Why life seems so hard
We all are well aware of the fact that life is very hard. It is not very smooth and if it was then it could help us to move at the steady pace throughout the journey. It is full of hurdles which make us fall. We fall, we bump into them, we get hurt, we then rise and start our journey forward. This is what life is all about. Life is not a bed of roses. Though it is difficult but not impossible. On daily basis, we see so many bad things taking place in the world. There is a rise in crimes of all sorts such as terrorism, rape, poverty, racism, slavery etc. However, we are stuck in our own lives and even though somewhere is subconscious minds we know that life is hard out there but we rarely try to convince about it to ourselves. We only wake up when our near and dear ones get affected i.e., either hospitalized, abducted, terrorized etc. After few days, we again sink back into our daily routine, until another incident takes place. Repeated incidents in our lives or in lives of those around us make us feel that it is very hard and something is really wrong. We feel that life isn't fair because it was not supposed to happen this way.
Hard days are very difficult
Life is just the way it is. We ourselves have made it so difficult. We had asked for it and now we do not want to accept it. Right now, we are in a "battle of the wills". We have our own wills and our life is the outcome of our wills. There is no denying in it. We all have forced these hard days or even hard years on us where things are not turning out the way we want to. Everything seems difficult. We feel as if we are in a deep hole and cannot find a way out. We cannot see any door open. We cannot find a hand to help us out. We even cannot see a thin stream of light in the darkness. We all have faced different levels of difficulties and hard times in our lives. It can be rejections, heartbreaks, setbacks, stress, poverty, disappointments, sadness etc. During tough times nothing seems right and everyone around us seems to just disappear. Everything feels out of whack and nothing seems working. Since we cannot get our act together, we feel unaccomplished tasks are ruining us. This soon starts feeling as if the most challenging phases of our lives have begun.
Comparision with others
Most of us feel that our life is more difficult than others. Grass seems greener on the other side and thus we feel that others aren't as sad as we are and have not faced as many difficulties in their lives as much as we are facing. In short words, their journey seems quite easy and smooth to us when we compare it with ours. We feel that we have bumped into more obstacles and have faced more headwinds than others. This results in bitterness. We never care about tailwinds which helped us. As a consequence, we remain ungrateful and ever unhappy because we never look at bright side. Darkness will always make us unhappy. Others too have problems. In fact, others may be facing more difficulties than we do. The comparison itself is wrong. We should not compare ourselves with others. They have their own journeys to cover and we have our own. In this way, we will be able to concentrate on ours. We don't know their stories and we do not know how much they had to endure to reach the spot where they are right now. Thus, there is no point in judging them or comparing our lives with theirs. The focus should be only on our lives. When we compare ourselves with lives of those who have faced much more hardships than we have then we will realize how life has been grateful to us and soon we will start honoring and respecting it. We will feel grateful for everything we possess and for everything we are blessed for. To understand what real misery is then one has to compare oneself with less fortunate. Only then, it will become an eye-opener and we will start taking our lives seriously.
Life is a very exciting journey. There will be good times, bad times, challenges, and excitement. It is more like a roller coaster where sometimes we are above and other times, we are down. If we want then we can come back at the top again. Patience is essential. If we make a big deal out of it that we are pushed below and do not have a faith that we can be at the top again then this kind of impatience can only bring sadness. We just need to keep going. If we quit then we can never become winners. We just need to move with the flow. We will exactly reach where we are supposed to reach. Things which come to us very easily are not of real worth. Those which we earn with our sheer hard work and determination seem valuable.
Develop positive approach
We ourselves make our lives difficult. The way we approach our life will actually decide whether we make it easy or difficult. If our approach is negative then definitely it is going to seem us very difficult. Life is precious i.e., very valuable to us. How can we expect it to be easy? Anything that has a worth cannot be achieved easily. Imagine living without any difficulties. It is like swimming in shallow waters where we can see the bright lights easily and save ourselves from bumping into hard obstacles and other creatures. Fun is in to dive deep i.e., to swim in deep at the bottom of the ocean. Fun is in to resolve the mysteries of the sea. No doubt, we are going to bump obstacles along the way and swimming will seem very difficult there as well as there will be no sunlight. But we will get to enjoy the whole experience. We will get to witness magic floor of the ocean. We cannot know true happiness unless we come across sadness. Yes, life is hard and difficult. But it will pass. This is what we need to keep assuring to ourselves. Life is hard for everyone. Each one of us has to face hardships at one or the other times. The need of the hour is to keep patience and have belief. Our belief itself is the one that will keep us alive and keep us going even in difficult times and on difficult, tricky roads. We feel that life is difficult and hard because we feel trapped in failures and rejections. We get tired during difficult times and start feeling that nothing can make us feel alive or amuse us anymore. This is when we feel that we have lost purpose in life. We feel that we are worthless and our life is worthless. Failures lead to anxiety and we consider ourselves as losers.
