That is a good one anil, basically men and women too wanted ladies to stay in ghoongat because they felt insecure and lacked trust

usha manohar wrote:

That is a good one anil, basically men and women too wanted ladies to stay in ghoongat because they felt insecure and lacked trust

Oh you are talking about 19 century, present generation of women and men don't like ghgoongat. My family is traditional Rajasthani, but we have not tradition of ghgoongat.

anil wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

That is a good one anil, basically men and women too wanted ladies to stay in ghoongat because they felt insecure and lacked trust

Oh you are talking about 19 century, present generation of women and men don't like ghgoongat. My family is traditional Rajasthani, but we have not tradition of ghgoongat.

 

 What you said is true. You have set an example, though you are a Rajasthani by breaking away age old tradition. Himmat Walah hai Tum. Mubarak ho !!!!

 

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Gulshan Kumar Ajmani wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

Gulshan Kumar Ajmani wrote:

First impression is appearance. Dress is the first impression. How you address comes next.  When you dress in a bizarre way or behave differently, you attract attention and remarks.  It is not nice to comment on what some body wears but there is no way out.  There is a sound advice in Punjabi- Eat what you like but dress what others like.  

Then one has to be in ghongat only. 

No. Ghoongat only for the newly wed and that too only in presence of elderly visitors.  No need for ghoonghat all the time. This is just a formality. Mostly women don't wear ghoonghat even in presence of elders. But for a newly wed this is considered desirable for at least first year. 

After first year the daughter-in-law is free to wear whatever they want because only the first year demands decency. This is pathetic. I believe in a decent dressing sense and that can be either in Indian traditional attires as well as in western dresses. Even in Indian dresses one can dress up very indecently so why to make this fuss about dresses. Having gonghat and bitching elders can go together but not taking gonghat and paying respect to the elders do not match in your opinion, right? 

Ghoonghat is a very short period formality and not a norm even for whole year. Now virtually there is no ghoonghat but wearing this just for some time is symbolic and need not be bothered too much. These days, there are only nuclear families and occasion to display ghoonghat is very rare and symbolic and not even inconvenient. As a matter of fact, even the groom and bride groom dress appears uncomfortable but that is worn on day of marriage. 

usha manohar wrote:

Wearing a sleeveless blouse is accepted almost everywhere. So I am surprised that comments were passed even on that , when ladies wear halter neck and off the shoulder blouses with sarees..how ever, I feel that one should ideally dress according to the occasion and also blend in rather than stick out and attract unwanted attention.

Usha, you know that in Bengali families wearing sleeve blouses is a very general thing and widely accepted norm. Even the elder ladies wear sleeveless blouses over saris very comfortably and carry it easily. It is not an issue in cosmopolitan cities such as Bangalore, Mumbai, Calcutta, Hyderabad, Pune and other places. But Tamil Nadu is still quite traditional and conservative and in Chennai too, such dress codes are not accepted as easily although there are some exceptions.  So there is still a long way to  go where mindset about such things go.

vijay wrote:

The persons passing such comments are fast depleting in numbers. best to ignore them.

the women or girls who wears that sort of a dress, she doesn't have any defect in herself the defect lies on the person who passes that kind of a comments and yeah best to ignore them. 

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Wearing a sleeveless blouse is accepted almost everywhere. So I am surprised that comments were passed even on that , when ladies wear halter neck and off the shoulder blouses with sarees..how ever, I feel that one should ideally dress according to the occasion and also blend in rather than stick out and attract unwanted attention.

Usha, you know that in Bengali families wearing sleeve blouses is a very general thing and widely accepted norm. Even the elder ladies wear sleeveless blouses over saris very comfortably and carry it easily. It is not an issue in cosmopolitan cities such as Bangalore, Mumbai, Calcutta, Hyderabad, Pune and other places. But Tamil Nadu is still quite traditional and conservative and in Chennai too, such dress codes are not accepted as easily although there are some exceptions.  So there is still a long way to  go where mindset about such things go.

Being a Bengali I must say that Bengali ladies are quite comfortable in sarees with sleeve blouse as well as with sleeveless blouse. It all depends upon the lady what she prefers to wear. Even there are young ladies who never wear sleeveless blouses or to say any sleeveless dress but there are aged ladies who prefer to wear sleeveless because they wore it from their early age. Even sleeve blouse can draw flaks because it depends upon the mentality of the person who criticises. I believe in dressing according to the occasion and gathering but at every point I am for such a dressing which can be carried of properly. One should not wear any kind of dress only because it is in fashion but it has to look decent on a particular person.

Madam, please note the city is not Chennai, which is now becoming very modern.  No one bothers there.  However, what happened at Coimbatore and in Chitoor, in AP, is what I saw, by way of personal experience.  May be, times will slowly change here too, with the passage of time.

Yes, time will definitely change the thinking of people. Metros are always different from other cities and small cities will take its own sweet time to accept the changes in dressing style. It is not possible to accept the changes all of a sudden.

What to wear and what not to wear are the personal choices of an individual. I'm from AP, basically a tradition bound state in which age old practices in dress wearing are still prevalent. But, I feel, even in these tradition bound states, of late I'm seeing changes presently. It indicates how a trend takes place gradually. In this regard some states like West Bengal, Karnataka.. are ahead. Hence, it is understood a change doesn't take place overnight.