in a relationship and they dream of a marriage with their consent. But nowadays such happenings are rare. Very often it occurs due to bad handling of the situation. Let me explain it with the help of a recent heard incident.
The girl of the story is of age 19. A single child to her parents got after 10 years of marriage; who was doing her degree course in fashion technology. She is the most brilliant student of the class and has a lot of hobbies like painting, art, embroidery etc. But surprisingly she fell in love with a neighbour boy of a poor Harijan family. He is not smart or handsome and he has not even completed his school studies. But this boy is of nice character. She belongs to a high society family. When parents came to know about it, they stopped her sending to college and she was given home arrest. Result – she ran away with the boy when got an opportunity. She didn’t even care to complete her studies. If parents had shown a little patience and asked her to think calm, she might not have run away at the age of 19. When parents showed resistance, the lust acted as true love and she left everything in a moment. Perhaps, in future, she might repent over the hasty act. Deeply hurt, parents left the place and settled in somewhere else. Where is the fault? Whom should we blame – parents or that girl?
Girl should have completed her studies before taking such a hasty decision. But when her parents became strict, she saw enemies in her dear parents and she couldn’t tolerate them even for a single moment and it resulted in her flee. Perhaps she might have felt shy in looking at her parents’ faces. But if they have advised her to remain patient and wait till the end of studies she might have recognized if it’s true love or not and if it’s practical.
In some cases, such relationships last forever. But no one can guarantee 100% that the person whom she believes will protect her entire life. Some persons may leave her after some days or sell her to someone else. For a relationship to remain strong, it should be powerful from both ends, not from a single person only. Otherwise it may end as one-sided love giving agonies to any one.
Think patiently before taking a decision
All things may appear sweet at first and sour after sometime. Only time can determine if the relationship remains sweet forever. When you are in lust, it’s just like a magic world where reality is hidden somewhere behind the curtains. What we see through our eyes may be a trick similar to a magician performing a magic. If we assume that it’s true, it may result in tensions, depressions and even suicide. Some marks may remain in mind forever. How many cases are we hearing teenager girl becoming pregnant and later, the boy betrays her! So, before believing a person, think several times. No one is going to conduct a hasty marriage. It needs time. Complete your studies first and earn a job. If you wait with patience for real love, it is sure, it will return. Otherwise, why can’t you leave it as just a lust? Even if marriage happens, no one can ensure that the relationship with stay alive for ever. If so, why divorces happening in love marriages even after taking that decision after a lot of thinking?
Is it possible to recognize true love?
Lust fades in absence while true love intensifies in absence. Try to assume it just as an infatuation and if again it returns back, it can be identified as true love. If love is sincere, promises are to be kept and beliefs intact. Once committed, it’s not at all easy to get out of it. Instead of relaying on friends and seeking their opinion, it’s always best to take your own decision taking a little time. Friends may often mislead you. Your mind is your best friend who knows you more than anyone else in the world. Ask it several times to give an answer and never take any hasty decision – approving or even rejecting a relation so that you will never repent later.
So, let me conclude
It’s not easy to say if real love has happened or if it’s just a lust. Lust fades more quickly than you think while real love stays till the end of life as a dew drop. Lust happens more than once while real love never happens so easily. So, give enough time before giving word or reaching a conclusion. If it’s the case of parents, just see it as a phase of the kid’s physical and mental development and talk to them patiently than taking harsh and hasty decisions. Give them time so that they can decide their future. Always make them remember that studies and career building is very important before marriage life that gives solid basement to their future and dreams. It’s sure, if parents are able to deal the situation patiently and behave like their friends, kids won’t fall in any false traps for sure. Also, if the love is not just a lust, approve their relationship giving all blessings because true relations happen only rare.
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