I feel that although the child has been rude , you should not mind it so much  because she is only 5 years old and hardly knows what she is doing . She may be stubborn but at that age children are stubborn and need to be disciplined. The best way to handle when children are rude is to remain calm and ask them why they did it , normally they come up out with some response. 

Secondly for your husband, his brother is close family and later you may be at the receiving end if relationship turns sour for some reason, so it is best you become friends with the little one without holding any grudge  

USha the chiild age is 5 but she is  equal to our age, she is a big egoist

I have seen it in many families, and now this is becoming trend. Most people let their children to do whatever they want. I think they do so to show their love towards their kids. In my view children should be under control of parents until they become too elder to make difference of wrong and right.

A child of age five and that too with too much then it must be parenting issue and a good discipline is the need of hour and one need to be extra careful while upbringing such child and for relatives one should just ignore it as thinking about such incident could possibly impart wrong negative actions which should not be there on the first hand.

Good parenting is that which injects good habits in the formative years. After all, it's the home from where good or bad habits start. Children have the ability to imitate their parents. Ignorance on the part of the parents will pave the way for disastrous results.

I can understand your feeling very well. It is natural to feel bad and be upset but I would like to draw your attention which I think you are not considering at all. She is rude or egoist whatever but ultimately she is a child and her behaviour is not normal so she needs to be disciplined in a very careful way. If you scold such a child then she may develop a negative impact. Observe her behaviour and attitude that what makes her react so rudely and then you decide your way of managing her. Your attitude should not aggravate her rudeness or else it will harm her a lot.

sarala wrote:

USha the chiild age is 5 but she is  equal to our age, she is a big egoist

I understand your point, some children are very stubborn when they are small, does not mean she will remain so in the future as well...However, parents need to instil discipline or else she may become very head strong..

The child clearly has a lot of discipline issues. Although she is 5, I am sure a kid of 5 years understands that spitting on others is rude and considered bad behavior. She must be told sternly on how to behave and how not to behave. ut since she is 5 years, you too must understand and not keep a grudge about it, you too can tell her gently about it and maintain friendly relations with her. A child's anger is short lived and once she understands that you mean to be friendly with her, she too wil change her behavior with you. But her mother should not remain silent at such behavior and she must tell her child it is wrong to do so.

Generally a child's behavioral patterns change quickly. Yesterday's rude behaving child may become a soft speaking gentle child with age. But, these behavior patterns are to be noted by the parents and taken corrective steps

In all, l it's the parents responsibility that plays a vital role in shaping a child. Good habits should form in the formative years of a child.

One must keep the track of the child's behaviour because it is very unnatural to have a child of just five years behaving so rudely. Parents and the rest of the family must work together to put the child on the right track so that she learns how to behave properly. Too much of scolding will spoil her further.