Life has a meaning
We all have a purpose in life. There is no need to give up no matter how difficult life exhibits challenges in front of us. We all are created to live and inspire others. There is a reason behind everything. Our life cannot be worthless. We exert ourselves with too many responsibilities and give ourselves too little time. This is not going to work. We need to keep patience and find passion. Our passion will help us to find purpose in life and patience will keep us going, no matter how difficult life is. Just change the perspective. look at life from the different point of view and the whole life will seem different. Just a thought will wipe away all the difficulties life imposed on us and we will start exploring all the doorways which will take us further in our journey. See the good in the bad and wait patiently because definitely, something good approaches us when we keep patience and positive attitude.
Life evolves us
Life is so hard so that we can evolve as an individual. At the beginning of our journey we will be an altogether very different people but as the journey continues, we get to experience so much. Our enormous growth takes place and at the destination when we reach, we become completely evolved. Hard times are not meant to complain. They are meant for our evolution. We need to endure everything. We just need to ride it and go with the flow. Infiltration of challenges at every step makes life difficult. Challenges on outside i.e., external challenges are the situations which we face or circumstances which we experience. Internal challenges are our own creations. We set goals and when we fail to achieve them, we get disappointed. It is alright to set goals but then goals have to be realistic. Even if they are not, it is okay. But then, when we embrace disappointments in life, we create some more difficulties in our lives. This is what internal challenges is all about. We have no control over external challenges and thus need to face them more often in life, but internal challenges rather can be avoided to make life easy. This is the reason that we should not make our lives more difficult by creating internal challenges.
We make life hard
We need to get our psychological needs fulfilled. This today seems very difficult. We are frustrated with our drive for competition. We compare ourselves to others and wish to outshine everyone. We wish to possess qualities that nobody possesses. However, this is quite impossible because it either requires a unique talent or we need to explore a niche that is so narrow that others do not have. We also want to feel free. We have our values and want to live with them without ever judged by people or society. Every day we come across so many people and all of them have their respective set of values. It is up to us that how well we can cope up with the differences while living along with everyone. When life was simpler, bonds were stronger. Today, however, bonds are so fragile and weak that it almost frustrates us. Today life has become way complicated than it was a few decades back. We say life is hard or life is difficult and by this, we mean that it is posing a difficulty in our living. However, we do not understand that it is our life. We are living it i.e., we are making it difficult. If we wish to make it simpler, we can make it. If we wish to make it hard and complicated, we can make it. It is we who are making it what it is and it is not posing anything on us because it is we who are possessed of power. We feel that life is quite hard to live. Life is neither hard nor difficult. Life is not doing anything wrong to us. It is a feeling which we have created that is making us feel that life is very cruel and hard.
Selfishness makes life difficult
It is very difficult to get along with others. We all have our different sorts of interests. We all have different opinions, viewpoints which may match with some whereas collide with others. Individuals with whom our viewpoints match, we form groups with them. Our dominance hierarchies emerge and we have today evolved so much that we try to rise above by bringing other groups down by stepping on their backs. This is how we work in groups and this evolved nature of ours definitely bring hardships in life because life is not about dominating or letting others dominate. Life is about living in harmony. Life is also not about forming groups, but about maintaining togetherness among everyone. Being selfish is a wrong quality to adopt in life. This was taught to us right from our childhood. However, we have adopted it and is adopted by everyone who still exists. Survival of fittest isn't possible if an organism isn't selfish and our existence itself is an evidence of our selfish nature. our ancestors passed the test of natural selection. This consequently resulted in their survival and reproduction. All the survival adaptations are a selfish approach to life. We too have many such qualities which help us to benefit us. In one way, it helps existence but with a splash of selfishness. This is what makes life hard because we have selfishness within us and in everyone around us whom we see surviving.
