Things to Do at Airpot.

* Start asking Everyone Toilet kaha hain.?Food COurt Kaha hain.?

* Start Shouting Yeh FLight delay ho gaye (saare flights ko Delay karwa do :P )

* Start SHouting yeh Flight Hijack ho gaya haawww Start Crying Laudlyy nahiiiii!!!!!!

* Go to Ticket counter n UNhe jaake k pakao Koi 100rupee ka ticket hain.? acha chaloo 100 rs aap bhi rakh lo ,,chaloo na aapka na mera 50 aur le lo

* Go to security room n bolo mumbai se aaya mera dost sharukh khan ghum ho gaya announcement karoo ,dan 5min baad dubara jaake bolo abh salman khan ghum ho gaya :D =/

Things to Do to get admission in Girls school.(only for boys)

* You Need To Dress Up Like GIrl Fig. Ek dum waise mast !

* take training from karan johar or rohit bhoot for chaal dhal of Girll :P

* Drink karele ka juice taki apki waaz bane sweet sweet komall(yummy kerela ka hi)

* wax your legs properly !!

* always go in girls toilet .!

Things to do If you are stuck In heavy Traffic..

* Start singing songs & let other Listen to your sweet voice.

* Traffic Police wale Ko bulaoo n Sunaoo CHal terii #$%#$%#$%#$%!!!!!

* Bar bar horn dabao jabh tak agay wala pareshan hoke ladne na aa gaye do fyt tympass ho jayega n traffic bhi theek ho jaiga

* Aas-paas ke larko ko unconscious feel karaounhe ghur ghur keeee tympaasss.!

*call your frand n awae taiz taiz bakwas karoo hain bhai Bomb lag gaya main 20min main ak-47 bheja raha hoon !

Five reasons to watch the movie Blue.
1,First of all its not a Blue film....

aapko lagega lara dutta ko dekh ka. phir katrina ko dekhtey hi aapko samaj aajayega.kya samaj aayega woh mujhe nahi maloom..chee chee gandi sonch kahiki

2.Its a Full on family entertainer.

haan is mein akshay kumar ke water mein swimming se . zyada time zayed khan aur sanjay dutt gale milne lagayenge..water mein action..woh kya hai mujhe nahi maalom

3.Its not a dostana 2.

aapko shuru mein jab akshay ka koi bhi nahi hota. sirf ek boy freind woh sanjay dutt..but its not like dat. woh bahut achey dost hotey hai..ekdum pakka dostana.

4.This movie is not directed by sanjay leela bhansali.

iske director ne pehle copyrights s.bhansali kharid kar hi banai.

5.Isme sharks ke saath fighting nahi hai.

aapne pehle sochliya hoga. ke movie mein akshay shark ke mooh ko cheer ke niklenge. par nahi. animal rights. akshay kumar ko sharks hurt nahi karni chahiye na....haan kya bola?..yeh animal rights sharks ke liye hai..jo bhi ho..


Things to do at Library except Studying.!

*Start Disturbing Studious Children Like Bhai is Word ka meaning bata na !bata toh bta re kya hua bta naaaaaaaa!

*Jumble the books Ek jageh se uthao dusri jageh Rakh do!

*Start SHouting! jabh koi phuche kya hua say Cocoo Choccoo Cocooroachh ! :(!


*Start Creating fart Sound with your Mouth Purr Putter pooh!! =))


*Ask Librarian That yaha par Meri Saheli ya Gharaye shoba milegi.?

Things Not to Say to Bouncer In Disco.

*Bhai yeh Body asalii hain.? kisi ko padegi toh lagigi kya.?

*How much you get to stand here whole day =/

*tight clothes.? garmi nahi lagti kya.??

*humesha gusse main kyun rahte ho.?

*ABey body guard kam kar apna jaada chaura mat ho mere agay ankhe neeche kar bey!

Five dangerous stunts peformed in blue.
1.Lara dutta seducing Sanjay dutt.

lara dutta ka psychatrist ko milna padega.. ya unhe iske bahut paise mile hai.

