Top reasons for divorce: Part-1
The bond of marriage brings the two people together. Initially, everything may seem okay and both of them slowly start discovering each other in the journey. There are love and transparency in a relationship. There exist a deep connection and trust. Though those two may be very different from each other still, the love keeps them together. Sometimes they end up fighting with each other on silly issues. They fight and soon start missing each other and thus, they make up. It is common for married couples to indulge in time to time quarreling. Most of the times, the issues are baseless and silly. Only a few of them fight over something very important. Thus, the process of fighting and then making up continues. Soon the day comes when there is no makeup. Couples separate and get a divorce. Thus, it is not good to neglect the issues that are bothering the relationship. If there are any issues present, they need to be sorted out before the relationship takes a dramatic ending.
Below are mentioned some reasons for couples to get a divorce-
Too much of arguments
Discussions and arguments are two different things. In the discussion, the two people come together with an open mind and try to sort out things looking at them from each other’s perspective. On the other hand, arguments are all about I am right and you are wrong. There is no scope of sorting out in it. Ego takes away all the charm and makes the conversation ugly. Arguments are relationship killers. As mentioned before, since there is ego involved, it is ugly. Too much argument that can be about anything such as carrying out day to day chores to making some important decisions ruins the bond. It is a deal breaker if the same argument keeps taking place between couples again and again. It is wrong for the other person to bring up the same subject just because he/she feels that the issue is not sorted out and thus he/she is feeling that the voice is not heard. Couples who do not try to get in the shoes of each other or develop a whole new way of looking at the problem will never come up with a solution and will keep arguing. Arguments can lead to falling apart.
Infidelity or cheating is one of the most common causes of divorce. It can end the marriage. Reason for cheating can be anything. Some cheat because their sexual hunger or desire is not met by their partner. Others cheat as they are not able to experience emotional attachment with their partner. Apart from these reasons, there is a number of other reasons too such as resentment, anger, lack of control, etc. Infidelity has become the number one reason for getting divorced. It may commence with innocent flirting. Initially, it may seem as if the person is having an affair to meet his emotional appetite. Soon it becomes an extramarital physical affair which can ruin everything and end up the marriage into divorce.
Married couples who are not able to very well communicate with each other are at high risk of ending up in divorce. Communication has to be effective and fruitful. Meaningless conversations are not going to do any good for the relationship to flourish. When couples are not able to communicate with each other, they become restless and frustrated. Within no time they may fall out of love and slowly their relationship may come to an end. Thus, it is important to have a good meaningful conversation and make it as a foundation. Instead, couples choose to quarrel and yell at each other so that their point of view gets understood and their voice gets heard. When they feel that they are not appreciated, they fall back and stop communicating. Instead, they choose to poke their partners with some bad comments to show that they are hurt. Moreover, it is important to communicate throughout the day. Though couples may not be present with each other physically throughout the day but still, sending a message every now and then and making a quick phone call will do the trick. Those who do not feel like spending some time to make quick conversations with their partners are at high risk as they are dwelling towards divorce. Thus, the lack of communication can lead to divorce.
Money is power. The partner who earns considerably more than the other if develops an ego about it will behave accordingly and the sweet marriage can end up in divorce. One partner spending more money than the other is also a common issue that can lead the marriage to divorce. Money is a very common factor to get divorced. If the partner isn’t able to handle the expenses very well because of low earning potential can also lead to divorce. Financial issues can build up stress and stress ruins everything from health to a loving relationship such as marriage.
Physical or emotional abuse
Abusive relationships cannot last long. Abuse ruins the beautiful marriage and couples end up getting a divorce. Abuse can be physical as well as mental. Ignoring the partner, making them feel they are not important or wanted, beating them, emotionally torturing them, asking them to do all such tasks which they don’t want to do are a few ways of abusing. Abusive marriage is an unhealthy one. Thus, couples split up and get a divorce.
Not ready for marriage
This is again a common reason to get a divorce. An unexpected pregnancy, pressure of parents and society, long-term commitment, etc are a few causes out of many which make people to get married when actually they aren’t ready to be married. They feel like they were not ready for marriage. Some of them feel that they might have found a better life partner for themselves if their parents would not have arranged the marriage for them. Others feel that they needed a few years to get financially secure so that they could seek a better job, move to a better home or a better town before getting married. Since that did not take place and also the added responsibility of a spouse and the kids have eventually burdened their shoulders. Since they cannot seek a solution and cannot take any more weight on their shoulders, they quit the marriage. Thus, it is important to get married only when the heart says that you are ready and not due to the pressure from outside.
Too many expectations
It is human nature to expect from others. Likewise expecting from the better half in a marriage is not something that is unusual. However, too many expectations and that too of unrealistic nature can end up a marriage in divorce. Expectations have to be realistic. Most of the times, married couples create an image in their minds. If their partners fail to exact that particular image, the relationship disastrously ends up in divorce. Expectations can drift the couples away. One partner whose expectations are not met up will feel hurt and let down. Another partner is always under constant pressure and sense failure in accomplishments. Thus, unrealistic expectations can be dangerous to a marriage.
Addiction of any form is not only dangerous to the health and well-being of the person who is addicted but also affects the entire family. It affects relationships. Thus, in spite of a loving life partner, the marriage ends up in divorce. Addiction can be anything. It can be an addiction to alcohol, drugs or any other substance abuse, sex addiction, etc. Usually, the other partner will file a divorce as he/she do not want the kids to get influenced or witness one of the parent’s addictive behaviors.
Not having fun
As the relationship ages, it becomes boring. Couples initially take care of every little thing of their partners and make all the essential efforts to keep the relationship alive and lively. With time, they somehow grow apart. They stop having fun especially if they are different from each other and start living entirely different lifestyles. No matter how different couples are from each other, it is important to keep that spark alive. Surprising the partner should not stop at any age. Thus, spontaneity is an essential key. When everything becomes too much predictable, it invites boredom in the marriage. When either or both the partners cannot take it anymore, the marriage turns into divorce.
Intimacy both on physical as well as the emotional level is important to keep that spark alive in marriage. If at any level couples start feeling that they are not able to connect, they grow apart from each other. Soon they will start giving cold shoulder to each other. It will be more like living with a stranger. Marriage is not all about sex but still, lack of intimacy during sex is one of the top reasons that couple’s divorce. Not caring for partners sexual needs and not connecting with them on emotional levels can show the couples the way to the courtroom.
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