We hear many parents of teenagers complaining about peer pressure which no matter what they do , ultimately takes over and their children succumb to bad habits...I have not had any such personal experience but again one cannot generalise since there are varied reasons ,temperaments , also upbringing and the environmental factor all of which go on to contribute to this...so what is your take on this ?


Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!

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No doubt when children are growing up and starts spending their time in the company of others, there is bound to be some peer pressure. But what I feel is that with proper parenting, the children need not develop any bad habits from their peers. From what I observed, children come under peer pressure under mostly two conditions- parents are very strict and always preaching or when parents don't pay attention about their children's friend circle. Parents should guide their children in the right path but it is also important for them to be friend with them

jabeen wrote:

No doubt when children are growing up and starts spending their time in the company of others, there is bound to be some peer pressure. But what I feel is that with proper parenting, the children need not develop any bad habits from their peers. From what I observed, children come under peer pressure under mostly two conditions- parents are very strict and always preaching or when parents don't pay attention about their children's friend circle. Parents should guide their children in the right path but it is also important for them to be friend with them

Parenting plays a key role in a child's life. Of course in the early stage, that is up to the age of of Five, a child needs the guidance of the Parents. Once the child reaches teens,the child knows generally, what it is good and what is not. At this stage, parents should not interfere with every activity of the child. Instead of being authoritative, the parents should act like a friend.  In such conditions, there is no scope for the child for resorting to bad habits.

 

A parent can not help children overcome peer pressure but a parent can teach their kids how to deal with peer pressure. They can teach their children what are the ways to deal with peer pressure and stand with what is right to do. Children should also learn how to be brave and go against the peers to do what is right. The peers themselves are kids and they are also growing up and kids should try to avoid taking comments personally as kids don't judge the impact of what they are saying.

I think yes to some extent parents can help overcome peer pressure. from the beginning the parents need to inculcate self confidence and sense of right and wrong in their kids. I personally feel that the children succumb to peer pressure when they want to be included in a group which they may feel is more "hep" than them, which basically signals a lack of self confidence. 


Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated - Confucius

True. But children often take the things seriously. It is exactly here Parents should come and console the child to be brave.

jabeen wrote:

No doubt when children are growing up and starts spending their time in the company of others, there is bound to be some peer pressure. But what I feel is that with proper parenting, the children need not develop any bad habits from their peers. From what I observed, children come under peer pressure under mostly two conditions- parents are very strict and always preaching or when parents don't pay attention about their children's friend circle. Parents should guide their children in the right path but it is also important for them to be friend with them

I agree that the more attention you pay during the formative years the better. Most of the wayward behavior in teenagers come when they have had no monitoring by the parents who were busy with their career or simply neglected their children or did not make the effort to open a free and frank communication with their children. The teenagers in turn seek outside help which can be often dangerous.


Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!

Peer pressure need not always be bad. I ve observed how some students ve improved their behaviour and academic performance under peer pressure. That's why I feel that parents should at least monitor their children's activities.

jabeen wrote:

Peer pressure need not always be bad. I ve observed how some students ve improved their behaviour and academic performance under peer pressure. That's why I feel that parents should at least monitor their children's activities.

True, it can be both ways ..Teenagers are very impressionable during their growing years and get attached to either teachers who they look up to or admire or friends and the influence can be either good or bad . I remember my son being a total fan of his Sanskrit teacher during his high school days wanting to emulate his dressing and style . The teacher  was a Brahmin with a Shikha ( pigtail) and wearing dhoti and kurta. He was an impressive figure and very strict but the children  admired him.  Now we tease him about it..


Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!

I feel the need of conscious parenting where you know filtering out unwanted - whether it is the advice or spirit killing neck to neck competition. Peer pressure brings out the positive side too. So parents have to select those positive pressures and turn immune to those which suffocate you or kill the joy.  


I am open to experience what life's mystery bag holds for me

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Peer pressure may be good for some. But, if the parents exert pressure on the child consistently, the child may become a rebel. Wisdom lies in doing the things in an optimum level. It is important to save the child.

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