Instant love instant conflict
Introduction
With time the definition of love has changed for people and society. Many people advocate the idea of instant love and instant marriage. But this has brought its problems. The sooner one is at love and marriage the sooner conflicts start. In the society of today instant food or fast food is available and it brings satisfaction, but the same cannot be said of instant love. To make relationships works there has to be love and understanding which does not occur instantly. The lack of time today has affected relationships. People want love instantly. But why are people seeking instant love today? let us check out.
Lack of time
People do not have the time run after things. If a thing cannot be obtained immediately it is not worthy of being obtained at all. Even those in love relationships, the sexual contact has to be made in a few short meetings. Nobody has the time to give full attention to the requirements of the relationships. Even when couples do have the time they do not know what to say to each other. Romantic chats are seldom done. Many chats lead to useless arguments.
Changing times
Lack of time has brought about different requirements in people. A successful relationship is determined by status and money, not by compatibility. Many people do not believe in wasting time in useless romance. Therefore romance is viewed only as a formality to get to sex or marriage. People also have started lacking patience which reflects on love relationships. Tolerance and adjustment have started becoming outdated words in relationships. Nobody wants to strive hard to maintain relationships anymore. The charm of 'playing hard to get' is concerned outdated and nobody has time for such games anymore.
Lonliness and depression
Man has evolved scientifically and technologically but not as far as relationships are concerned. Fed up of working in a stressful environment, Man wants a change in his relationships. He wants somebody who loves him and understands him. He wants somebody to spend time with him and to make him feel loved. But this does not easily happen and so people start looking for 'instant relationships'.
Fragile love
Love based on need does not stay for long. And love needs time to become strong. 'instant love' does not survive and can get broken as fast as it is born. This is because 'instant love' does not have tolerance, patience, trust and understanding. Some people concentrate only on the sexual part of the love relationship and when sex becomes monotonous, the relationship starts suffering.
The needs of depressed people
It can also be said that the need of 'instant love' is generated by people who are depressed and feeling hopeless. During such times one is eager of being loved or being heard. At such times one is attracted to any person who shows sympathy. One feels that one has found his or her soul-mate during such times. Instant love develops and is usually accompanied by instant marriage.
The world of fantasy
For many people love means fun and pleasure. This is true specially for young people. They think love is something that only fulfills their needs and fantasies. For some people love is sex while for another person love is timepass. Many people term 'lust' as 'love'. Some people have a habit of experimenting. Therefore they look at love only as a playground of sexual exploration. In such relationships when desire dies, so does the love.
Love as a fashion statement
Today falling in love has become a status symbol. A boy or a girl feels incomplete in society without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Even school children are following this trend these days. A girl or boy who does not have a boyfriend or girlfriend gets an inferiority complex. Therefore he or she also starts running around to look for an immediate partner for 'instant love'. Unfortunately partners who come instantly also leave one's life instantly.
Stay good friends first
People start focusing on the sexual and romantic aspects of their relationship without being friends first. This is a big mistake. As a result the 'love' the feel wears of soon just like face make-up. The first thing you have to do is to strengthen your friendship and give time to each other. Never be in a hurry. Time will build up the love and trust between you and your prospective partner. Introduce 'love' only when your friendship has reached a mature level.
Easy availabilty of partners
Today women are not confined to kitchens. Many women are working. Dating and interaction between boys and girls has become easier and more common. In such conditions it has become easier for 'instant love' to develop. It is seen that the faster one gets a partner, the faster one looses him or her. But people are not bothered. When they loose a partner they immediately go on for the look out for another one.
Too much expectation
Another reason why many 'instant love' relationships break today is because we place too many expectations on partners. We expect a partner to be 'perfect' even though we are not 'perfect' ourselves. We seek talents in our partners which are based solely on fantasies. Many of us are selfish and we don't bother to ask our self 'Do I also have everything that will make my partner happy'? We expect only our partner to change in relationships without changing our-self.
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