Crickeating, Cricketalking and Cricketweeting in India
India is the land where you can crickeat, cricketalk and even cricketweet or in a nutshell you can crickenjoy. I hope I do not have to break down these words further and try to make their meanings more understandable or else it will become a matter of ridicule in cricket savvy India. Let us see how people are developing a cricketing lingua-franca of their own in the country:
1. Doctor(explaining to the deceased man's brother): Your brother died due to excessive consumption of alcohol in the SLOG OVERS of his life.
2. My friend(Tweeting his love story): When she proposed to me I found myself on a sticky WICKET . Where ever I went she tried to CATCH me. The day I was rowing in the GULLEY she followed me closely. At first I tried to HOOK away all her BOUNCERS but was CLEAN-BOWLED by her smile towards the end of the INNINGS.
3. Nidhi: Are you going to throw a party?
Rani: No, I am short of money, so I shall rather OVER_THROW it for the time being.
4. Ankur (to his friend in Mumbai): I shall arrive by 10 O'clock tomorrow, how is the weather over there?
Friend: It has been slightly DUCKWORTH-LEWIS sort of weather for the last two days.
5. I along with my son was at the confectionary shop when we saw a glutton gulp six big chocolates and four pastries in succession. My son commented,"This is perfect T20 BATTING."
6. Teacher:How was the question paper today? How was your performance?
Student:Sir, I started the INNINGS well but by the time I reached the middle OVERS, all my WICKETS had fallen.
7. Recently a tweet depicted a multiple choice question :
What do you do when ever you are losing something to someone?
a. Slap anybody who comes your way like HARBHAJAN SINGH.
b. Start chewing gum like RICKY PONTING.
c. Do frog jumping like JAVED MIANDAD.
8. The chief judge opined," Whether or not the bullet has touched William's shoulder has to be found out in the ACTION REPLAY of the SNICKOMETER."
9. He is a real punishing sort of teacher. In the last tuition class he stood up from his seat and was about to punish a sixth standard student when the back of his head accidentally struck an almirah and an ink bottle from the top fell on to his head. As the ink trickled down his forehead he overheard a murmur,"HIT WICKET".
10. Our boss is so obsessed with cricket that we sometimes find ourselves in the mid of a cricket match in our weekly business coordination meetings. A typical session has been reproduced along with the actual implications:
Boss: Have you all observed our SCORE BOOK? It shows a TIE?
(Have you all observed our balance sheet? It shows a no profit-no loss situation.)
We are not SCORING in any format of the game.
(We are not earning profit from any sector of our business.)
I can only tell you about the game plan but FIELDING performance....er....you know what I mean, is the actual thing. Top management has only a role of 3rd UMPIRE.
(I can only tell you about the business strategy but the field performance is the actual thing. Top management keeps vigil only.)
BATSMEN on debut must learn all sort of strokes.
(New recruits must learn the tricks of the trade).
Even though we are short on STRIKE RATE, I hope we shall be able to clinch a victory in a nail biting finish.
(Even though our current production figures are not up to the mark , I hope we shall somehow achieve the target before 31st March.)
An officer(trying to interrupt): Sir don't you think your language is a bit too much cricketing?
Boss: Don't raise any SILLY POINT.
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