Spare the rod and spoil the child

" Spare the rod and spoil the child " is all about the Child Upbringing.. Each person's knowledge of How to raise the child comes from their surroundings and their own upbringing.. I'm of the opinion that Discipline is necessary. To bring up a Child some parents apply strict disciplinary methods. While other Parents use very liberal ways. Both methods are not good. There should be an in between way

For this, i can suggest a few methods of Child Upbringing.

Parents should be the Role Models. Parents should express their Unconditional love for their children as well as provide them with the continued support, they need to become self assured and Happy.

Spending enough time with the children, constant communication with the children too will help.

Very valid points. 

Parenting is challenging job.. Children often ask questions that may cause irritation to the parents. In such conditions, Parents should exercise utmost patience. Remember, in parenting Patience pays. Taking time to point out how things are connected, for example in terms of cause and effect will yield satisfactory results.

On paper it works. But there are so many times when things get out of hand. Its so very difficult to keep calm. 

That is why, I said parents should exercise utmost patience.. I have seen many successful parents getting good results. by implementing the methods I mentioned. My own Sister in Law;s son was a mischievous child and always restless in his early years.  He never sits in a place calmly even for a minute in one place. Then I found, what actually the boy was interested in. I gave him a set of crayons and a few white papers. Thats all. For the first time he sat in a place for more than an hour.

This is how parents should experiment what the child likes and do the needful.

This topic has been discussed inside out at least two or three times before on this forum! However, I am totally against any kind of physical punishment to children. I have three children and although they used to drive me up the wall several times a day, I never felt the need to use the rod , ever! The worst I did was to scream at them and burst into tears when they were uncontrollable and that did help in calming them down. 

To be very honest I am against any physical punishment but I failed to follow my own opinion. I remember, I used to protect my nephews from physical scolding but as a mother I have sometimes slapped my son. Well, not regularly but very occasionally. Now, he is fourteen years old and I have controlled myself from hitting him. Handling a teenager is a very sensitive matter so I have to be very cautious. I do scream at him, become strict but no physical punishment. I lack patience that my son also knows so I compensate with lots of love and hug once I come to terms and become cool.

@shampa... Same here...my son is only 5...I often loose my temper with him... Even I try to limit myself to scolding n screaming... But many a times I do cross the limit...but I too feel immensely sad afterwards... Hoping for ths phase to pass soon 

It is out of sync with changing times - an anachronism. The author of this proverb must have been venting acute frustration in dealing with a child. You spoil the rod as well as the future of your child. I would reserve this punishment for some of our spoiled parents!!

Divya wrote:

@shampa... Same here...my son is only 5...I often loose my temper with him... Even I try to limit myself to scolding n screaming... But many a times I do cross the limit...but I too feel immensely sad afterwards... Hoping for ths phase to pass soon 

I can't say about every parent but in most of the cases I feel the children become the scapegoat of their parents' stress. The parents are burdened with lots of responsibilities and things to fix along with disputes all around. In such a situation they loose their temper and while venting out children become the soft target. This is the worst practice so we need to control ourselves. Nowadays, I definitely scold him verbally whenever he ignores what I say but no physical one. His father has slapped him only once or twice till date. At this growing age he is becoming stubborn as well as making some wrong choices so we do get offended and rebuke him in a strict fashion but always remain careful that we don't become abusive.