When there is problem and differences that cannot be sorted out legal separation or Divorce becomes the only solution..This is the opinion of a couple I am friendly with.They have had problems within their marriage, lived separately just to see if things would get better and now feel that there is no other solution but to go in for a divorce.Their only daughter lives abroad , visits them rarely because of the unhappy atmosphere that prevails within their home. My personal opinion - they are both intelligent and social ,to us look well matched...But now the wife says her husband is a control freak and the Husband has the same opinion about the wife. I was suggesting that they live separately once more with determination to work things out rather than with the idea of separating and finding fault with each other - introspect !!!,....What would your opinions and views be about the couple separating after 26 years of troubled ,unhappy marriage, should they still try and reconcile ! 


Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!

Like it on Facebook, Tweet it or share this topic on other bookmarking websites.
  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    Kalyani Nandurkar
    Editor & Super Moderator
    258 14.6k 108.2k

    So sad and tragic! I can imagine how the daughter must be feeling, I think that as a mature and intelligent couple, they must talk it out and try to give it one more chance, after all it is not so easy to end a marriage that lasted for 26 whole years. But on the other side, if they are both control freaks as claimed by each spouse, then it must be very difficult to adjust with each other. They should probably seek counseller for therapy to keep their controlling nature in control. Otherwise, legal separation is the only option.


    "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
    - W. C. Fields :)


    Thank you said by: Swetha Shenoy

  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    usha manohar
    Basileus
    704 19.5k 126.1k
    Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

    So sad and tragic! I can imagine how the daughter must be feeling, I think that as a mature and intelligent couple, they must talk it out and try to give it one more chance, after all it is not so easy to end a marriage that lasted for 26 whole years. But on the other side, if they are both control freaks as claimed by each spouse, then it must be very difficult to adjust with each other. They should probably seek counseller for therapy to keep their controlling nature in control. Otherwise, legal separation is the only option.

    Yes Kalyani, they are both strong personalities and that is probably the flash point and there are any number of minor issues that come out now. The husband has the full support of his family members because they all blame the wife although the couple has not divulged too many details to them. However , the lady in question has no mother and her father and her only brother are both  neutral because they feel that being negative may spoil things more and they genuinely like her husband.So, it looks all the more that it is the fault of the wife which is not the case ! I also feel that his family has been the cause to some extent but I may be going only by her own account ..


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    Swetha Shenoy
    Platinum Mate
    121 1.94k 23.4k

    Oh 26 long years 

    That is incredible. II thought by then, they wuld be comfortable wth each other but it is not the case

    It is easy for an outsider like us to give choices, but ii feel that it is the couple's cHoice

     I have prsonally seen three divorce cases which took three years each to complete and only two of them are happy. There will be lots oF mental agony and no peace during divorce.

     


    Swetha Shenoy

  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    chinmoymukherjee
    Caesar
    934 14.7k 122.3k
    Oh,no! A long smouldering fire should not be kept live! It means they have been at loggerheads instead of rolling the log of conjugal yoke for 26 years.The sooner they decouple the better!

  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    usha manohar
    Basileus
    704 19.5k 126.1k

    @ Shweta ...I agree that in most marriages this is what happens, the couple grow together not grow apart. But in this particular case thats what has happened ..

    @ Chinmoy I too tend to agree that when the differences have escalated over the years it is better to separate rather than make each other and others around them unhappy. At least now one can see couple coming out openly  rather than continue to remain unhappy and miserable in a marriage because they are worried what people would say ?


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    rambabu
    Perandor
    1.49k 32k 218.8k

    It's an issue of incompatibility and  of ego. It's not uncommon to have differences  between the couples. But wise couple with a view to save the sanctity of Marriage, avoid conflicts and confrontations In order to save the marriage, at least for the sake of the common interests of the family, they should adjust leaving aside their differences. A home is an abode of peace. Not a battle field  Wisdom lies in one of them stepping down to enjoy the fruits of Marital bliss.

    In the absence of this, it's better to go for a legal separation.


  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    vijay
    Diamond Mate
    31 4.98k 28.3k

    A strain in relationship is like a crack in the mirror. Howsoever you may try to mend it the crack will remain visible. Legal separation is the best way out when couples cannot stand each other. No use faking a relationship. Better to separate and live without guilt and the way one wants to live. Many a time the separated couples become good friends because there are no obligations now.


