Controlling Anger: towards a safer and softer society
Irrespective of whether we are young or old, or rich or poor, or educated or uneducated, we all tend to have one thing in common: anger.
Anger is now becoming the bane of India. Long respected as one of the most spiritual places on earth, our country is now becoming a bad role model for what the wrong reasons: uncontrolled anger, spoiling the entire society.
What is causing this anger? There are many reasons, but the most important one that actually threatens to spill over to other types of anger, with disastrous consequences, is the growing disparities between the rich and the poor. Thanks to the runaway inflation, the poor have literally nothing to call their own. Since social security institutions such as the Government hospitals are also breeding grounds for massive corruption, they do not have any feeling of security. This feeling of insecurity, coupled with rather low wages, makes them to take to crime, and this is a natural way of showing their anger.
Most robbers of today, would have come from such backgrounds, where they lack even the basic minimum of facilities. We need to do something urgently to try to mitigate their suffering, as otherwise their anger will grow to the gigantic proportions.
Thanks to influence of the mass media and the cinema, the upwardly mobile middle-class is also trying to ape the rich, with disastrous consequences for uncontrolled anger, if their needs and wants are not met. Very recently, a very young man, murdered his own aunt for gain, in Chennai. He confessed to the police that wanted to "settle down" quickly. Such is the result of anger that is suppressed or converted into wrong desires, for lavish living.
Women are increasingly angry with their husbands for one reason: the men tend to toe their mother's line, and are typical mother's boys, even in 2014. Their anger takes them towards extra-marital relationships or open fights, resulting in divorce or separation from their husbands, to live independent lives.
The men in question, do not understand that women in 2014, are not the same old women, of the old times. They are educated, they have desires, they have huge wants for a luxurious life and they just respect their mother-in-laws, if they are respected. If the mother of the husband tries to impose her will, the younger woman starts to hate ti, and the resulting anger is shown all over.
It is high time that the men start addressing such concerns of their wives, rather than go the extra mile to please their mothers. They ought to understand that the two worlds --- that of their mothers and now that of their wives --- are poles apart. Women, as early as thirty years into the past, had lives that had less tension, less inflation, less crowds to tackle in society, and far less complicated education system. Today, each of these things has changed over two hundred percent. The old techniques of the wives adjusting to all whims of mothers will no longer prevail.
Similarly, the youth in thousands of arts and science colleges in our country, see the huge disconnect between what they are taught and the actual demands of the industry. In the colleges, the teachers are happy teaching only the basics, as prescribed in the syllabus. They do not bother whether the students have learned anything job-oriented. Emphasis on research is just not given any importance at all.
Their frustration spills into anger. In fact, their main weakness -- inability to converse in good English -- makes them insecure, and this insecurity turns into anger. This anger spills on to petty crimes, quarrel with sisters or brothers or parents and waste of time with friends, who often blow up their father's income on useless activities.
The workers in the organized sector are very angry that while they slog it out too much, the mangers are very well paid, and enjoy perks that they could only dream of, like for instance, foreign holidays. Whenever they demand higher wages, the Managements literally cry that they do not have enough profits to share. They go all the way to suppress any aggressive intent on behalf of workmen.
The anger that emanates in such circumstances in the minds of workmen, is normally ventilated on humble and innocent housewives in homes, and the results are disastrous. Even murders have happened due to such anger.
Men, under the influence of alcohol, simply ventilate all anger and their animal instincts on innocent wives. This is the cause of many a misery, including poor performance of children in studies, the worst of parental models, and so on. The women who face drunken women, particularly in the lower middle classes in cities, ventilate all their anger on innocent children. This chain reaction is absolutely very harmful to the society.
There can be any number of reasons as to how the bus conductors get angry, but the most irresponsible behavior of college students is one. The students literally ransack buses, stone them, make fun of girls, and even snatch away cash from the conductors. Many a time, such conductors form their won groups, and the trade unions simply block the roads, with hundreds of buses that do not move. Such scenes are very common in India.
So, what can be done to control anger? The answers are not simple indeed. But action of a very severe kind needs to be taken. For example, let the students who study the Master's Degree Course in Social Work, with a specialization in Community Development, fan out into the slums and residences of the lower middle class and start serious counseling of all drunk men. Let the men see the disconnect between their behavior and the disastrous consequences at home. Let them understand what they are doing and then take action. Such counseling will really help.
It is high time that the University Grants Commission and the All India Council for Technical Education ( AICTE), wake up from their Utopian slumber and do something very urgent to stop the meaningless courses in all Arts and Science Colleges. For instance, Physics and Chemistry can be combined into something like Integrated Science, and the syllabus suitably re-structured with active industry collaboration. If this three-year degree course is able to meet the requirements of the Pharmaceutical industry for shop floor technicians, then there will be a really good thing taking place. For this to happen, for example, there has to be a big discussion between the pharmaceutical industry and the UGC/AUCTE, so that the reforms can come very soon. This is just one example.
There are examples from our own society. For example, there are now Bachelor's Degree Courses and Diploma Courses run by various Universities. The heavy emphasis on internship in five star and even three star hotels, makes such courses the best, and the students are able to really contribute to the job, much faster.
The trick is to get the industry and academic experts to get together and explore ways and means of getting this done, to mitigate the anger among students of arts and science colleges. Even the Corporate Organizations can sponsor some free English coaching of all students, as part of their Corporate Social Responsibility.
There will be no use if we start blaming the Government for everything. Wherever there has been big private sector initiative, the results are simply fantastic, though such results actually reach the urban middle class and the rich. For example, several corporate houses have combined in a big joint effort to start the prestigious Indian School of Business. This school is now rated as the best in Asia.
So, even private initiatives can work, provided there is a momentum, and the results should align with the problems of target groups.
For instance, the counselors also need to counsel the mother-in-laws, who are the major causes of many a marital dispute of today. If they are able to see reason, they will change. Marriage counseling should become a profession.
Similarly, the Managements of industrial organizations, need to find out ways and means of addressing the real concerns of workmen. For instance, while some Managements provide housing loans, a few provide some housing subsidy, thus enabling the workmen to own houses, liabilities towards which are settled during their working life.
Hence, let us all make concerted efforts to control anger. There is no choice -- controlling anger will mean less violence against women, less suicides, less murders, less traffic snarls, and less violence in society in general.
A little more compassion, a little more understanding, promoting a climate of friendship, and of some good give and take, and more faith in God and religious practices, can and will bring down anger at various levels.
The exact methodology of getting things done may wary, but attempt we must. Let us all do it right now.
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