Living separately after breakup or living together with breakup......

Living separately after breakup or living together with breakup......Which one is more painful?

I thought so after knowing the real-life experience of a classmate of mine, a single-child to her parents, rich and the most beautiful girl of our class. But she never allowed any boy to come close to her, though she was a fantasy to most of them in our class. She got married twice and both the marriages resulted in divorce. Most painful that both the marriages had a short span of just one month, a time when bonding between the spouses just starts to flourish. First one was ended from her side, and second one from his side though she tried maximum to stick on to it. It has been around 5 years now. Yet she has not recovered that. Through her thoughts, I feel that it's 'our ruling society' where she has to live than the breakups and pain given by spouses which hurts her most. How to face society, how to live here, what will people think about her etc etc.

Let me ask. There are hundreds and thousands of troubled relationships and unhappy people in our society. Only a few end in divorces, while others adjust with the life they get (fearing society is also a factor). There are many cases (in man and woman) where they desire a lot but never get love and care from their spouses, and still remain in relationship receiving pain and disrespect only.

Which condition is more painful? To live after divorce/breakup blaming the fate or witness heartbreaks each and every day (often physical abuses), yet remain in the relationship without any ray of hope? In my friend's case, I feel that as she has moved on, there is no point in thinking about old happenings and should start a new life ( I am not saying about marriage it's her wish, but a good job, or some social work to distract herself from those evil thoughts which can never do good for her). It's my opinion, but I know it's not that easy for a beautiful girl to remain single in the society, as her parents are old now, which is also a concern.

Written by Category: Family & Relationships 4 years ago
Sandhya Rani

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In my view living in a troubled relationship is worst. It is painful to go through the torments every single moment of the life. While break up is huge setback, you might need sometime to overcome and bounce back. But once you overcome, you are back on track and can rekindle your life. But living into a broken relationship just for the sake of societal expectations kills you every moment. You suffocate and all the aspects of your life suffer. It is more painful if you have to carry on with a fix -it smile for the sake of society.

Many troubledrelationships have one cause of staying together other than the societal pressure- that is children. But children from troubled marriages suffer equally as those from divorce. In fact, If parents take the divorce issues sensibly and talk to their children, they overcome it well and can get back on track. But in a trouble family, child suffers each day

Arunima Singh

It is better to make a clean break when all other options  fail, however without being judgmental I feel that your friend too needs to introspect on her own actions since two breakups aftet such a short period  of togetherness is one too many. It takes two hands to clap so it is in her own interest to analyse and see what her own faults were which would definitely help her in the future.

usha manohar

Living together after Break up under one roof leads to more complications. Every moment is a moment of tension. This tension further leads to health related problems like stress. I am of the opinion  that after break up living together is more painful.

Sandhya Rani You haven't clearly understood my question :) - Sandhya Rani - 4 years ago
Sandhya Rani I haven't specified anywhere, Living together after Break up under one roof - Sandhya Rani - 4 years ago
rambabu Living together , after break up I thought it may be under one roof. anyhow, if that is wrong interpretation, I will correct. - rambabu - 4 years ago
Sandhya Rani Thank you. After all it's not possible to live under one roof after breakup. If so they will never go legally to separate - Sandhya Rani - 4 years ago

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Living together with a break up is the worst scenario. One must have the courage to break the relationship which gives only trouble and nothing else. Being in such relationships means one looses the self confidence which is extremely harmful for the existence of any person. It's better to be alone than remain attached to a painful relationship. 

Shampa Sadhya

both are painfull but living together with break up is extremely painful because after break up move on is first and foremost thing for good health so without separation it is not possible to move on.

Nidhi Rajput

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