Negative emotions bring difficulty in life
Emotions that which are deep-rooted in us make life hard. They are good as well as bad. Good because we get to express them. Bad because they drain so much energy out of us. No one likes to feel anxious because it drains out so much valuable energy of ours and make us feel restless, taking away all the calmness. However, anxiety is adaptive. Anxiety itself helps us to keep ourselves away from danger. Since we know putting ourselves in so and so the situation may risk our lives, we keep ourselves away from it which definitely means safety. This had been practiced even by our ancestors and these deep-rooted negative emotions helped in evolution. Though these negative emotions are good for evolution they also make life hard.
We all are hypocrites and this fact too makes life hard and difficult. At one or the other point in our life, we experience this kind of inconsistency because our brain is filled with multiple things which collide or become inconsistent with other things which are rooting there and this is a fact. We all say one thing and just perform something else and such people are called as hypocrites. However, this is our tendency and we cannot simply help it. We cannot always practice what we preach and thus we all become hypocrites.
Focus makes life easy
We find everything in our life easy when we completely focus on it. When we focus all our attention on the things which we are pretty good at then everything becomes easy in life. When we are not good at something, we find it difficult to focus our attention on it. We find life difficult because we are finding difficulties in attending it. Some phase of our life is good because everything that we ever carried out in that phase was done religiously by paying complete attention to it because we were good at it. Some phase of our life seems hard because the situations or tasks which we were meant to deal with were very difficult for us and thus we could not focus on them. We can either attend, avoid or obsess what is put in front of us. Attention is very easy because it does not require any curious efforts from our side. It seems easy like breathing. The difficulty arises when we avoid. When we serve difficulty, we start avoiding it. It is not true that we avoid something because it is difficult. We avoid because we sense difficulty "in here". Once we start avoiding, our mind gets programmed. Too much attention will result in obsessing. Here our whole attention is robbed from other walks of lives. We over-focus on one thing and start avoiding other things and this makes life very hard. To make life easy, focus or attention is very important. The more we avoid or the more we obsess, the more "will" will fall apart and make our life difficult and hard.
Develop ease inside the mind
Our life is not hard as it seems. Our perception makes it look very hard. Each new day in our life brings new light and ray of hope. It is up to us to take that hope or just leave it. We can spend rest of our lives complaining about how difficult our life is or else can stop that and appreciate it. We are what we think. Our life is just how we wanted it to be. it's all in our mind. If we generate ease in our mind then outside too, it seems pretty easy. Survival is not guaranteed. Only survival of fittest is possible. Sice this struggle is never-ending, our every day seems like a struggle. Thus life seems pretty hard. There is competition everywhere and in almost all walks of lives. There is greed inside us and we vigorously want to compete and win because we need those resources pretty badly. When greed is in there then how come other negative qualities stay behind and thus hate, jealousy, lyes, all follow. As a result, there is an increase in all sorts of crimes like corruption, murder, abduction, rape, assault etc.
Acceptance is the key. Just accept that circumstances on the outside are difficult which are making our lives difficult. Once we accept it, we will find solutions for it. We cannot keep complaining. We now will become ready to solve the puzzles as they approach us. Discipline is essential and it helps us to work on our problems. If a game is easy then no one would like to play it. Each level increases difficulty and thus we find it interesting when we solve the puzzles and win the games. When a certain phase of our life seems very difficult to us, it gets recorded in our memory very deeply. Our life is a mere reflection of our thoughts. It is what we want it to be. We start believing deeply what we have been looking at for a prolonged period of time. If we find someone annoying and irritating then we will feel the same vibe from him every time we meet him because somewhere in our subconscious mind, we have recorded the whole episode of irritation in our memory. If we think life is hard, it surely will seem hard. If we feel it is easy and smooth, it will appear to be smooth and easy. It is in our minds.Think of life as a happy and joyful journey and we will start taking it in the same manner. This is more like programming of the subconscious mind. Slowly we will start believing deep inside that life is easy without making any conscious efforts. Proper conditioning of mind is essential because our belief systems should be right. If any of our belief systems are creating turbulence in our life then we need to replace it with right one. Life is not at all hard. Instead, we are making it hard. We need to keep patience and faith. This faith itself will help even the most difficult times to pass away and good times once again will come back in our lives. Just keep the faith that every dark cloud has a silver lining. Life may not be making any sense, but just keep faith and trust in everything.
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