Managing relations
Society consists of relations
Human society consists of complex relations. All human activities- family, social, economic, religious- depend on interactions between individuals bound by inter personal relations. The human relations determine role of individuals. In fact human society is a very big team. These relations form base of organizational set up.. Defining inter personal and inter organizational relations is an essential step to ensure smooth functioning of society.
Defining relations
Family is basic social unit. The relation between spouses and their children determines proper functioning of a society. If family institution is weak, the entire society suffers. The future citizens grow and are groomed in family. Smooth and lasting relations between spouses ensure orderly functioning of society. Frequent break up of families adversely affects the social structure. Mutual understanding between spouses is very necessary. Love marriages are ideal in this respect. Arranged marriages are thrust upon couples for consideration as dowry, caste, social status rather than compatibility.
Friendship
Friendship is most important individual relation outside the framework of family. The relation of friendship depends on mutual admiration and is not based on birth or marriage. The relation of brother, sister, father, mother are by birth and that of in-laws by marriage. Friends are by selection unlike other relations. It is rightly said a friend in need is friend indeed. . True friendship is gender-free, status-free, caste-free. The friendship between Lord Krishna and Sudama is considered ideal. The relation of friendship may be contrasted with romantic relation between lovers and spouses. Loird Krishna had love relation with Radha, marital relation with Rukmani and friendship with Drupadi. He came to rescue of his friend Drupadi when she was being stripped. The concept of boyfriend or girlfriend is very inappropriate. A friend is a friend- not boy or girl. Friend. True friendship implies that there is no inhibition. A friend may unhesitatingly demand anything that may be unhesitatingly acceded to or denied. However most of friendships are not genuine. Often mingling just for casual fun, gossip or play is termed friendship. Friendship needs to be distinguished from other relations. An office colleague maintains cordial relations and not friendly. Once an officer wrote in confidential report of a lady employee- she has friendly relations with all. The officer was told that he should have used the term ‘cordial’ instead of ‘friendly’. The relations of classmate, office colleague, room partner, sports team member do not necessarily constitute friendship.
Misunderstanding relations.
Extra marital relations are often taken as illegitimate. It is forgotten that marriage does not end all relations. Both husband and wife are in multiple relations before marriage. If the husband does not mind his wife’s relations with he parents, brothers etc, he should not mind her relation with her non family members irrespective of gender. The relation need not necessarily be extramarital sex. The childhood friendship is gender-free. Such relation may continue even after marriage. There should be no suspicion.
Relations at work
The relations at work should be business like. It is inappropriate to deliberately build personal relations at work. The relations between boss and subordinates and colleagues are well defined in official code. The job should get priority. Cordial relations ensure better performance. Gender has nothing to do with office relation. A boss is just boss, a subordinate just subordinate and colleague just colleague. .Other relation like friendship and romance should not outweigh office relations. Gender and caste prejudices badly affect performance. Similarly, the customers and clients should be handled on business/ official lines. Display of any favor or prejudice arising from personal, caste, gender or status needs be totally avoided.
Political relations
Most of the relational problems arise in political activities. The so called vote banks are based on caste and community groupings. The political leaders are in relation with their voters. The politicians should treat all voters alike before, during and after elections without considering caste, gender, community or status. This is very tricky as this approach will do away with vote bank politics. But the benefits in shape of true democracy are manifold.
Conclusion
Understanding relationships in diverse areas and adhering to norms is an essential condition for peace, progress and justice. .
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