  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    usha manohar
    Basileus
    704 19.5k 126.1k

    @ rambabu ...Personally I view marriage and family are institutions that evolved because they fulfilled certain needs of individuals besides providing security. When it is already a battlefield there is no question of sanctity and when both are equally strong who would be willing to bow down?

    @ vijay ...I agree that some couple become good friends after separation because there is freedom of thought and no pressure.Children too help in bringing them together.I was reading an interview by writer/film maker  Gulzar, where he spoke about his relationship with his wife Rakhee.Although separated for years now, they do many things together and he never forgets to buy her a gift when he travels..


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    Kalyani Nandurkar
    Editor & Super Moderator
    258 14.6k 108.2k
    usha manohar wrote:
    Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

    So sad and tragic! I can imagine how the daughter must be feeling, I think that as a mature and intelligent couple, they must talk it out and try to give it one more chance, after all it is not so easy to end a marriage that lasted for 26 whole years. But on the other side, if they are both control freaks as claimed by each spouse, then it must be very difficult to adjust with each other. They should probably seek counseller for therapy to keep their controlling nature in control. Otherwise, legal separation is the only option.

    Yes Kalyani, they are both strong personalities and that is probably the flash point and there are any number of minor issues that come out now. The husband has the full support of his family members because they all blame the wife although the couple has not divulged too many details to them. However , the lady in question has no mother and her father and her only brother are both  neutral because they feel that being negative may spoil things more and they genuinely like her husband.So, it looks all the more that it is the fault of the wife which is not the case ! I also feel that his family has been the cause to some extent but I may be going only by her own account ..

    It looks like the lady is the one unwilling to adjust or bend to save her marriage. But then whatever we get to hear from them in such cases, it is only those people alone who know the real reason or what caused the marriage to snap apart. So probably it is for the best. But still, it always causes some amount of grief to see such long drawn marriages broken apart.


    "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
    - W. C. Fields :)


  • Re: Is Legal Separation the only solution?

    by » 6 years ago


    rambabu
    Perandor
    1.49k 32k 218.8k

    @ Kalyani

    There must be some reason behind the break up of such a marriage that lasted for 25 years . It is true many things take place Within  the Premises of the home. Such things may not see the light at all. I too have many differences with my wife. Some times we differ on petty issues like failure of my wife in getting my breakfast in time. Reason I know. she likes chitchatting with neighbors for hours together. In this process there is every likelihood of forgetting about my breakfast. It is just an example. But knowing her fully I will not quarrel, though I get upset. But that is momentary. We adjust . because quarreling before children when they come for holidaying with us, upsets them. All my children are married. Some times they intervene and appease us. I'll not take their intervention in a negative way and we forget everything.

    It all amounts ultimately, to adjustment. This my opinion/.


You do not have permissions to reply to this topic.

Are you really making friends in Facebook?

Using facebook to find friends then give a vote to this poll
No answer selected. Please try again.
Please select either existing option or enter your own, however not both.
Please select minimum 0 answer(s) and maximum 3 answer(s).
/polls/computers-and-technology/6420-are-you-really-making-friends-in-facebook.json?task=poll.vote
6420
checkbox
[{"id":"22214","title":"Yes.I'm using facebook to find friends","votes":"63","type":"x","order":"1","pct":48.84,"resources":[]},{"id":"22215","title":"Sometimes,i use to find friends in facebook","votes":"43","type":"x","order":"2","pct":33.33,"resources":[]},{"id":"22216","title":"I never use to find friends in facebook","votes":"23","type":"x","order":"3","pct":17.83,"resources":[]}] ["#ff5b00","#4ac0f2","#b80028","#eef66c","#60bb22","#b96a9a","#62c2cc"] ["rgba(255,91,0,0.7)","rgba(74,192,242,0.7)","rgba(184,0,40,0.7)","rgba(238,246,108,0.7)","rgba(96,187,34,0.7)","rgba(185,106,154,0.7)","rgba(98,194,204,0.7)"] 350
bottom 200
Senthil kumar P
1 points
shalinisharma
1 points