I had recently been to a very famous Shopping mall in Chennai.  The mall itself is a symbol of the rising upper middle class and the rich, who just want to spend a huge amount of money, anyway.

Yet, there are times when seemingly middle class people also visit such malls. A very interesting thing happened.  A boy, just about eleven years old, forced his parents to buy very costly jeans and certain other items.  The father tried to reason out that he would get the same in another shopping district.  This is because in that particular place, the goods are sold at much cheaper prices.  The mother looked on helplessly, while the boy insisted that he would not move out of the mall, unless the purchase was made.

With great reluctance, and some anger, the father purchased the jeans.  The family just ran to the cinema hall in the same mall, where they had booked tickets.  Obviously, the father had planned for only watching the movie, but the money was also spent on something else.

How do we discipline such children?  Is this a sign of the growing permissiveness in our society?

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  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    Kalyani Nandurkar
    Editor & Super Moderator
    258 14.6k 108.2k

    The incident you have cited is seen repeatedly in all cities in India nowadays. Just last week there was an unfortunate incident in Pune, a 10-year-old boy demanded an expensive jacket but was refused by his parents. Later on, they left for dinner with family outside and the boy kept sulking, refusing to go with them and chose to remain at home with his grandparents. He went and locked himself in the room and hanged himself from the fan. The fact that a 10-year-old boy can commit suicide over such a trivial thing is simply too much to take in! I would put it to parents for giving in too easily to their kids during the formative years> They simply cannot take no for an answer.

    When the child is growing up , they should be made to understand the value of each thing and money. If they are given everything they ask for, an unhealthy attitude develops in them, leading to such ugly tantrums in public.


    "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
    - W. C. Fields :)


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    ABSIVAKUMAR
    Senior Boarder
    85 135 1.33k

    Exactly.  But inculcating such values is a very tall order, as parents are often so busy with their office work, and most mothers are now employed, in almost every Indian home.  The role of the grandparents becomes very crucial, and they should live with their children, at least for some time.  This is mostly not the case. 

    Very sorry to hear about the suicide.  Such things are rare but does happen.  We should try to do something.  One wonders whether trained counselors, appointed in schools can help.  There is no law so far, but may be, we can convince the schools to appoint such counselors, at least, on a part time basis. 

    Something needs to be done, rather urgently.


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    jabeen
    Platinum Mate
    0 1.45k 11.2k
    Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

    The incident you have cited is seen repeatedly in all cities in India nowadays. Just last week there was an unfortunate incident in Pune, a 10-year-old boy demanded an expensive jacket but was refused by his parents. Later on, they left for dinner with family outside and the boy kept sulking, refusing to go with them and chose to remain at home with his grandparents. He went and locked himself in the room and hanged himself from the fan. The fact that a 10-year-old boy can commit suicide over such a trivial thing is simply too much to take in! I would put it to parents for giving in too easily to their kids during the formative years> They simply cannot take no for an answer.

    When the child is growing up , they should be made to understand the value of each thing and money. If they are given everything they ask for, an unhealthy attitude develops in them, leading to such ugly tantrums in public.

     

     

    Exactly!! You have rightly said that children should be made to understand the value of things when they are still young. In fact, children tend to understand the value of things if they are told properly with reasons. Children would throw tantrum if parents would refuse them something outright without giving any reasons but if it is refused by giving proper explanation the children tend to comply.

  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    Gulshan Kumar Ajmani
    Editor & Super Moderator
    3.48k 21.9k 176.9k

    There is a liit to every thing. No dout, children should also have a say in purchasing things but should also be made to undersand that they have no veto in such matters.


    G. K. Ajmani Tax consultant
    http://gkajmani-mystraythoughts.blogspot.com/


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    vijay
    Diamond Mate
    31 4.98k 28.3k

    Consumer spending research studies have shown that children have a big say in the purchase decision of many items including cars. I know of a family which had to borrow funds to buy a costlier car because of the tantrums he threw every time they wanted to buy Alto car. One of the reason parents give in is because of present day families being nuclear and purchasing power also being higher. Working parents want peace even at high costs. Advertisements are also responsible for creating status consciousness among small children. However we are all aware of three Hathas ; Raj hath. Stree Hath and Bal Hath.


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    Dwarakanathan
    Platinum Mate
    75 1.12k 8.27k

    Parents should teach their children about their family status and how much they can able to spend for items. If parents wants to see the cinema then he should book it in theater only he should not book the ticket in a shopping mall complex. For children age they can't understand they want to get the things for their favor. In our childhood we also asked several things to parents if they did not buy those things for us we get angry on them. The same is continuing by our child but we get angry now. Though it is said that shopping in shopping malls is costly some shops are there selling products for low budget peoples.


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    RAMAKRISHNAN. A
    Gold Boarder
    2 674 5.38k

    Everything depends upon the way children are brought up from their childhood. Parents should handle them tactfully and psychologically so that the children should understand the value of money and what they should yearn and what should not.


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    Mousumi Ghosh
    Diamond Mate
    59 2.72k 22.9k

    If a 10 yr old can commit suicide over not getting a certain things, this is something very serious. I think parents are to be blamed, most parents hang out in malls and even as adults many of us to impulsive shopping. So children are after all children, they can get attracted to things -costly things on display. I think parents even if employed do get time to spend on weekends, and it during weekends that parents should spend quality time with their children instead of taking them to malls. Also, parents should teach their children that costly clothes or gifts can be bought only during special occasion and that too within a budget. The kind of ads we see even in tv channels dedicated to children are spoiling children in a big way. Parents need to draw a line what is real and what is showy and fantasy from an early age. This will help children to reason out things they demand.


    “A mistake is a crash-course in learning” – Billy Anderson


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    Taniya Choudhury
    Expert Boarder
    18 278 1.76k

    This is actually a very serious issue and should be taken very seriously during the formative years of a child. When a child is very young say a 3 or 4-year-old child he or she barely understands what is going on and it is very difficult to control the situation. In that case a child can be diverted by just changing the topic or showing them something else especially because children tend to forget very easily. I think it is best to avoid frequent visits to these expensive malls. 


    I love writing and sharing ideas


  • Re: Should purchase decisions be taken by children, most of the time?

    by » 7 years ago


    vijay
    Diamond Mate
    31 4.98k 28.3k

    It is wrong to blame the children. They are shrewd observers and copy their parents behaviour. Children know how to throw tantrums, but it is a testing ploy. If not acceded  they give up. Some amount of parenting should be taught in colleges also.


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