Ten More Ways to Be Happier
Ten More Ways to Be Happier
"The Happiness Project" is a popular site for those desiring to seek happiness in their lives and its creator, Gretchen Rubin, has some great ideas about seeking genuine, lasting happiness, versus temporary happiness. Over the years after reading all kinds of self-help books and such, what I have discovered is this: that real happiness has to be created by the person seeking it. It is not something that you can buy off the rack at the nearest Nordstrom's or Bergdorf Goodman store. To take it one step further, genuine happiness is always without exception inner-directed. It cannot be other directed. What this means that if a person continually tries to seek happiness in something such as work or another person, chances are that so-called feeling of happiness will not last, simply because the job and the person are all other-directed by the person who is attempting to pursue happiness. For many, however, happiness is more of a state of being rather than a pursuit. Having said that, below are ten more ways to be happier in your life:
1. Do not always expect to have your own way. Real life doesn't work like that, and those who do always try to have their own way generally have control issues of some kind as well as esteem issues.
2. Never compromise yourself under any circumstances, no matter whom or what it is for. People who ask you to sacrifice your livelihood, personal interests, or anything of else that is exclusively yours, are not trying to help you. As a proverb from an unknown person says: "He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away."
3. Obtain a copy of Max Ehrmann's poem "Desiderata." First composed in 1927, the poem addresses the very subject of happiness and what it consists of. Framed prints of this important poem are available from: http://www.desiderata.com/.
4. Learn to say no to those who are constantly seeking you to do everything for them. Social parasitism is one of the worst human weaknesses, right up there with laziness. Such deeds are never "owed" a person. One has the right to refuse requests when it speaks of being taken advantage of.
5. Spend some time each day on yourself, quality time that will benefit you and you alone. It can be any activity that is not superficial, such as buying happiness, as Rubin says. Reading a good book, taking a long walk, bicycling, or jogging are just some activities that come under this category.
6. Do not always feel like you have to be right at everything, especially during debates. It's a sign of esteem issues as well as seeking ego satisfactions. Ego satisfactions won't benefit you, they will just make you appear to a little bit higher than those you are debating with, and the other person will notice it.
7. The Golden Rule as proposed by David Sea bury, the famous psychologist, is another important key to developing and maintaining genuine happiness. His version of the rule reads: "Do unto others as life, nature and cosmic law would have you do." Incidentally, Sea buries also authored books on happiness as well as positive selfishness.
8. There is a Persian proverb that reads: "Conceal thy gold, thy destination, and thy creed." What this means is that one should not talk too much of your wealth, your destination in life, which includes personal ambitions, and your personal beliefs. There will always be others nearby who will drag you down if you do speak of such subjects.
9. Do not be afraid of doing something to please yourself. Ricky Nelson summed it up succinctly: "You can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself." If you were raised on the belief that your only purpose is to live for other people, then you were misled, and you will the effects of chronic emptiness, not genuine happiness.
10. Genuine happiness brings you peace. Not the kind of peace that is so often spoken of by the media in foreign relations, rather, the kind of peace that exists within you. Again, here you can reference "Desiderata." Once you possess this peace, you know you have genuine happiness.
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