Now is the time of small nuclear families and few children ( maximum 2 or 3) but in older days the house used to be full of siblings. A lot of life skills and lessons are learnt in family.

"Being an elder one in the family, I became responsible at a very young age", "Younger ones are always careless", "Being the youngest  I never took any decision",..... so on. Don't we say or hear such comments very often ??

This question came to my mind when my elder daughter complained at my verdict for a sibling rivalry -"You can never understand how I feel because you were not the elder one in your family?...Really leaves me pondering - "Does your order of birth affects your personality?"

I welcome you all for your a healthy discussion and your valuable inputs. 


I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in

Like it on Facebook, Tweet it or share this topic on other bookmarking websites.
  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    Let me start with my own  case.. Mine is a small family consisting of my parents and my younger sister and a younger brother. I'm the eldest. Being an elder of course, I became responsible. But not that responsible to look after my parents and my younger sister and brother. Because both my father and Mother were in Service until i was 16. Hence I did not have to bear all the Burden of my family. Even after my Parent's retirement, I never took the family's  full responsibility. I and my Parents used to work together in most of the family related works.

    of course in some families, order of birth makes a difference especially after the death or retirement of the parents.


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    That has been case with many people I know. Though they take care of younger ones and feel responsible, they still enjoy the love and affection that they get from the elders.


    I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

    www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    It does to a great extent, the eldest child shoulders certain responsibilities automatically probably because of the conditioning that happens right from birth. One cannot disassociate oneself completely from the society , so it does have an impact on the mental make up and personality traits and this fact has been confirmed by behavioral psychologists ..


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    True. Taking responsibility of the younger ones is an experience some people relish. But in all families, parents themselves take charge. Some parents feel not to burden their children from a very young age. We hear often, parents saying, " are we not here"?


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    I totally agree with your points. So a lot depends on parenting. If Parents do a conscious parenting of sharing responsibility, decision making and other household chores among children irrespective of their order of birth, it will be helpful for all of them to develop their personality in right way. Moreover parents should avoid favourism and biases based on order of birth, which comes out naturally and unconsciously.


    I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

    www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    Right parenting does the Magic. I agree with you that parents should avoid favoritism and authority. In such case rivalry between the siblings becomes imminent and it remains through out the life of the children.


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)


    "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
    - W. C. Fields :)


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

    yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

    That is really sad Kalyani, but it was probably unintentional. Most parent tend to treat each child differently because one realises that their needs are different..another fact , a seemingly self sufficient child  gets ignored to a certain extent, which is not fair 


    Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

    yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

    I have heard that from many of my friends who were the middle one. They felt that they were ignored as the parents were busy with younger ones and older ones were independent. But from a parents viewpoint, they loved all equally but the lack of skill took the toll and it was not conveyed properly. But without doubt, it is unintentional.

    I have friends in middle order who complain that they were forced to call their elder siblings with respect which they disliked. Many a times they were directed to elder siblings by their parent who was busy with handling younger one. So many of their issues were not properly resolved as they were sent to elder siblings and they were not so mature and skilled to resolve it well. These incidences cause a lot  of grief in the child and when he/she becomes adult as our childhood stays with us forever


    I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

    www.arunimakunwar.blogspot.in


  • Re: Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

    by » 3 years ago


    I'm the eldest. I have one sister next me and  and the youngest is a  brother. In my house.  As long as my parents were alive who lived up to the ripe age of 80, I never faced any problems. After that all my siblings grown up and they looked after themselves.  So, being the eldest. Order of birth did not affect me.


You do not have permissions to reply to this topic.