2. Akshay kumar biting the bike tire and takin out air.

jab yeh stunt ho raha ta. sab sharks waha se bahg gahe..OMG complexion.

3.katrina Kaif flirting with Zayed khan.

stunt katrina ney nahi kiya..toda compromise kiya..but real stunt zayed khan ne kiya..bina salman se dare hue. ek toh kaam ata hai tumhe.

4.Zayed khan wearing a Helmet.

hats off to you. aapne uska wieght utaya. apke mom dad bahut proud honge.

5.All stars byacting in a blue film

yeh toh sabse bada strunt hai

Five persons who should sent to Andaman Jail.
1.Kamal Rashid khan.

Ek ladki /ladke pe atyacharr karke bottle phekne ki wajayse.

2.Anyperson who says Monkey to anyone.

this is crime according to ICC 000.

3.Madhur bandharkar.

Jail Movie ke baad woh wahi pe jaakar. reality pe movie nikalenge..actor hogi champa. the debutant from andaman

4.Roadies.

agar Visa pe kharcha kam karna hai toh africa kyu andaman lekar jaoon. aur batado yeh africa hai. kisiko pata nahi chalega.

5.Anti Mohit Kochar.

itne abuses ke baad inhe. Andaman nahi. ek din HoeZaay ke saath room bandh kar dena chaiye. kaafi hai.

Five things not to say to Rakhi Sawant:-

1.Which is your favourite? 1> Strawberry shake. 2> Chocolate Shake. 3> Abhishake
2.Your Mom teaches you acting, Or you teach her?
3.Lets talk in English :D ( She will shut her mouth and sit)
4.Wheres the medias?
5.Your skirt doesn’t’t have an Elesh-tic? :O

5 things not to say to an Emo:-


1.Smile Please
2.Oh that’s an Emo-mazing shirt!
3.Which is your favourite movie, Black?
4.How many hundred paper napkins do you require a month?
5.Err, what is the meaning of emo?

5 best/wackiest ways to get dumped by your BF
1)Tell him that you are pregnant
2)Tell him that you are in love with his sister
3)Everytime you meet him...greet hm with a Pooja ki thaali,perform an Aarti and then "phodo a naariyal" on his head.
4)If he tries to get close to you or kiss you...simply ask him"Can i see your credentials in this field?Your poor efficiency makes me doubtful".
5)Start spying on him and make sure that he knows about it

Five confirm things to say you are a South Indian:-

1.When you have a surname insanely bigger than your name.
2.When you add ‘aai’ in your sentences ( What is your name-aai? )
3.When you say Vokay, instead of Okay.
4.When you say ‘aiyo’ more than ‘shit’.
5.When you are slected for the ad of Happy Dent White

5 things 2 show that u r a metalhead...

->buy metal bands tshirts from palika bazar even if u dnt knw abc abt dem

->keep headbanging while listening songs on ur headphones even if u r listening 2 manoj tiwari

->jitne pearcings kara sakte ho karao irrespective of d places

->keep onli and onli english songs in ur mobile nd as ur ringtone

->join as many as u can ,rock bands communities u can find on orkut


5 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW BEFORE COMING TO NEW DELHI  :

1. IF YOU ARE ARRIVING AT NEW DELHI RAILWAY STATION THEN ITS 80% SURE THAT YOUR BELONGINGS WILL BE STOLEN OR LUCKY IF MISPLACED !

2. YOU ARE VERY FREE TO BE A PART OF PUBLIC URINATION PROGRAMME AND YOU CAN PEE NEAR ANY SHOPPING MALL, BUS STANDS AND MARKETS. . ITS ALL YOUR CHOICE WHERE YOU WANT TO PEE.

3. DON'T SEARCH FOR BLUELINE BY LOOKING DOWN ON THE ROAD, IT AIN'T A LINE MAN UPAR DEKH WARNA YEH LINE KUCHAL DEGI.

4. IF SOMEBODY SAYS YOU SAALE OR BHENC**D THEN PLEASE DON'T BREAK INTO A FIGHT , HE IS NOT ABUSING. THESE ARE THE SWEARING WORDS FOR DELHITES.

