The art of dealing with others
Good manners refer to the way people go about doing things both in private and public it covers rules of behavior, varieties of disposition and temperament, outward learning and attitudes. It covers the whole range of our conduct in relation to others. In short good manners are the skills of making people feel easy and comfortable.
We always live in an environment surrounded by our friends and others. In school, thousands of students interact with us. In such interactions, we should be helpful to everyone as much as we can. We should be extra-helpful to the weak and the poor. We should not make fun of the poor and the handicapped. Everyone should find a true friend in each of us.
It is natural to have negative feelings of jealousy, anger and suspicion. These negative values always come in the way of our interactions with others. Therefore we should not cultivate such values. There are people who indulge in spreading false information about others. We should not be bearers of tales. We should not judge others. We should not talk ill of others. When others know that we do not entertain talks, we will stand tall in their eyes.
Our greatest wealth is our name. We should never allow anything to tarnish our name. We should be bold in keeping our name. Good name, honor and virtue can make us happy. Once our name is tarnished, it will prove to be very costly.
Whatever we speak, we should be prudent. We should never mislead anyone by our words. If we are really good, there will be someone who tries to test us. Whatever be the test, we should be strong to resist. Once he realizes that we are really good, he will no more try to put us to test.
We should not associate with people who are of doubtful character. Such association can do us only harm. We do not entertain poisonous snakes. They are kept away from us. So, bad people should be avoided. They are dangerous.
At the same time, we should be sociable. We should mix with everyone. We should not put on airs. If we are good, our goodness will certainly influence others. Even people with negative qualities will be influenced by our goodness. We should not be a source of evil to anyone by word or deed. We should not allow others to use us a tool to spread evil. We should not become a plaything in the hands of wily people.
We should be very careful in choosing friends. Some people make friends with us for our money or position. A friend in need is a friend indeed. If we agree to do anything for anyone, we should keep our promise. We should be trustworthy. We should not make false promise. Once others find out our falsehood, our reputation will suffer. People will keep away from us.
If we borrow anything from others, we should return it after use. People who borrow books forget to return them. When we return, we should do it with thanks. Let the expressions `thank you’ and `please’ be always on our lips. We have no right to other’s things and services. So when they give us their things and services, try to thank them. We should be grateful to them. Gratitude reveals a person’s nobility.
We should be grateful to people. We should express appreciation for the smallest services received. Gratitude arouses a person’s consciousness to the necessity of being indebted to people of their kindness and generosity.
If someone offers us help, if we do not need the help, do it politely with words `No’, thank you.’ If we cannot comply with something we are asked to do, we should say I am sorry’. Or `please excuse me’. This will make us pleasing to them and they will not take offence at our refusal.
In we happen to hurt or offend someone, we should say I am sorry.’ I did not mean to hurt you’. Being courteous to people carries us a long way. We should not hesitate to make fun. But we should do it in spirit of give and take. When others make fun, we should not get offended. We should take that in a good sense.
We should not whisper into the ear of a person when we are in the company of others. We should not talk in a language that others do not know. We should keep this dictum always in mind. `Do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you.’ Once this dictum is followed in letter and spirit, our social life becomes a pleasant experience.
*To have a smooth life in society, we need to develop a code of conduct. Expressions like `Thank you’, `please,’ `excuse me’, I am sorry and so on can keep us acceptable to others. They make our life smooth sailing. We should not do anything that we do not want others to do to us.
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