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  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    usha manohar
    Basileus
    704 19.5k 126.1k
    Shampa Sadhya wrote:

    @usha manohar I am not saying that women are not subjected to domestic violence. That percentage is high but that does not mean, men and their families are not getting ruined by such false cases. That percentage is less but growing day by day. They only can understand who have seen their loved ones getting falsely implicated and leading them to a shattered life. In the urban educated society it is becoming a routine problem and if we say that women are not selfish at all then it will be hilarious. I agree illiterate and poor women are the huge sufferers of domestic violence but in urban society women are misusing it with the help of their biological family. I have witnessed many such case. The men avoid to speak about domestic violence that does not mean some of them are not victims. As @rambabu said about the new law, that is very true or else earlier the boy's family were not even given a chance to present their side of the story. Thus, they land up into jail, loss of job, honour shattered, death of the aged people due to shock and what not. Both the parties are sufferer maybe males are less in number but if its not controlled then one day every young men would be behind the bars and the world is controlled by fake women.  

    We all form opinions going by our own personal experiences ...From what I have seen, earlier a woman had to put up with both physical and mental abuse by husband and his family and not speak about it whereas now they come out in the open ! This new found freedom might at times backfire n them because they may use it at the slightest provocation and this is bound to happen ...However, it is still a very imbalanced society that we have where women's rights are concerned.. Rambabu's case , although I don't know the details is really sad, because of the suffering it has caused him and his family. 

    But there are thousands of women out there silently suffering because they have no one to support them either by giving them the right advise nor do they have the financial means to file a case against their husbands who badger them day in and day out! Of course I am all for the amendment in the law because any law should be equal to all the citizens !


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    rambabu
    Perandor
    1.49k 32k 218.8k

    I agree.Amended Domestic violence  law did not  help the woes of women to fullest amount. Though the law reduced the instances of abuse, But as you said women's sufferings and woes did not come to a grinding halt. There is much to be done to give succor  to the suffering lot of woman

     


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    Shampa Sadhya
    Platinum Mate
    56 1.65k 11.2k

    I have seen men as well as women suffering in their respective marriages. I am definitely against those men and his family who treat their wives awfully and they should be booked. Likewise women who make the lives of their husbands and in-laws a hell by keeping them under the threat of law should be as well punished by law. Those wives who file false cases are the wretched human beings. I have agreed earlier that this percentage is lesser than the domestic violence case against women and basically confined to urban cities but if legally it is not controlled now then it will ruin the whole society. Actually, we are biased about women and that's why whenever we talk about sufferings of men then we try to find fault in men only. Those who face such situations from close quarter they only can feel the pain. 


    shampasaid


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    anil
    MAESTRO MATE
    220 6.73k 39.2k
    rambabu wrote:
    anil wrote:
    rambabu wrote:

    Most of the parents   fee that a girl is a burden to them. Which is why they hurry up to get their marriage performed at the earliest. But today's girls think One ideally completes her Master’s degree by 24 years of age. In today’s world, 24 years is not too late to get married.

    I am not agree with you Rambabu. Girls are never burden of the parents. Parents love and like daughter like sun. But at present safety and security of daughter is problem. Only father of daughter can understand it. Beside parents wants that daughter should capable of facing any harshment in life. They prefer to educate them well. I have two daughters. One is doing internship after completing LL.B. Another is doing B.Ed. 

     

     Its the general belief in most of the parents. Because of heavy dowry problems. In AP, only for this reason girl child is being killed or thrown away.

    Heavy dowry is not problem in AP only. In most of states heavy dowry is demanded by groom family. My community, agarwal defame for demanding heavy dowry.have heavy dowry system.

     

     

     


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    rambabu
    Perandor
    1.49k 32k 218.8k
    anil wrote:
    rambabu wrote:
    anil wrote:
    rambabu wrote:

    Most of the parents   fee that a girl is a burden to them. Which is why they hurry up to get their marriage performed at the earliest. But today's girls think One ideally completes her Master’s degree by 24 years of age. In today’s world, 24 years is not too late to get married.

    I am not agree with you Rambabu. Girls are never burden of the parents. Parents love and like daughter like sun. But at present safety and security of daughter is problem. Only father of daughter can understand it. Beside parents wants that daughter should capable of facing any harshment in life. They prefer to educate them well. I have two daughters. One is doing internship after completing LL.B. Another is doing B.Ed. 

     

     Its the general belief in most of the parents. Because of heavy dowry problems. In AP, only for this reason girl child is being killed or thrown away.

    Heavy dowry is not problem in AP only. In most of states heavy dowry is demanded by groom family. My community, agarwal defame for demanding heavy dowry.have heavy dowry system.

    I agree with you. And in this context I would like to add that there are still people from the Girl's side who think it's below their status to give their daughter without Dowry for their marriage. Besides grooms family, Girl's side also has to be blamed. More than that the very fact that such evil practices prevailing in the society are to be blamed.

     

     

     

     


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    Babu saroj
    Platinum Mate
    33 1.23k 9.47k

    i think they should go for their ambition first and then they should thing about their marriage

     


    bhuyali saroj


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    Shampa Sadhya
    Platinum Mate
    56 1.65k 11.2k

    I really appreciate this reply. Girls must follow their dream first before marriage or at least they must set up a foundation stone of their dream and carry it forward after marriage too. But, I am afraid there are many girls who dream about marriage only.


    shampasaid


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    rambabu
    Perandor
    1.49k 32k 218.8k

    There are girls who prefer marriage over education. But there are exceptions also who defied the set norms set by her parents and the society. Recently I heard about a girl ran away from her village to pursue her education. She was promptly helped by a Voluntary NGO and helped her in giving education to her. But this will not happen every time. I'm of the opinion, a change started taking place. Now to see the fruits of it it takes time.

     


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    usha manohar
    Basileus
    704 19.5k 126.1k

    The Indian society and mindset is such that a son is an asset since he carries forward the family name and a daughter no doubt is protected and cared for but nonetheless a burden that has to be passed on which incurs expenditure and some distress for the family ! The sole aim is to marry her off and education too in many families is given because it aids her in getting a good match. Even if she has a job and is earning, she is the one who is supposed to make the sacrifice of giving up her job after she gets married or has children. If it is done willingly taking other matters into consideration , that is quite another matter. But normally a woman has little say in the matter since she is expected to toe the line ..


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: What a girl should do before marriage

    by » 6 years ago


    rambabu
    Perandor
    1.49k 32k 218.8k

    It's a male dominated society,.

    In this respect, I consider myself lucky. I have given equal opportunities to both my daughter and son. Now all the three are happily settled in their lives. At one time my elder daughter who lives in Bengaluru gave up her PG in History only to look after her growing children. It's now after her children grown up she started doing her favorite Teaching job

     It's entirely my own experience. It may not happen to all.


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