5. GK IS NOT A SUBJECT ITS A PLACE IN SOUTH DELHI WHERE HOTTEST GIRL OF THE TOWN COMES IN SHORTEST OF CLOTHES .

five things not to do while having sex

* asking ur partner to remove cloths

*running for condom

*hesitating in changing ur sex pose

*taking care of bed sheet and pillow more than ur sex partner

* Run for tissue paper while u ejaculates

5 Romantic Things you can do to your love interst


1. Buy her favourite flowers and hide a love note in them.
2. Hold her hand and look into her eyes continuously with all the love you can show.
3. Buy a key. And get one wooden box, decorate it. Give the key and wooden box to her with a note reading " Key to my heart"
4. Keep on saying i love you to her. Every 1 minute. Dont worry that wont irritate her.
5. Last but not the least. "Love her"

5 things not to do on a date

1. Ask her about if her X-boyfriend or her best friend has a better orkut, FB profile than you have..

2. Check out other dates, or waitress.. 8) 8) 8)..

3. 1. Tweet your friends an every second detail about it..
- She just turned left.. wow her side view is awesome.
- I just asked her to have a sip from my coffee.. let's see woh mera jootha peeti hai kya..
- Tell me friends what do I ask her now..??

4. Tell her that you are really looking forward to meet her mom..
-Agar shaadi karna hai toh bhi nahi.. Mom ko patao formula is no longer valid these days..
5. Ask her 5 things you don't like about me :D

5 things a BF should not say to his GF


1.I think U will not fit in this dress !

2.your friend so perfect in everything..

3.I think u will not be able to do this.....!

4.The girl standing there is so beautiful...

5.ur cooking is nice but my mom can cook better than U

also....

6.U are lucky to have me.....I was having options

7.Can u pay the bill

5 wishes whose fulfillment is nxt to impossible


1.Harman Baweja's wish to get atleast 1 hit film

2.A women's wish to get a perfect husband

3.Salman Khan's fans wish to see him married

4.Adwani's wish to be the PM

5.A common man's wish to see clean roads and also clean politicians.....!

also....

my wish to live atleast 1 day widout doing a pagalpanti....

5 answers given by the girls whn sm1 propose them

* NO

* M sory

* R u mad

* i alwaz thot dat v r gud frndZ

* lekin mein to ANKUR se pyar karti hu

Five things not to do on Yahoo

1. Send pesky audibles.. "Bhoooooooooooooooooooot" "Bhooooooooooooooot" "Arre dil pe mat le yaar... "

2. Buzz every other minute.. mat karo na bhai.. mujhe pata hai tu online hai...

3. Go to Yahoo Chat rooms.. cos you are only gonno find SPAM SPAM SPAM and a lot of SPAM or otherwise regional abuses and over the head DJ's.. :-L

4. Change your status message every other minute.. "I am listening to music" "Now I am not listening to music" "Here" "Not here"

5. Signing in and signing out every 10 mintues to see whether you got a new IM or not.. :-L

5 Things Not to Say to a Dog Owner :

1. Aapke Kutte ka color Black kyu hai ? Fair n Lovley lagao ispe.

2. Ghar mei kutte ki Shit kaun saaf karta hai ?

3. Ye Sirf Bhonkta hai yan Kaat bhi sakta hai ?

4. Kitna bada ho gaya . Bachpan mei dekha tha, lollipop khata tha, badi shararat karta tha

5. Kaunsi Breed hai n Kitne ka liya ?? Dekhne mei toh Street Dog lagta hai Ganda sa :|

Imagine Ekta ka Swayamvar???

i would love to see these Dulhas
1)KRK-- bolte se hi moh me bottle phenk ke daal dega
2)Bobby Darling(yeah,he is till a man)-- Movies me break diya,abb apni life bhi issi ke sath break kare
3)Aftab Shivdasani--bechare ko movies hi mil jayengi kam se kam
4)Yuvraj Singh--"chhakke" chhuda dega
5)Mayawati "Behenji"--she is no less than a Man...dono milke duniya hila dengi


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